co-sleeping, experienced mums please help

[KnockedUpMell]

I've been thinking about co-sleeping, and think it's probably something that I would like to do for at least the first 6 months as I would like to BF as well, and don't fancy the thought of having to get out of bed everytime the baby needs a feed.

We have a superking size bed, and we are planning to push it against the wall, so it's wall (with a rolled blanket / towel on the side to make it soft), baby, me and the OH.

I really had concerns about the baby soiling the sheets, and having to change them in the middle of the night, and was wondering if anyone else has had experience of co-sleeping and how they got around this problem. I was initially thinking of absorbent pads underneath the baby, but these won't fit the entire bed, and I was under the impression all bedding had to be tucked in to be safe for the baby.

The other option we are considering is a co-sleeper cot, and I guess with that it's easier to change the sheets as required...

Any advice from mums who've done co-sleeping?

I used to put a separate sheet across where ds was sleeping and tuck it in one side and under me on the other. Are you worried about leaky nappies? The extra sheet solves that one, and you can put an absorbent pad underneath it if you prefer. I'd put a muslin under us when he was feeding.

Does that help?

I used a waterproof sheet over the entire bed (John Lewis do a cotton quilted top one in supe king size) and then a towel under the DC and me which was enough to mop up the milk leaks although TBH between my leaky boobs and OTT night sweats the baby soiling the sheets was the least of my worries!

We didn't worry about having the baby against a wall - they slept on the edge of my side of the bed when they were tiny and moved into the middle of DH and I when a bit older. I would be more comfortable with that than the rolled blanket/towel idea tbh.

Thanks for the tips- yes I was worried about leaky nappies mainly, but also anticipating baby puke. It's my first, and have not much idea what to expect, but figured that if I assume the baby will be very messy, the reality can only be better!

Did either of you have any problems with the duvet getting close to the baby (another worry of mine)? At the moment I'm thinking we can probably tuck it in at the foot of the bed so it doesn't reach as far as the baby does- any suggestions about this?

We co-slept in a Superking bed for years (with dd and then ds). I have got a John Lewis undersheet too - also found it more useful for me leaking than the nappy! I can't remember a nappy ever leaking actually but it has come in useful over the years for times when they were sick.

I never had a problem with the duvet. I also had the baby next to me and then in the middle when a bit older (I am not the same person as nancydrewrocked, promise ).

HTH.

I co-slept with my DD until she was 3, we used a bed guard, you can get them from mothercare, argos and lots of online places too probably, they have mesh sides so are breathable. A better idea than up against the wall whereby you'll create a gap that the baby could, potentially, get stuck down.

So long as you intend to breastfeed you will sleep in a position that stops the baby from wriggling up under the pillows, most breastfeeding mums do because it's the easiest position to feed in during the night.

You could consider a bedside cot, one that has 3 sides and an open one that butts up next to the bed, a sort of extension which the baby sleeps in, you just pull her/him over for a feed then push them back again when they've finished.

As for the covers going onto the baby, so long as you only have them waist high you will remain alert enough to be aware of whats going on with them.

Forgot to add: I didn't really/care about a bit milk on the sheets and certainly wouldn't have got up in the night to change them. Don't remember a nappy leaking, probably wouldn't have been too bothered about that either though, it'll be very pure if it's breastmilk pee.

Maybe I'm just a bit of a minger though

It is actually quite amazing how, once the baby is in bed with you, your body and actions automatically adapt to protect and comfort your baby. I spent a good 6 months sleeping sort of curled round my DC with my arm protecting them from any potential fall.

Once they get older you all toughen up a bit and now it is a free for all with kicks and shoves exchange all night (my eldest is 5 though she can take it !)

We have DD in a grobag between us on top of the duvet. If the nappy leaks then we just change the sleeping bag.

We have DS in a bedside cot up against my side of the bed, he starts the night in there then comes if for feeds and if I can bothered I might put him back after he has had a feed. I have a muslin underneath the fitted sheet and change the sheet about twice a week as DS is king of the exploding nappies.

As others have said it's amazing how quick you adapt to the classic breastfeeding mum sleep position knees bent, baby near boob arm above you.

We've been co sleeping for just under 3 years now.

DD has mostly slept between DP and I in our kingsize bed since she was born.

She slept on top of the duvet which had a Pampers Disposable change Mat between her and the duvet and then she had a baby blanket over just her which wasn't tucked in so she could kick it off if she got too warm.

The reality was nothing ever leaked so we ditched the dispoable mat and got a waterproof matress cover (which is where we are today!)

As the other posters say, you'll be pleasantly suprised as to the position your body will adopt to protect your baby.

I coslept with mine occasionally, but the size and height of the bed meant I could only do it when my partner wasn't in the bed, so the LO could be right in the middle - bed is huge and high and can't be put by the wall.

More recently I've got a bednest cot, which is absolutely great - it's height adjustable and opens to the side so you can just reach in and hold the baby, pull baby out to bf, replace dummy in mouth etc, or even have them in the bed on that side with you, knowing that if they wriggle they'll just wriggle themselves back into their cot. It cost a fair few bob, but it is a great design, looks nice and works well. I've used it as a travel cot too, and it was nice and easy to set up, though not terribly light.

We co-slept with dd from about 4 months - 8 months, when she went into her own room. She still has the odd night in with us now though (20 months old).

To be honest, in that whole time, I've never had a nappy leak on bedsheets. Pampers... maybe they're worth the extra money then, as they were many, many, truly gross poos, but always contained! I might be under some illusion, but I don't think modern nappies really leak anymore.

In the first four months, I was making a big effort not to co-sleep and had dd in a cot by the bed, but was always bf in bed, and inevitably ended up nodding off in bed with her. I'm sure my boobs leaked on the odd occasion, and there was a bit of regurgitated milk, but I don't remember changing bedding or it being a big deal.

You'll probably be too tired to notice/care anyway - I wouldn't worry about the plastic sheets and absorbable mats, and certainly don't invest much money in them, as the likelihood is you won't bother with them after a few days anyway. Good luck!

Thanks for all the advice- I'm feeling a lot more optimistic now!

I was also particularly worried about nappy leaks as I was hoping to use re-usable cloth nappies and from what I have read they need changing more often than disposable ones.

Will probably get a couple of absorbent pads to put under the baby with a sheet over just in case..

We had a bedside cot but dd only used in for playing in the middle of the night and refused to sleep in it. We removed it and then had a bed guard both at the foot end and on the side where dd slept (I slept in the middle). We also used a John Lewis undersheet and we replaced our duvet by sheet and cotton bedspread to ensure that bed was not too hot for dd. Both dd and I slept really well, DH unfortunately was left with very little space somehow (we always ended up taking over middle of bed). However, it worked out well with breastfeeding and I am sure that both dd and I got a lot more sleep as a result, most of the time I barely noticed when she was feeding and she seemed fully asleep whilst feeding ...

we never had nappy leaks but did use washables and they're better with newborn poo than dispies. I wouldn't do the rolled towel thing - sounds a suffocation risk tbh. dh slept on the sofabed for the first year, giving me and dd plenty of room to stretch out - he benefitted from a full night's sleep so he wasn't that bothered either

With DD I did the same as you, but didn't bother with the rolled up towel, would have worried about suffocation.

Didn't bother with protective sheets, but have got a minging mattress (from breast milk leaking rather than nappy explosions).

With DS1 he was in between us, but he didn't do co-sleeping until he was bigger.

Agree with others that it's breastmilk and mum's sweat (sorry to be gross) moreso than leaky nappies and this happens whether you co-sleep or not. For this baby (and because we are going to have a co-sleeping 3 year old as well, we're buying a king-sized mattress for the floor. Can't wait!

I co-slept with my DS for the first 2 yearsof his life and it was the best thing I ever did as I breastfed and actually got some sleep. I also felt closer to him and that I have made an emotional investment in him. It is so much more natural to have your baby sleep with you IMO. To get around the leaky breasts, baby sick etc I just used to lay DS on a large towel and if it became soiled I would just throw it in the wash and grab another. It's such a lovely thing to do, you just can't beat snuggling up to your baby at night and the risk of SIDS is greatly reduced so what's not to like? I am currently pregnant with DC2 and plan on doing the same again. Good luck.

Oh and with the duvet I didn't use a duvet for myself instead I just put on some extra warm pyjamas and a dressing gown. Ds didn't need anything apart from a babygrow and a cardi as he was warm from my body. It all depends on how warm your house is and if you have the heating on at night.

As a mum you are very conscious of your baby and very sensitive to their movements, I found DS had a reflex action that he would kick out with his legs if I got too close and I think this must be a survival instinct to prevent rolling/suffocation. If anything touched his legs or feet he would just kick out and wake me up so it was great! I would sleep curled up around him and he would sleep on his side facing me or roll onto is back.

KnockedupNell we co-slept and used washables and I can't remember one leaking in the night. When the baby is a bit older you can get boosters to put in them so that they are more absorbant at night.

We never bothered with mattress protectors either, although my boobs did leak alot at first with DC1.

There should be no need for the rolled up towel, I agree with the others about the suffocation risk. Your baby probably won't roll that way at first anyway. You could leave your bed where it is and put something soft on the floor in case of the, very slight, risk that your LO would fall out.

With the quilt, I didn't bother to tuck it in. The lovely oxytocin means that you stay aware of where your baby is and where the quilt is and you just keep it away from the baby. I sort of tucked the quilt under my arm IYKWIM.

You might find this book helpful although I must admit I've never read it

I read 3 in a bed and found it great in that it's gives the facts about the lower risk of SIDS with co-sleeping and so I feel armed when people express their concern over co-sleeping.

I have a 3 sided cot on one side and DH on the other, and a towel underneath the sheet which is enough to absorb just about anything.

IME the most difficult thing about co sleeping is trying to explain it to other people who think that dd should be in her own room by now.

I have a waterproof mattress protector with a sheet and then, until dd was about 6 months, I had a blanket for her & me to sleep on.

I have a rolled up wool blanket along the top of the bed in case she moves up and gets stuck by the headboard.

My dh & I have separate duvets.

There are no pillows near her. I've got used to sleeping with one just at the back of my head as I lie on my side iyswim.

In the winter I wear long sleeve tops so I'm not cold & don't pull up the duvet in my sleep.

On my side with one arm sort of bent with hand under my head and the other on dd.

Could not add to the great advice above, but just to say co-sleeping is the best thing we've ever did, tried a crib for the first 3 weeks or so and it just didn't work, wish I co-slept right from the start. Great for bf, in fact, I think it is the one thing that made me succeed at it, learnt to feed lying down straight away, I had a very fast let down reflex and feeding lying down helped too, as DS could pull away easier without choking on rivers of milk, iykwim! We have a superking bed too. Enjoy every minute, it is so precious!