I dislike one of ds's friends and don't want them to play together. What can I do without actually explaining this to the parents?

[ThisMyName]

Namechanged just in case...

DS has a friend at school, and they get on all right, but not briliantly imo. (aged 6ish)

This child is pretty unrelenting in that he ALWAYS demands that ds play with him after school, or that he comes to our house. I won't be dictated to by a 6 year old so I usually refuse but have to allow it sometimes as he is ds's friend after all.

He demands everything. If he comes to visit, he demands food then turns his nose up at what I offer him. Obviously I will give a kid a snack and don't grudge that at all, but he treats me like a servant ("Cut the skin OFF this kiwi fruit PLEASE"). His voice has started to make me wince tbh. I am not shy to tell him to have some manners but at the same time - WTF?

I don't want him around, and I don't really want ds spending time with him either. (He's a verrrrrry negative child in general.) I don't like being shouted at on the way home from school to allow him to come to my house, and I don't like an explanation being demanded of me when I say no. Obviously we have other things to do some days, other people to play with too (as would he, if his parents got their act together, but they don't) but it's the feeling of having to account for my actions to a child that pushes my buttons.

So....what would you do in this situation? Carry on keeping the boundaries as they are? Say something to the parents? I don't want a regular thing with them, they make me uncomfortable.

Do you know the parents? Do they know he is spending time at your house? I would say something to them TBH along the lines of 'DS likes having him over to play but it's not always convenient as we have lots of other things on as well so could we limit it to once a week / fortnight and plan it in advance?'

He does sound very annoying...

Ignore politely. Have a similar situation with one of DD's friends whose voice is like fingernails down a blackboard. We always know if it's her at the door because she presses the bell at least 16 times, that gives me enough time to take a deep breath and apply fake smile before inventing some excuse as to why dd can't play out.

It is working, so far...

Yes, they are at the school gate and hear him demanding!
I think they would wistfully like to have the sort of household where there are kids in and out all the time so they don't mind either way. Possibly they don't see him as shouty and demanding, they are quite loud themselves. I would love them to tell their son it is just RUDE to say "WHY CAN'T I come round? You're mean. I WANT to come round to

In that case ThisMyName it sounds like they are willingly allowing it to continue as they know you provide safe free childcare (and food) to their DS so they can get on with other things

I'd be really firm just say 'no, it's not convenient for us' - you don't have to explain yourself to a 6yo boy. I feel for you though, it sounds awkward.

Well to be fair they are happy to have ds as well, and would probably have him a lot more often than I allow.

I just don't like the family , their older kids are unsympathetic as well.

I feel like such a twit just saying 'No" if we don't have other plans but I do not want ds and this kid playing together when they've nothing else on.

just stand firm and as novicemama says, tell him "no, it's not inconvenient." or even say soemthing like, "tell you what, when i have a free afternoon i will arrange with your mum/dad for you to come over." if he still insists after that then tell him if he is going to whinge you wont arrange anything at all.

Hmmm. You could adjust his behavior in your house when he does come round so that he is more bearable.

You do this by snapping "DO NOT speak to me rudely. In this house, everyone is polite. You will be polite too or you will have to go home. Now, the polite way to ask is "Will you please peel my Kiwifruit, Ds'sMummy?" now you say it like that and I might do it."

You must have their phone number? Send a text saying

"Would be grateful if you could explain to [boy's name] that he really can't ask to play with ds every day after school. Makes me feel bad when I have to say no. Many thanks. Booy."