Help! Before we go mad, the correct thing to do with a chronically overtired 3yo is...?

[phdlife]

last week we had his first few night terrors.

then we had a couple of days where someone other than me was left to do naps, with the result that no naps were had.

now he's waking at 5am, coming into bed with either me or dh (we're sleeping apart atm because dh has been unwell and I'm wrangling dd), trying hard to get back to sleep but failing (keeping me awake in the process).

and then being an utter, utter little monster all morning because he's exhausted.

I am trying v hard to be calm cool and collected about it, but as 17m dd has also taken to waking two-hourly through the night I'm perhaps a little beastly testy myself.

Earier bedtime, maybe revert back to afternoon naps for a bit.

And if he comes in your bed, return him kindly, firmly and immediately to his own.

I guarantee that if Ds2 gets put in my bed for one night (ill, wet sheets, whatever) then he will wander in for 3 nights after that.

and on a related note -

most of his monstering revolves around incessant demands to watch.

my rule has been "not until 8:30" to a) limit what he watches and b) make sure there's suitable programming (we only have the 4 free channels).

but with the incessant whingeing interspersed with massive tantrums, that ends up feeling to me (and I suspect to him) like I'm finally caving to his demands, rather than a pre-set designation.

also now he wants to watch youtube instead of tv so the time thing becomes less relevant, except in keeping me sane(ish).

telling him "if you keep tantrumming you won't get to" or "you're not getting to because you've been tantrumming" only earns me more hours of whingeing and tantrumming.

I know there's an obvious answer, I'm just too fucking tired and fed up to think of it.

colditz he has a lunchtime nap. these are often up to 1.5-2hrs, but just at the moment he's only managing an hour.

also I don't mind him in my bed when he goes back to sleep, which is usually what happens. it's just this 5am bollocks that's not working.

my 3 yo would be told to go back to bed.

my children often fell asleep becuase there was simply nothing else to do.

as they got older i quote "if we go to sleep the morning comes and i can play"

so if it were me - kid would go to bed and told to stay there.

Yep - back into own bed. Door closed and instructions not to come out of room until told its morning.
If that doesn't work then return to own bed until it finally registers.

No TV/Computer screens. Books/paper&drawing implements only when light enough .

Boredom will see to the rest.

afternoon nap / quiet time. maybe with oven timer of similar as audible notice of end of Quiet time if they are awake.

I used to tell 3 yr old DS that it was 30 min QUIET time IN his room and if I heard him out of his room the timer would be reset for another 30 mins.

Return to own bed at 5am.

nightlight ? to make night terrors slightly less terrifying.

What time is he going to bed? It might actually be time to drop the nap if he's having trouble sleeping.