at what age do your DC arrange their own playdates?

[atah]

my DS is 9 if he wants a friend over he will ask me to call the mum to arrange a playdate - even though he has just spent the whole day at school with the friend.

Shouldn't he be arranging this himself, he is totally aware of when he is free - and when I am - perhaps he needs to confirm it with me,but sureley he can do the rest himself.

Or am I expecting too much? what do your DC's do?

when they are old enough to drive themselves there and back

or cook tea for their guest

I agree with the inviting without checking cat I suppose what I really mean is initiate it with the other kid/invite them/suggest it and work out possible dates around clubs etc, then both can check with parents if it works for us.

surely we are only a year or 2 away from them having phones and making their own arrangments?

my DS will be very lonely if he has to wait until HE can cook tea kristina

ds1 () just has people call for him, and then asks if he can go out.
He will sometimes say "X is going to call", but if we aren't going to be there then the door won't get answered.

that should have been (7y).

Only works with friends in immediate area though.

thats when DD can arrange her own playdates

until then she has to liaise with me as i provide the taxi and catering services

and no, they are not lonely. we had skating last weekend, two playdates after school this week and another skating trip the weekend

dd age 8 - very local friends tend to bang on the door, I tell them to go away (politely, of course) if it isn't convenient to me - dd tells them to go away (not at all politely, generally) if she doesn't feel like playing.

After school she will often say 'can I go to X's house' or 'can X come round' and parents say yes or no depending on circs. She's also perfectly able to phone her friend a few streets away to see if she can come over.

So I guess the age for me is when they don't need taking/fetching.

I don't provide meals in general except for pre arranged things (which generally would be if the 'playdate' was actually childcare for the other parent), usually the children go home at dinner time, works well as then there's time for tidy up/wind down before bed. Weekends if a friend was round at lunchtime that would be different but they'd just have to eat what we were having, no specials!

thanks everyone, it seems I am expecting too much and generally getting about 4 years ahead of myself!
kristina I meant MY DS would be lonely if he could only have friends round when he is able to cook - I think we are about 10 years away from that
I have resigned myself to a few more years of phoning parents on his behalf, it was very diferent when I was growing up in a small town and we just knocked on each others doors - aaah the good old days!

I don't think you're expecting too much tbh. I think by 9 a child can make their own arrangements and just make sure (with both mums) that it's ok. My dd is 9 and her best friend phones dd to ask her to come round and we just sort of have a background conversation to arrange the day/time.