How much do children cost?

[Ryuk]

FIL said a couple of days ago he doesn't think I realise 'how much it costs to keep a child'.

I'm guessing age makes a difference, but even so, is it more than it costs to keep an adult going? Where exactly does the money go? I'm half thinking 'it can't be that bad' and half wondering if when sprog is born our bank will suddenly drain itself. FIL seems convinced of the latter.

private school for 15 years at £8K plus everything else. i reckon 160k -200k before they leave home depending on schooling.

A baby if breastfeeding, very little...just nappies/and a few basics, including pram/car seat (mainly one-off expenses that can see you through more babies )

We have 2 toddlers and our food budget has stayed the same as when it was just the 2 of us. But I dread to think what it will be with hungry teenagers in the house!!
Clothes need buying each season as they grow quickly, but obviously you can get all the basics reasonably cheaply. I find gp's but gifts of nice clothes. Shoes are the biggest money out going here..they need a new pair every 8-12 wks or something at 30 odd pound a pair

Then childcare if you plan/need to go back to work. I live in a relatively cheap area and it costs 26 pounds per child 0830-1600, 6 pounds an hr for extra. So I pay 70 pounds a day for 2 children And if you plan to be a SAHM you need to have quite a good salary coming in from dh/dp.

As for private schooling, that's obviously a very personal thing for people and not a neccesity.

You can spend thousands on pushchairs and other equipment, but you don't need to. My DD always had too many clothes. They don't need as many toys as we all think they do. Shoes were my biggest expense at primary school and the school uniform costs for a state secondary are staggering!

Childcare can be expensive, ours (full time) costs more than our mortgage!

Our biggest cost has not been stuff for the kids themselves, but the resulting drop in income due to me going part time, and then the childcare when I am at work.

Also, we're planning dc3 and that will mean a new bigger car.

It's the massive lifestyle change that costs the most money ime, not nappies, food, clothes etc

The biggest cost will be loss of income (usually maternal income) and relative lack of progression in payscale compared to a childless woman/or a man, with children or not.

Childcare (quite rightly, people need to be paid) costs a bomb. If you have family who can do it for nothing, you can recoup some of the salary loss.

Other than that, they're not that expensive, and people are usually delighted to pass on clothes, freecycle old baby furniture etc. If you decide that you won't have hand-me-downs, your baby must wear Burberry , and you need 47 prams (hun) then you will find it pricey.

I can get by with spending very little day to day on DS now (he's nearly three). Clothes and shoes aren't that expensive if you know where to look and even though he eats a lot, it's not that much more than feeding two people.

However, my salary is significantly lower now than before I had him as I'm now part time. I was also a manager before I had DS but had to take a step down in order to become part time. If I hadn't had DS I'd probably be further up the career ladder and earning a lot more.

We've just bought a new house as well as the two-bed that we are in is getting a bit snug with the three of us!

And yeah, childcare costs a bomb.

It's not the stuff that kids need that's expensive, it's the impact on your lifestyle of going from a couple to a family.

I agree that the biggest 'cost' has been me going part-time and the CM fees for the days I do work. We also replaced our car so we had a bigger boot.

We buy lots of stuff off eBay or gumtree and also look on freecycle. GPs bought the car seat, buggy (£125 Quinny Zapp) and the cotbed. We've reused furniture elsewhere in the house to furnish her room so not bought much there either.

TBH, you don't need to spend a lot when they're little, you can but you don't have to.

None of those estimates you read in the papers have ever applied to us- simply because we don't earn that much. And we are not particularly poor. Which leads me to the conclusion that most people must manage to bring up their offspring on considerably less than we do. A lot of the fun in life is free- and even more so with a baby!

Yes childcare and/or loss of earnings is the biggest expense. Car seat, pushchair, cot are the big upfront costs (but prices vary hugely). And shoes if you get Clarkes ones.

Apart from that day to day I've found they're not too expensive. We don't go out drinking/eating out as much as we did before kids so we spend less money there.

We were kindly given loads of new and second hand clothes when they were born so we didn't have to spend much on clothes when they were little.

I think I worked out a while ago that DS cost me just over £125 a month. That's on basics, and the biggest factor was nappies. They charge you more as the sizes get bigger and you get less in a pack

I'm breastfeeding, so probably saving a lot there. Solid food wise, I batch cook for two weeks, and then there is breakfast and lunch, plus snacks. There's normally something clothes wise he needs every couple of weeks (normally socks as he's very good at chucking them out of the buggy before I notice).

There are the big costs (car seat, buggy, cot) but even they don't have to be too big. Friday Ad is your friend! Clothing, second hand is the way to go as they out grow it all so quickly.

They do cost rather a lot, and you don't realise until they're here - but I think you kind of exchange money you would have otherwise spent on socialising on them instead.

Tell your FIl to butt out, by the way!

I still have my spreadsheet (yes, I am that anal) of what I wanted whilst pg with DD1. I then set myself a budget and could not go over it. Below is the list of stuff on the spreadsheet and it cost £755 with some very savvy shopping.

A few things were NCT sales, ebay etc but tried to spend the money where I would 'feel' it if you know what I mean. So I knew the moses basket wouldn't be used for very long so got cheap ebay one, knew I'd be pushing the buggy forever so bought exactly what I wanted.

Maxi Cosi Car Seat
Maclaren Pushchair
Manual Breast Pump
Muslin Squares
Microwave Steriliser
Cot
Cot Mattress
Baby Monitor
Moses Basket
Washable Nappies
Changing Bag
Bedding
Baby Towels
Maclaren Footmuff
Buggy Raincover
Grobag Room Thermometer
Baby Bouncer Chair
Playmat Gym
Dummies
Car rear view baby mirror
Baby Carrier/sling
Baby bath support
Nursey furniture
Blackout blind

I meant to add that we don't find the on-going cost of having kids too much, but then we're not into the realms of school uniform and trips yet.

We try to be ahead of the game, anticipate (as best we can) what we will need and start shopping around for the cheapest. Eg. Buy winter tog sleeping bags in the summer when they are on specail offer etc.

Doesn't have to cost that much - you can get things second hand or for not much but it's the loss of the second income that really hits. Part time work is often poorly paid and childcare is really expensive.

The biggest eye opener for me was going on a foreign holiday and realising that the 2yo and 3yo cost 80% of adult price for flights, accommodation etc. After that we started camping

Agree for little ones childcare and stopping/reducing work is the biggest cost, plus a gradual increase in other bills as they get bigger and need more clothes/equipment/bedrooms/food/activities.

I read a book that said most parents spend around £9,000 in their child's first year. And I have vague recollections of reading £100-150k over the child's lifetime, but I've no idea whether that's right or not.

NCT sales are great, as is Freecycle - I worked out that we got nearly £3,000 worth of stuff from Freecycle (that would have been the cost if buying new, which obviously things weren't.)

Extending the house as we decided we wanted an extra bedroom is probably our biggist cost. Also my drop in earnings and childcare

Costed at £200k each until they're 21; guardian, telegraph, bbc and datasheet. I can see how it would be possible to spend £16 a week per person on food. I now spend over £30 a week just on fresh fruit, bread, milk etc. for my 1yo and my 4yo, and I don't get branded, I get only what's in season etc. However, these sums assume a figure of about £629 per child per year for holidays. So that?s assuming a holiday every year, paying £629 each time per child. If I?m not using my Tesco clubcard vouchers (or friends do the newspaper holidays) and we spend actual money my TOTAL holiday cost doesn?t come anywhere near that, and we don?t go every year. Also, babysitting £44 a month, every month, for 21 years? Please! As for paying for driving lessons, first car, university etc. Yeah right. I had debt up to my eyeballs after uni. (and still do) as my parents certainly didn?t have the spare cash to pay for that!

But, OP, when baby is born, your bank will not suddenly drain itself unless you buy lots of expensive things. You don?t need everything the stores advertise as necessity at all; breast feed if you can, use cloth nappies and you?ll hardly notice the day-to-day cost, once you have the cot, car seat and a few basic items.

I liked LeslieWinkle?s list, but IMO it?s not all necessary. I would say ?
Car Seat (need)
Pushchair (need, a travel system is a great option they usually have car seat, buggy and accessories included)
Breast Pump (only need if going back to work and want to express, plus nursing bras and breast pads, cloth ones are much nicer, don?t stick to your nipples the way paper ones do)
Muslin Squares (need)
Microwave Steriliser (don?t need)
Cot (need)
Cot Mattress (need)
Baby Monitor (don?t need)
Moses Basket (don?t need if you have a cot, but is nice to have)
Washable Nappies (definitely the best idea!)
Changing Bag (a cheap rucksack will do)
Bedding (need, but get single non-fitted sheets for cot and tuck them under, so will last for years)
Baby Towels (ordinary hand towels will do, and when they grow out of them as bath towels, they are great as you get through loads of hand towels making them wash their hands when they?re potty training)
Buggy Footmuff (get a travel system so all comes with the buggy)
Buggy Raincover(get a travel system so all comes with the buggy)
Room Thermometer (don?t need)
Baby Bouncer Chair (yes, need, very handy)
Playmat Gym (yes, need, very handy)
Dummies (not all babies, don?t buy until you?ve had your baby ? DS didn?t need them, DD does)
Car rear view baby mirror (LeslieWinkle Really?)
Baby Carrier/sling (if you have a buggy, probably don?t need)
Baby bath support (Again LeslieWinkle, really?)
Nursery furniture (Beyond a cot, baby only needs ordinary bedroom furniture, something they can grow into, just a wardrobe and chest of drawers, nothing fancy)
Blackout blind (Never got one for mine, as a friend of mine, years ago, when she went to other people?s houses her children wouldn?t sleep unless it was absolutely dark, mine have ordinary lined curtains)
Have to say, the car rear view baby mirror and baby bath support, to me, seem like one of those gimmicks that play on the safety fear ? what if baby undoes him/herself while you are driving and you can?t see him/her () or what if they slip under the water while in the baby (er .. you hold them, so they don?t!) and the thermometers, apart from the body thermometer for when they?re sick, I couldn?t see the point of. If you feel hot, so will they, if you feel cold, so will they!

But, it is all personal, and I am prepared to be contradicted, but as I said, it?s IMO!

Some more ideas about what you?d need here: nhs, growingkids and babycentre. But you really don?t need everything you see in Mothercare!

I think LeslieWinkle is right, planning ahead is a good way to (a) know what you need/want and (b) being able to afford it. Clear out your loft in plenty of time, get some boxes from a supermarket for storage, then check out NCT sales, keep an eye on freecycle,and ask work colleagues (and get DH to do the same) if they know of anyone passing on unwanted clothes and/or baby items, and don?t ever turn anything down. If you don?t want it, then pass it on to someone else.

Having a baby need only be as expensive as you want it to be and I guess it will be the same when they?re older. It comes down to the simple fact, you spend what you have, and when you need to buy things for the children, you will.

Sorry, a rather long ramble there! I?ll probably kill this thread now!

I think they cost as little or as much as the parents want them too!

Thanks for all the responses. It might sound stupid but I've found them very reassuring!

So far: I'm planning on breastfeeding, we're being given a load of completely unused cloth nappies from a relative, have been given a cot from a friend, a pram/pushchair thing from another relative, PIL are talking about getting us a carseat, and various friends and family keep offering baby clothes.

As they get older I'm expecting utility bills to go up, uniforms to be required, but my parents brought me up on a very small budget (was given the idea when little that charity shops are ideal places to get clothes and dressup jewellery from, for example) so I hope to not feel the need to succumb to £50 toys etc.

Drop in income has been accounted for, and will be a bit of an issue but should be manageable.

Overall... maybe FIL is just overly concerned.

Agree with the others, little ones don't cost too much, but costs go up as they get older.

Holidays are much more expenisve, cost of car can be more if you need a bigger car, out of school activities are expensive. But at the end of the day it is all down to your budget.

Accepting hand me down clothes and baby stuff is a great way to save. Camping holidays are cheap.

Smile sweetly at FIL and charge him every time he wants a cuddle from the baby.

Sorry, I've not been back to this thread earlier. MrsThePoint, you are absolutely right, lots of the things on my list are absolutely unnecessary.

Though it wasn't a list of what you should get, just a list of what I got and how much it cost us to give an idea of how much you can buy with your money if you buy carefully and thoughtfully.

There are loads of things on that list I could have easily done without, though actually the bath support wasn't one of them . I have a dodgy arm and can't hold baby with one arm for any length or time making bathing quite tricky. The thing is to work out your budget and stick to it, its fine to blow £50 on something you really wanted if its in budget and you can afford it. I saved money where I could and used the saved money to go towards things that were 'extras'.

The rearview car mirrors are just for my own piece of mind, I do a lot of motorway driving on my own with the girls and I like to be able to see them, and my older one talks to me through the mirrors now as she has realised that she can see my eyes in my mirror IYSWIM.

do they not run a free reusable nappies scheme where you are boobs ? Check out your council website.

they sometimes come up on freecycle (though tend to get claimed very fast)

of course, washing them is a bit of a pain.

my current baby has cost almost nothing....apart from an increase in water use, washing powder, and leccy (much more washing with a newborn and crap weather for drying clothes & nappies)

the other two are pretty cheap to feed, and i get free childcare (or will, when i return to work)

teenagers i think would be much more expensive as clothing from freecycle would probably be rejected with force.

Maxi Cosi Car Seat
Maclaren Tescos Pushchair £18 - Bertini big pushchair £50 ebay - travel system - £20
Manual Breast Pump handexpressing works much better for me.
Muslin Squares
Microwave Steriliser
Cot - ebay £20
Cot Mattress - ebay £20
Baby Monitor if i wanted to hear the baby, i'd already be in the same room...
Moses Basket - hand me down - free
Washable Nappies - free from local council.
Changing Bag - same (THOUGH UNUSED)
Bedding - hand me down
Baby Towels
Maclaren Footmuff - hand me down
Buggy Raincover - ebay £7
Grobag Room Thermometer
Baby Bouncer Chair
Playmat Gym - hand me down
Dummies
Car rear view baby mirror
Baby Carrier/sling - ebay £7
Baby bath support
Nursey furniture - DH is building it. cost £100 so far - if we had a larger room, we could have done it cheaper from ebay. it all has to be custom-made and the materials aren't free..
Blackout blind - B&Q £15

TOTAL £161 Though i got more nappies anyway making it more like £200...though all this stuff is now on its third baby..