Struggling a bit with feeding/caring

[Ozziegirly]

Maybe this should be in the feeding topic.

DS is 3 weeks old, and I am feeding him expressed breastmilk in a bottle as breastfeeding never took.

It was going fine at first when he would literally feed, sleep, poo. I had plenty of time to express and in fact had a nice supply in the fridge...

Anyway, now he is more alert, it's lovely, and I am enjoying doing more "playing" with him (walking, showing him stuff in the garden, chatting with him etc). The downside is that I just don't have time to express 6-7 times a day, as it's 30 mins each time.

I then have developed mastitis due to not expressing enough (I think). Am now on antibiotics, but have had to resort to formula as supply is not keeping up.

So, has anyone got any suggestions as to how I can express enough, but also spend time with my son?

It's also hard at the moment as DS doesn't seem to love formula - it makes him windy and he strains for a poo. But he also looks at me with disgust when i offer my antibiotic flavoured milk.

It also seems that my supply is starting to drop off a bit - totally understandable as I am expressing less.

Aaaahh! Basically I think I need some reassurance that I'm doing ok - and whether it's more important to get breastmilk into him, or spend more time with him but feed him formula.

That sounds so so hard

personally I thnk if the expressing is making you ill (mastitis ) and unhappy I'd switch to full rme formula
you've already given your little one a brilliant start
you could switch formulas to see if another suits him better
those first few weeks are so hard so do what feels right for you
by week 6 you'll be feeling slightly better, by week 12 you'll be feeling much better and keep Xmas in mind - that's when you'll start feeling like a normal human being again
best of luck xxxx

It's just hard because so far, not a thing I planned has worked out. I had an EMCS, couldn't breastfeed, no skin to skin, he was given blood test after blood test in the first few days, syringe fed formula until my milk came in as his blood sugars were so low so I felt at least by expressing I was doing something that was recognised as good for him.

On the flip side, he is a wonderful, interested, fab little boy already, and the bottle feeding has meant that my DH is also really well bonded with him, as am I.

As bigchris says, you've already given him the best start and you're doing all these fab things out in the garden - that is parenting, not the breast!

Lots of people who have an EMCS really struggle with milk supply - you've already done so much better than me for example (my milk supply was nada!). We've got a support thread in "breast/bottle feeding" for formula mums if you'd like to take a read.

Good for dad btw! :)

Thank you Skihorse, that really means a lot to me - I think I just had these ideas of how motherhood would be, and none of them really have come to fruition.

But on the flip side, I love my son so much that sometimes I have cried when I look at this perfect little baby that we have created

I will come and have a look at the formula thread as well, thank you!

Ozzie, my experience with my first child was really similar - emergency section, no skin-to-skin, baby didn't latch well, I was exhausted and stressed, had terrible mastitis, expressed for a while and eventually gave up and turned to formula when DS was about 6 weeks old and the mastitis led to a massive abcess in my left breast

I found expressing very hard going, to be honest. It only really works if you can keep it up as often as you would naturally feed (which can be pretty much continuously with a newborn), including nights. Otherwise, your supply goes all over the place. You either start drying up, or you get over- supply (happened to me) and the engorgement leads to engorgement and mastitis.

Although some people do manage to express for months and months (hopefully some of them will come along), it's quite unusual. I think if you want help to re-establish breastfeeding, you could contact La Leche or your local NCT and ask for bf-ing support. It isn't too late. This is a possibility for you.

But equally, if you are unwell and breastfeeding is affecting your enjoyment of your baby, it is OK to stop. I know some people will disagree with me (this is always an emotive issue!), but I think that ensuring your physical and mental wellbeing as a new mother is the most crucial gift you can give your baby.

It's hard, this new mother malarkey, isn't it? It rarely works out how you intended (for nay of us!).

one more thing - it's great to be enjoying spending time with your baby 'playing' etc, but you are only 3 weeks post-birth, and at the risk of sounding patronising (sorry!), you don't actually have to do anything with your baby at this stage. You can stay in and totally chill out and have cuddles/let him sit in his bouncer or lie on a mat. He won't care or notice the difference, as long as he is near you.

Good luck x

excuse double usage of 'engorgement' in second para!