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Parenting

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Original poster

Anybody else have a toddler that just follows them around crying all day? <HELP ME>

11 replies

comewhinewithme · 10/09/2010 09:39

She is almost 16 months and just wants me to hold her all day.
She slaps me and anyone who comes near me she also hits the laptop hits books and toys I am holding and hits food out of my hand.
She is at this moment on her third hour of crying and whinging she has her toys out I have played with her (made her a shaker and sat and played cars with her) I have fed her and I have breastfed her.
All she does is cry day in day out.
I am a horror to be around because of this and sleep deprivation as she is up 2 times in the night too.
The only time she stops is bathtime and when she is in her pram or trike.
I am not going ott on this she basically cries from when she wakes up until the evening with tiny breaks in between.
I am also terrified that we are pissing our neighbours off -we only moved in two weeks ago and it sounds so loud in here I am worried it must be annoying to next door :(.

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smallwhitecat · 10/09/2010 09:43

This reply has been deleted

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Curlybrunette · 10/09/2010 09:55

Hi comewhinewithme,

this must be so hard, I really feel for you. Have you spoken to your GP to rule out anything like an ear infection or the HV, they could go through your routine and maybe offer some advice.

It sounds as if you are giving your dd lots of attention, but still it could be a horrendous clingy phase which will thankfully pass before you know it.

How long has your dd been like this?

It sounds a bit daft but could you bring her pram or trike into the house and sit her in it and read some books to her while she's sat in it.

Have you tried the usual positive attention thing, you know where you could praise her for the slightest quiet 'good' thing she does and ignore her if she does something like hit you. Maybe give her a stern NO and then walk away for a few seconds.

Not sure if you should be working on the above quite yet until you've checked that she isn't poorly.

Sending big hugs
x

MrsBadger · 10/09/2010 09:57

go out more
if she likes the bath have you tried taking her swimming?

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Original poster

comewhinewithme · 10/09/2010 10:09

Ok we went to the GP's 2 weeks ago and she had her ears checked they were clear.

I am out all the time we have an hours walk every day because the school run takes 30 m ins each way and during the day we usually go to the shops/library/park.
I will give the swimming a go.
We also have a massive back garden which I sit in with her but as soon as we are back in she screams.

WRT teething her back teeth are coming through but the screaming is constant and every day so it can't just be teething.
If I hold her she is happy and smiling so she can't be in pain.

I have 5 other older dc and I have never seen anything like it obviously they have gone through clingy and grumpy phases but nothing like this.

I feel like she hates us all and don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Sorry if this is disjointed she is sat on my knee .

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Original poster

comewhinewithme · 10/09/2010 10:13

Sorry Curly you asked how long it had gone on for.
I would say from about six months when I started her on solids I'm not sure if there is a connection but that is when I can remember the constant crying.

My HV did a one year visit and did comment that she wasn't a very smiley baby and didn't make eye contact with her but she is like this with almost everyone except me :(.

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 10/09/2010 10:37

aha, 5 older dc... maybe she just wants attention
she might be a bit big to sling round the house, but how about a hipseat so you can hold her while you get on with stuff?

if it really does date from starting solids maybe food intolerances would be worth looking in to - perhaps cut wheat for a week and see what happens (don't cut dairy for such a wee one without hcp advice)

sliceoflife · 10/09/2010 10:37

Is she following you around because she is worried about loosing sight of you.

You have just moved house which must be unsettling for her.

Are you trying to get things done in the house?

I found mine would be like this until I sat still, then they would play happily amusing themselves until I got up or tried to do some house work, when the crying and whining started again.
Not much help I know, but it took me a while to work out what was going on with them. Then I decided to feel less guilt abut just sitting down and reading a paper or watching TV in the middle of the day and got my house work done in nap time or when the DCs were not around. We were all much less stressed and more chilled, but it took a bit of a culture shift for me who felt that as a SAHM
I should be busy all the time.

yawningmonster · 10/09/2010 10:56

comewhinewithme...
My ds is now almost 6 but was like this as an infant...he didn't stop screaming for the first 18months of his life and I almost went insane. I used to take photos of him when he was asleep just to prove to myself there was at least some time when he didn't seem miserable. I now have a 16mth old too and while she cannot hold a candle to her brother she has weeks on end when she is as you describe, dd is breastfed and to be honest I just stick her on constantly when she is like this so I can get some peace. I get out as much as possible and just keep focusing on the fact that it got better with ds and if it can get better with him then there is hope...

Curlybrunette · 10/09/2010 13:00

If it started when she started solids I would definately ask for food intolerance testing.

It seems strange she's fine in the garden but not happy in the house? Is it just your house or anyone's house? Has she got any little friends, does she cry if they come to play?

With regards to what the HV said about eye contact, is it worth looking further into that. Does your dd make eye contact with other people (her dad and siblings, friends?).

6 children OMG! You're a wonder women

Yanka · 10/09/2010 13:12

Hi there, unfortunately I have no help, just a lot of sympathy - my 13 months DS is exactly the same at the moment, nothing obviously physically wrong (and very happy/smily once being held or out on the trike). The crying only happens in the house when not held and especially if his older sister also tries to get some attention. We have only had this for the past week or so - I am hoping it's just a phase...

mooncupflowethover · 10/09/2010 18:57

Yes!! My 16 month DS is exactly the same. It drives me round the bend. I'm trying to get jobs done around the house and he follows me around wailing. I've tried everything to distract him, but unfortunately it only works for 5 mins, then he's back to wailing. He wants me to sit with him on my knee pretty much all day.

I have nothing useful to offer you other than my sympathy!

Here's hoping they grow out of it soon.

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