"Class" presents for the birthday child - what do you think?

[3HotCrossBuns]

I wasn't quite sure where to post this but I'm interested in your opinions - our class rep has recently asked the class mums' opinions on having a collection for each birthday child in the class (say £5 each) and getting a "big" present of the relevant child's mum's choosing rather than lots of individual presents from each of the children in the class. The gift is then presented to the birthday child at school or at the party. The majority thought this was a good idea. I didn't! I am happy for 2 people to club together for a present or if 2 children share a party for the presents to be split between them to lessen the "mountain".

BTW - the children concerned are in Y1, I can see how it might work for older children who actually might just want the money (like the birthday money you get in cards from grandma!) to put towards something particular.

Anyway I am a lone voice - just wondered what anyone else thinks? Hope I'm not being unreasonable to the rest of the class!!

Thanks for your thoughts

Well those parents not intending to throw parties won't be expected any presents
and not all the kids will be friends so you'd end up contributing towards a present for a child you don't even though
crap idea IMO

I've known this happen in a small local private girls school. As there are only 10 in each class, it makes some sense. But in my dc school, each class has 28 children, and not all have a party, and by Y1 they aren't asking every class member to each party anyway. So thumbs down from me!

OMG! If there are 30 children in the class you will have to fork out £150 over the course of a year? This is ridiculous. It seems so ridiculous, in fact, that I wonder whether I'm misunderstanding?

Gosh, what amaterialistic society we live in nowadays. Is this supposed to continue throughout primary school? My god.

We have done this since year 1. Only if all class invited to party though. Which they usually were in Yrs 1 and 2. From yr 3 it was often just girls or just boys so then just those invited would contribute. It worked well here. We are in Hungary though and it is hard to buy an individual present cheaply though.

Sorry - is that £5 from each child to go to one child? So for a class of 30 - that is £150??
I would not agree with this at all - what if a parent can't afford that? I don't even spend that amount on one birthday present for my own dc's! Surely there is something nice about choosing a present for that child and giving it to them? or have I got the worng end of the stick?

No. No. A thousand times No. What happens when you have 3 or 4 birthdays in a week? And also giving £150 to a child for a birthday present? Ridiculous. It will last for a few birthdays then people won't be able to afford it and it will fizzle out. Hard luck on those with birthdays in August! Presents/money should not be given under pressure.

A lot of us pick up presents in tesco the works poundland etc where stuff is two or three quid

I think a fiver per present is OK.

But I think the birthday child/parent should get to decide whether they want a mountain of crap, or one big present.

And the problem with the one big present is that, as has been said, £150 is a huge amount to spend on a child. What if the parents have chosen/can only spend £50/£30/£20? I think that presents from parents should be biggest.

So I suppose if it's a class present, I would suggest that £5 a head is too much. In a class of 30, £2 is plenty, isn't it?

It's a crackpot idea.

It depends on how many children are in the class, but for a class of 30 it's far too much money for a childs birthday present. And too much for parents to contribute over the year. Also, it puts pressure on parents to organise whole class parties. hocus is right - it will just fizzle out and cause a lot of resentment.

We are in a private school of 20 per class. 1 of my main objections was that the children (well mine at least) is just at the stage of remembering who gave him what and I am beginning to talk to him about the thought that counts - he likes to "choose" gifts (within reason, obv!) for grandma, daddy, his brother etc. He likes to get the books/cars/action figures/craft stuff from his friends.

It just seems lazy on the part of the mums and "anti-birthday spirit" if there is such a thing!

Oh hang on - I'm talking about children invited to a birthday party. Just handing out a massive gift to a child from the class that everyone HAS to contribute to is a bit much.

Bad idea ..but then I don't think that whole class parties are a good idea either and kids like opening lots of presents anyway

True - shite for kids born in summer hols.

What about handing half the birthday haul over to a charity of the birthday child's choice, or to buy something for the classroom? I'd say make it £3 a head for parties only, and do that.

Sounds like madness to me. Unless you are somewhere that every single person has pots of money. £5 is a heck of a lot to some people, especially if there are clusters of birthdays.

I don't like the idea, but can't quite pin down why.

It has its plusses at that age - boys and girls haven't separated off, and whole class parties are pretty common. It reduces pressure to spend, and means you don't have to tear out for an 11th hour pressie when you're having a disorganized week.

But I still don't like it - perhaps because it takes the joy and spontaneity out of giving, reducing it to a dreary obligation. Perhaps because if the risk the system would break down mid-year. Perhaps it's just personal dislike if being told how to spend my money.

And it wouldn't work with big class sizes, or with either low income families, or indeed affluent but over-extended families with less than secure parental employment (which describes a lot if us right now).

I don't like it - it smacks of a military operation which takes out all the individuality. Children like to chose presents for their friends. It doesn't have to be much, anything from 99p to be honest at that age.

I don't like people organising me to that extent.

Pleased I'm not out voted on mumsnet !

no it's a terrible idea

I usually spend about £7 on a present for achild, so £5 doesn't seem so bad -or I rehash a present which have been given to my children.

I think it is an utterly mad idea! It also makes it difficult to have a small party with a few close friends-I think that whole class parties are a dreadful idea and don't need encouragement!

The idea is ... what's the word I'm looking for ???

Bollocks.

It seems to have some plus points, that the child can get a big present they want rather than say 20 action men.... but all seems so contrived and organised.... and def takes the fun out of it all.

plus agree about cost - seems expensive?

Liked the earlier idea of half on present and half for charity... etc.

But this would only work if all parents agreed.

But this is all from me with my first bun in the oven - i'm dreading the party thing already!!!!

And there'll be one or two mummies who are like "Yeah, I've spoken to my son and he says he just wants the money to put in his saving's account or to use as spending money when we go on holiday". And then the money will go in her pocket to be spent on booze/fags from the corner shop on the way home.

Sceptical, I am. But only cause the world's made me that way!