Mum desperately wants to buy DD (3) a laptop for Christmas, how do I justify saying no without upseting her?

[Bumperlicious]

She just mentioned today that she has seen a children's laptop and wants to buy one for 3 year old DD for Christmas. She knows I will probably say no. She got pretty upset last year when I vetoed her buying then 2 yo DD a children's portable DVD player (she bought her a life-sized doll instead - purely to punish me as I always joked about her buying one).

I promised DH and I would think about it before saying no. I tried telling her I think she is too young, what would she do on it anyway. I don't want her always in front of a screen. My mum says that technology is just going to be part of her life and I should just go with it, but I said I'd rather she did creative play, etc.

I don't know why my mum is so intent on buying her such grown up things ('but they're designed especially for young children').

I'm not wrong to say no am I? Is there a middle ground?

I'm not lentil weavery, I've let my mum buy all manner of crap for DD that I wouldn't necessarily chose for her, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I just think a laptop is really inappropriate for a 3 year old. She's got years of screen time ahead of her (she already watches too much TV), I'd like to put it off for as long as possible.

Thanks for the tips, I think I will offer some alternatives. One of my friends at my knitting group today also suggested a kiddies digital camera, I would be more comfortable with that I think.

I know she just wants to buy nice things for DD. She scrimped and saved to get us what we wanted as kids, and there were years where most of our presents were donated from the local church.

Thanks for the tips :)

That's ok Shiney, I can give you more stories to show how much of a crazy loon loving grandmother my mum is!

Seriously, I know she does it out of love, and I am lucky, some grandparents don't show an interest at all.

That lap top would just get broken by a 3 year old. However, my 3 year old has a vtech Thomas "laptop" - probably cost £30 or £40 (guessing) which he loves.

Please don't assume this IS age inappropriate. Our DS (3) uses a laptop all the time, because we got a little fed up with him using ours-he likes Paint (with a mouse) and is interested in how to write words, but can't hold pencils yet, so likes it because he can type out his own name and some other words he knows. He also uses it to choose how to spend his screentime with the CBeebies iplayer and to search for different pictures of what interests him online, all of which is actually more interactive than standard TV time. Perhaps if this is just about practicality then go for something cheap and second hand where damage isn't critical(his is just one from 1997 we found in the attic when we bought the house)-computing power for internet and MS Office is minimal.

Sympathies with Afflenza suffering Ps and PILs though, very irritating. If you don't want stuff bought then say 'no', you'll never hide the fact you're not using it and in our case the mopre expensive it was the worse any lack of use was perceived to be.

Agree with earlier poster who said ask for the ipad!

Feel terrible for 'all his time', and for making him out to be some sort of spelling freak. I'm not that awful-just meant it's one of his toys we get use out of, unlike many that are 'age appropriate', and which has the advantage of easy rationing (he can turn it on but nothing else-yet).
Would really urge you to think about the joys and flexibilities of a proper cheap laptop-not the limited kiddies versions which are really just games machines. DS1 spent an hour or so a month ago looking at pictures of buses online, talking about which ones he liked, where they went (Germany, IKEA, Tesco and Gandma's) which ones went where, where he'd sit, which one his brother could have etc. It was just as creative as when he gets in the fake lorry at the park and drives it to the same places, or pushes a physical toy bus around-essentially his imagination at work from limited objects.
Perhaps if you thought about what you might do and not do, talked to his Grandma about how you would want to use it, and asked her not to buy something unnecessary beyond that, some compromise could be reached. It can be fun, is useful in terms of understanding real stuff not toys, and it would be financially free!

you could send her this link which says it's suitable for age 6-12! And suggest something more age appropriate like the Dora one.

My MIL is always buying DD things that are way too old for her - last time she was here she randomly bought her a proper bike - she's 2.5 and it's way too big for her, so she was frustrated that she couldn't ride it properly and had a tantrum, then by the time she is big enough for it, it will have been gathering dust in the shed for 2 years so won't feel special or new.