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help for new stay at home dad

11 replies

woodford · 09/09/2010 18:08

Hi, my brother in law was recently made redundant so he and my sister have swapped roles. He is really struggling (8 month old baby not sleeping during day, he doesn't get out much) but he is asking for help. Does anyone have any hints or tips? I have discussed with him the various things I did when I chose not to return to work after my maternity leave. However, I don't want to come across too "preachy". Any advice would be welcome.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Curlybrunette · 09/09/2010 20:46

Hi woodford,

the main advice I would give any parent with a little one is to get out of the house.

Cabin fever hits so easily, especially when you have a baby that doesn't sleep easily. Even if it just a walk in the morning and a trip to the shops in the afternoon, though of course visiting a play group or soft play centre could be a better way to meet other parents.

x

Original poster
woodford · 09/09/2010 23:39

Thanks for that Curlybrunette, much appreciated.

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lifeas3plus1 · 10/09/2010 00:39

Swimming! Especially in the morning.

Will get your BIL and baby out of the house for a couple hours, back home for lunch by which point the baby should be well tired enough for a nap.

At that age my ds used to sleep for around 3 1/2 hours after swimming. It was heaven. Used to take him twice a week. Lol.

Also as curlybrunette suggested, toddler groups/soft play/rhyme time etc. For a baby who doesn't sleep during the day I would recommend to your BIL that he tries to do as many of these things in the morning then have lunch by which point hopefuly baby will get into a routine of having an afternoon nap.

This then gives BIL time for housework/coffee/tv/computer etc.

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ClimberChick · 10/09/2010 04:33

My DH (who has just become a SAHD to a 6 month DD) says "Do no housework", just look after the baby.

He does groups three mornings a week including swimming, but she doesn't sleep any longer (normally only 30mins at a time). She is also going through a not sleeping in the day phase.

He says any questions he'll be happy to answer

NickOfTime · 10/09/2010 06:22

get out, get out, get out, get out.

and yes, swimming fab.

dd1 didn't nap until she was a year old...

he does need to make some acquaintances - it can be tricky as a sahd, but still essential for sanity, so he needs to man up and hit the nct/ baby groups trail until he finds one he's comfortable with - then he can branch out to garden centre coffee shops (humidity also good to air-cosh encourage babies to sleep) and starbucks/ soft play.

baby massage class?

Amanda82 · 10/09/2010 06:36

Best bit of advice I reckon, is it doesn't last for ever only feels that way!
My youngest wouldn't sleep in cot during day at one stage so took her out in pram twice a day till she went to sleep no other way for it.Sad
Yes swimming, but than can be a bit challenging dressing undressing, at least I found that so & I've got 4.Confused
Find local parent toddler group, try some of the church ones there's always loads off welcome granny substitutes with open arms dieing to hold the baby.(plus they love dadsWink)
Music /song groups you all look stupid singing the wheels on the bus so no pressure.
Also keep a sense of humour!Grin

fryalot · 10/09/2010 06:57

children's centres always have loads of stuff going on for kids and dads are always made welcome (well, they are at my local one anyway)

chimchar · 10/09/2010 07:08

i think that life as a sah parent is what you make it. i was really lonely and miserable when my dc1 was a baby....until i started getting out and about. he only needs to make a friend or two, which means that as well as going to groups, swimming etc by himself (and the baby obviously!!) he can call on someone for coffee, or to go out for a long walk or whatever...

about the sleeping...none of my kids ever napped for longer than 20 minutes...its hard work. maybe by getting out and about, and maybe having some kind of routine (up, food, out, home, lunch, quiet time etc...) the baby will feel more like a snooze.

good luck to him!!

BelfastBloke · 10/09/2010 07:35

Is he around London?

Might be worth travelling to this group, Dads and Littleuns

Here's an article

Orissiah · 10/09/2010 10:15

Woodford - yes, lots of activities in the morning especially are good to get out of the house.

Many babies sleep badly during the day. Eventually most sleep better after 12 months or give up on naps altogether and simply sleep better at night. I would say take baby out in pram or car during naptimes or get an automatic swing eg Graco swing to encourage baby to nap. Do whatever it takes. Eventually children stop napping so napping in cot shouldn't have to be necessary (only at night).

Original poster
woodford · 10/09/2010 13:53

omg, thanks so much for ALL your great suggestions, will pass these on and thanks again!

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