Those scary newborn thoughts

[ItWasADarkAndStormyNight]

You know the ones, seeing yourself dropping them, squashing them etc? I thought they were meant to go away but I still have them constantly, just want to check if its normal? I have had mental health problems in the past so just want to know if it's my anxiety or if its normal.
Wonder as well if it's because I'm trying attatchment parenting, co sleeping and all. I constantly see myself dropping him, elbowing him in the face crushing him in bed, standing on him when I leave him on the changing mat, I just see it happening in my head and it scares the hell out of me. I know people get them when thier dc are newborns, is it just me 5 months on?

They're intrusive thoughts - common after you have a baby, but people get them at any time. Doesn't mean you have a mental health problem, but obviously if you're getting really anxious then that could lead to that. Do you have anyone to talk to in real life?

I find the best thing to do with intrusive thoughts is embrace them (sounds odd but bear with me) - just think them and stop trying to squish them down. What often happens is when you stop trying to repress them and recognise them as normal, they actually diminish. So as an experiment if I said "don't think about a pink dog" - you'd probably do the exact opposite, the more you try not to think about something, the more you do.

Hope that makes sense and you're OK :)

It's normal to get them early on, it's a big responsibility to come to terms with. I would be a little more concerned if you are constantly having them 5 months on. Sounds like you are pretty anxious. Pretty soon you have to let go of the thoughts because if you let yourself contemplate all of the things that might happen to DS you will drive yourself demented.

I don't have any advice on how to tackle it though. Hopefully someone else will have some good advice.

I still have them occasionally and ds is 7months old. I think it's quite a normal reaction to the responsability. I just see the "what if" play out in my minds eye for a second. I just notice it and then it goes away. I think as long as it isn't ruling your life or worrying you too much it's probably fine. Your minds way of reminding you of the potential dangers so you can keep your lo safe.

I recall ages ago someone saying their mil had asked if they'd had the "throwing the baby out the window moment". She wasn't suggesting her dil actually would throw the baby out of the window, just acknowledging that scary feeling you have when you litterally hold a life in your hands.

Now only you know your medical history and self well enough to know it's ok, but i don't think you sound abnormal to me. Hth

So pleased to read this, i had never heard of this and i have been having a few similar thoughts. I thought i was crazy or weird i had no idea this was normal!!!

I have pictured me dropping her or family members dropping her on concrete, oh and her choking! they really scare me so much.

I think it's one of those secretly common things that no one talks about. It is worth keeping an eye on (i have a friend for whom this developed in to panic attacks, pnd, etc) and there is a rare form of post natal psychosis i believe, though i don't really know about it (just heard on radio four) but the level op describes sounds familiar to me.

When DD was a couple of days old it suddenly occured to me 'what if I got angry and hurt her'. I didn't feel angry, I just suddenly thought 'what if'. I mentionned this to my midwife hoping she would say that was normal. She arranged (to my shock) for me to talk to mental health. Mental health spoke through everything, then said this was totally normal and almost everyone has these thoughts at some point and not to worry.

Hope this helps. You may or may not feel that talking to someone would be helpful.

Take care

KAty

Thanks, I've had problems with panic attacks in the past and have been feeling pretty panicky lately.
Get really stressed about carrying him upstairs, can see him falling, for some reason I had the idea I should carry him up in the carseat to protect him, that sounds so stupid!

Itwas, i can see the logic in wanting to carry him upstairs in the car seat, but beware the slippery slope! One minute he's in the car seat, the next he's like a giant snowball from all the cotton wool! i'm not saying anything here you wont have thought of before, and don't mean to make light of the situation too much, but you've got five months stair-baby-carrying experience under your belt now and deserve to trust yourself. Maybe speak to your gp about the panicy ness? Or are there techniques you have used previously that would work for you now? Can you have a little break from your ds? I even find taking the dog out for an hour with no baby makes a huge difference to me, i feel all round calmer. Personaly i can do without a bit of sleep (though dh can't) but if i miss a meal my world falls apart! After the newborn stage every one stops reminding you to look after yourself, but it's still important.

Yeah the car seat thing started a few weeks ago.
Good point, h moved out when ds was a few weeks old and we've split up so think I've just been adjusting to that.
Could probably do with a bit of time to myself

You've had a lot to get your head round in the past few months then. Go easy on yourself. Do you have someone who can watch the little one for a while? You could try the local childrens centre, my friend who is single with no family local gets some help like this from hers, it saves her sanity! They are there to help in whatever way they can.

I still have this 5 months on too! All the time. I am sure it's a normal result of being in charge of a tiny person/sleep deprivation.

I still have these mad thoughts and DD's 2 years old!

DD is nearly 5wks and I am hugely nervous of doing 'something' by accident...I also have to check she is still breathing every 15 mins when she's asleep!

DH is much better/calmer with her.