Older First Time Parents

[Sammid]

Can anyone help me. I found out I was pregnant at 43 and have 8 weeks to go. My husband is 57 and this is all a bit of shock for both of us. I am terrified and would be grateful for any advice, support groups people may know of.

Thanks

Congratulations!

I don't know of any support groups, but mumsnet is a kind of support group. I certainly found it very useful for bits of advice and support when dd was young, and still.

I can't think that support or advice you need will be much different from the support any first time parents need.

I think possibly as an older first time mum (I was 38)I was more set in my ways so it may have been more of a shock to the system and more of a change. But I have no way of really knowing that.

It can be physically quite demanding at times and I suppose you cope with that aspect better with a younger body.

However, there are advantages as well. I'm calmer, I'm more sure of myself, I have more resources, and my lifestyle is more sedate.

Having been a bit ambivalent about having children, my dd arrived and for a while I thought 'wtf have I done?' and that I wouldn't cope. But now (she is a toddler) I can honestly say that she is the most amazing and wonderful addition to my life and I'm so glad that I have her, I can't really put it into words.

I'm just trying to say that it will be hard at first, but very much worth it. Good luck.

Congratulations! I had DS1 earlier this year at 39, DH is 46. Takes a bit of time to adjust (all those years sleeping a lot!) but it is brilliant! My much younger sister also had her first baby at the same time and I would say we have gone through almost identical things so not sure that age really makes much difference.

Having said that, there is a specific forum here but I never really used it so don't know how good it is.

I had my son when I was 40. There is a whole thread of us older mums, although not all first timers.

Forty Towers!!

Come join us!!

Hi - congratulations!! My DH and I adopted our beloved DS last year, after about 10 years of waiting for a child, at 46 (me) and 56 (him). My DH is a stay at home dad and I am back at work after 8 months leave. We love it, and agree it is the best thing that has ever happened to us in our lives so far.

It is hard work and there is no doubt at all that the physical bit of carrying a toddler, sleepless nights etc is hard when you are older. It is a huge shock at first even though it was something we wanted so much, worked so hard for, and waited so long for. I did wonder sometimes (typically at 4 in the morning after many nights of no sleep) what on earth I had done.

But I think it is a shock to everyone at every age. Keep that in mind if it is hard - it is not necessarily your age, just that beng a parent is hard.

But when you are older I think you are more likely have a settled life and relationship, know you have 'done it all', worked out your career choices, be willing to ask for help, and are also really able to appreciate the amazingly wonderful experience that being a parent involves. I think you should just worry about all the things parents worry about and try and forget age.

So congratulations again and I am sure you will enjoy being 'mum and dad' as much as we do despite our grey hair and our aches and pains.

Hi Everyone,

Just to let you know se had a baby boy at the beginning. Like you all said a huge shock to the system but well worth it.

Thanks again for your help

beginning of November that is meant to say.

Congratulations.

congratulations! hope you are doing ok ....

Congratulations Sammid - hope you are enjoying it!