Anyone happy?

[GoInky]

I am starting a website to support and inspire women with life, career and kids choices.

For me it seemed so much of a struggle to make these choices. I tried them all: SAHM, full-time work, WAHM...

I would love to help the next generation of women, so it doesn't have to be a struggle for them.

Is there anyone out here for whom it never really felt is a struggle. Who are just happy with what they chose. Is it possible?

Oh yes, it's quite possible to be happy with life.

After first child worked p/t in the same professional job I was doing before he was born.
After 2nd stopped altogther (childcare too expensive for two and too complicated).
After 3rd didn't go back to work until he was at school.

Now work P/T in job for considerably less money and prestige than what I started out doing and was trained for.

We are lucky in that I didn't absolutely need to go back to work, but it has meant that we can now have nicer holidays/children go on school trips - i.e. pays for the extras in life.

I recently discovered a potential health issue but thought, if I was to die tomorrow, I can't really complain, I have had such a happy life.

DD is 3.I went back to work part time when she was 6 months old.The 4 hrs work I do in the morning is my time and space to be me - not DD,s mummy.Sounds odd but it works for me and keeps me sane! I feel Im contributing in the financial sense , would feel like a kept woman otherwise!Luckily DH works opposite shifts so childcare isnt an issue,its lovely he gets to share in her growing up too and lots of guys miss out on this.I reckon you just have to find what works for you.I agree,for all my complaining , I guess I have a happy life!

Yes. Its possible.

I started my own company and work as few or as many hours a week as I want. My son goes to daycare 2 mornings a week.

I am 100% happy with my decision and so is my husband.

Yes. I've always worked PT and have always been happy with that choice. Have had my own money & feeling of self worth, but spent loads of time with the children as well.

Of course there are blips, like when one of the children was ill, I was due in Court and DH was working in the States - that happened loads when they were little - but the thing to remember is that the difficult times are actually quite few and far between, and before you know it they're older and can be left at home with a cold, so it's not such a big deal.

I see happiness as quite transitory like anger & despair

Contentment is much more attainable

I've struggled a lot - a hell of a lot. Not just with depression (which I'm ertain it's hormonal and all tied in to my menstrual cycle also had terrifying PND), and I've struggled with relationships, finances, everything really.

Been on my own for 10 years (apart from a few disastrous dalliances) and my kids are now teenagers. I still don't have much money, nor a relationship, nor any kind of social life ... but I work (self employed) and as I near menopause (and hopefully the end of the hormonal problems that have dogged me all my life) I do feel a kind of contentment.

It's hard to explain really but I just don't get upset about things in the way I once did, I am much more accepting of my situation and focus on the positives - like the fact I've got two strong, healthy kids, I am my own boss, and because I don't have a partner, I can do what I want when I want. I think the biggest thing for me was the fact that I left my partner (long story) but because we weren't married he got the house - yes I could have fought for it, but I didn't - I was that grateful to get away.

I have ended up in social housing and I felt very bitter for a long time - hated being here which made the depression a lot worse. Now though I look at my home and think - the rent is reasonable, how would I have coped with a mortgage on my own with two young kids and precarious work situation, and I don't have to worry about repairs as I just pay a maintenance charge and all that is covered. It's a good size has a lovely garden etc. I now see how lucky I am to have it.

So yes, it's been a long and difficult road for me - but I'm happy - well contented is probably the right word. I just accept my lot and get on with it these days.