I have 2 dds (2yrs and 10m) and bad pregnancies- 2nd was a happy accident
. Which meant quite a bit of help from mum for 1st but I was abroad and away from hubby for 3 months during the worst of it. Things then settled into a routine of sorts and we were coping. Then decided to move and got in one month before dd2 was born. In a nutshell- a lot went on and still going on.
Lucky enough to afford live in nanny/homehelp, although its a stretch; the logic at that point being that I could then go back to work sooner and more easily and hence justifying the cost.
DD now 10m, I still feel in no shape to face work, esp as I have no job waiting (I was trying to set up a business when I fell pregnant but just couldn't cope). I pretty much have to network and be my old 'dynamic' self. On top of that, in spite of having all that help, I pretty much take on most of childcare because I love them so much and want to be with them and nurture them. I feel guilt about 'off- loading' them to someone who's not family. Its only getting worse. Saturdays were my hubby and my time to be alone for a few hours before nanny left. Now I feel like we should be spending that time with them instead, esp as hubby has a job that involves him being away a lot.
I can't really see a way out of this and need someone to shake me or something! Any wise words out there?
Btw- I do go out etc but mostly only once they're asleep.