DD1 (12) extremely low, is this hormones or something more?

[PurpleLostPrincess]

I'm getting a bit concerned about DD1 and I'm not sure if it's just hormones or not. She's been on the brink of having her period for over a year now and seems to be developing at a steady rate. She keeps coming to me in the evenings either crying, or saying she feels like crying but can't. She insists she isn't worried about anything and seems to be getting frustrated with herself for not having a reason for feeling this way. I remember being very emotional before I got my period, but I don't remember it going on for this long - it's been around 2 weeks or so.

She's been very sensitive, but not in an ungrateful way, more of a disappointed way: on her birthday she got really upset because most of her friends were away on holidays. Also, she came home from her dads in the middle of the night because she couldn't stop crying. She said her birthday had been disappointing, but at the same time she didn't want me to think she was ungrateful. She was treated like a princess all day, so I think it was just a part of getting older, I remember feeling like that when I started my teens.

She has now told me she wants to see her dad, but she doesn't want to stay over anymore, but she doesn't want me to tell him as she is worried it sounds mean...

I'm going to make sure I speak with him about this, we all get on really well so I'm sure it won't be a problem. He would rather she was honest, and would never want her to stay if she was uncomfortable.

I feel a bit stuck, any ideas?

TIA

Maybe she's feeling a bit sensitive about her growing body and he's doing a typical daddish "Just a little girl" thing and not respecting her privacy properly?

Thanks Colditz, I did wonder if that was it but he's always been quite respectful, although he's the type to joke around about things which can embarass her sometimes!

She admitted to me this week that she doesn't like being anywhere but her own bed - we went to my parents caravan last weekend and she admitted that she cried herself to sleep both nights (I wasn't aware of this); because she wanted to be at home. So, it's not just her dads house. I rang him the other night to tell him what she's been saying, she was with me while we spoke and burst into tears, so he spoke to her and told her that she'll always be his number 1 girl and that as long as she knows he loves her and will always be there for her, that's all that matters! I took her round to visit him yesterday and he repeated it quite a few times. She still says she feels bad but is happier now it's out in the open.

At the same time, she has still been really emotional and sensitive. She has had a few tears each evening, totally not linked to all of this (I think!?) . She's seeing a friend tomorrow so I'm hoping that will cheer her up a bit. Maybe going back to school next week will help, they have a new building so hopfully that will keep her mind occupied too.

Bless her, it's horrible seeing her so low and tearful, I just wish her period would start soon!!!

Well, she has got through her first week at school and I have to say it hasn't made as much difference as I had hoped! She has still come in to me each evening telling me she is low and either having a little cry, or saying she wants to cry but can't.

A couple of evenings ago though, she admitted that she is scared of me dying, and the others in her life who are important to her, while balling her eyes out. Her Grandad died in May and while they weren't close, I'm beginning to think that it has affected her more than any of us realised. I've told her that it's perfectly natural to feel this way, I remember crying myself to sleep some nights, fearful of the day my parents would be gone.

One good thing - the night before last, she told me she didn't feel as low as usual, so I told her that was brilliant and that maybe things really are getting better - I always try to be positive with her but realistic if that makes sense...!?

Can I ask - do you tuck your 12 year olds into bed? She likes me to tuck her in every night, this is something that she started asking for recently and I've just done it, but I'm wondering if I'm pandering to her or not? In some ways, I wonder if it's a way of getting my undivided attention (although she gets that through the day too), or if I should gradually phase it out as she is growing into a young lady?

Meant to say, my Mum is convinced that DD1 is depressed but I'm extremely reluctant to jump to that conclusion, especially after only a month. Apparently there is depression in the family, so I should be aware of it!?.

2 of my close friends have offered to have a chat with her, these are people who she knows well and I think it would be healthy for her to talk to somebody outside of the house, in confidence of course. She has declined, saying I am the only one she can talk to, which is an honour, but feels a bit more of a pressure!

12 is certainly not 'too old' to be tucked in. It's a very small thing for you to do and it obviously makes her feel warm and safe and looked after and loved.

Thanks Zandy, I thought that too. It's just that DH (her step-dad) commented that she's a bit old for it - I disagreed of course!