Some questions about playdates

[mixedmamameansbusiness]

DS1 has just started reception and I imagine that going forward playdates and birthday parties will start coming up.

At what age is it appropriate that they get dropped off and picked up at parties, rather than us staying?

Same really with play dates if we invite another child should i be inviting mum/dad too?

And, how do i ensure that get to know the parents well enough that he can eventually go by himself.

I am comfortable talking to people but just dont really know how to get past general chit chat.

This is a minefield; the first time my DS (aged 3) was invited to a party by a 'new' nursery school friend I assumed it was the 'done thing' to leave him so I merrily waved goodbye and looked forward to a couple of hours free time, my DS was more than happy to be left but judging from other mums' reactions it wasn't quite the done thing . Equally I have had parents stay up until my son's 7th birthday party as their own child was not confident to be left. It really depends on the child.

Keep going with the general chit chat, that's how you develop friendships. Invite a friend home from school, its up to you if you want the parent as well.

Thanks Ragwort, I guess we just have to play it by ear and see how it goes.

Parties - I found that parents tended to stay in the first term of reception, gradually more and more dropping off and leaving as the year progressed. By Y1 the majority of parents didn't stay unless good friends or had travelled ome distnce. Many at the start of reception used the party as a way of getting to know one another IME.

Playdates - DD went on her own from day one of reception. She was collected from school by the parent and I collected at the agreed time, normally after tea around 5:30-6pm. I knew the parents from school run only, but at some point you have to let go a little. I didn't invite parens for a play date either, but di invite them in for a drink when they came to collect.

Parties - exactly as Hula said.

Playdates - I offered to collect from school but also invited the parent to pop round for a drink to drop off if they wished so that they knew we weren't mad axe murderers.

We tended to do 'and mum/parent too' playdates in Reception ... not least because it gave the mums a chance to get to know each other too.

We gave the first party where we explicitly didn't expect parents to stay when ds was 5 - but for lots of the 5 yo parties early in the academic year, at least a handful of mums stayed.

that said, our class parents get on pretty well, so when ds had his 6th party, a group of 7 or so mums sat quietly in the corner with tea and cake and gossiped (nothing to do with the kids needing support at that stage)

I guess we just see how it goes and judge as we get to know the parents and the children. I just never ever remember my mum coming with me anywhere.