think i must be a really selfish,lazy person cos motherhood is too hard!

[selfishmum]

I feel SO guilty but I need to talk to someone.

I've got 2 kids, age 6 and 3. I have 2 sets of healthy,retired grandparents, both live 1 mile away and both are very very happy to mind kids anytime.

Husband is brilliant and does loads in house and with kids.

I am very lucky I know.

I find my kids exhausting, especially the hours between 3 - 6.30pm when husband gets home. They never stop shouting/playing/trashing the house and asking and asking for raisins, toast, fruit, yoghurt, crackers, drink, pancakes on and on on. If I say no to the 3yr old he goes nuts, screaming and stamping his feet (normal 3 yr old stuff)and is fairly easily distracted but still have to figure out a way to distract him.

I just find them so noisy and demanding. All I ever want to do is find some peace and quiet and read a book, watch tele, go out for a bike ride - all me, me, me stuff.

Today a mum in playground said to me that she didn't want the summer holidays to end because she misses her 3 kids when they're not around. I felt so awful cos I was counting down the days till they went back to school.

I do love them and when we're in a big family group or with friends I love being with them, am dead proud of them, I love them to bits when they're asleep!

I feel so guilty that I've got it so good and I still struggle to cope.

Does anyone else feel this way?

at latrucha

I do so know what you mean. I was a SAHM up until 6 months ago, and felt vaguely unfulfilled and kinda crap at it if I'm honest (Domestic Goddes I am not)

So I get a job and a childminder and off I go into full-time employment. Now I feel stressed and guilty and trapped - like I'm not 'allowed' any time to myself cos I am not with the DS's all week.

So neither situation is working! Or maybe I'm just a moany cow?!!

Both asleep finally... nice...

I love my kids. I love them so much I kept having them. I have just had my 5th. Being a mum is the most important thing in my life. I am not ashamed to say it.

But they drive me bloody crazy sometimes. From school pick up time its countdown to bedtime for me

Holidays can be a bloody nightmare. How the hell do you entertain a child for that long?

I do adore my kids. I know how precious they are because I have lost one. I, like all of us, have made huge (willing) sacrifices to have them.

But I dont want to spend all my time with kids. They moan and fight and are demanding and selfish. They are supposed to be like that, they are kids.

You are not a bad mum and nor am I.

SkinnyPerson - if work is just an outlet for you maybe part time work. I went through all the crap mum stuff with being at home, then the incredible guilt and stress of f/t work and found part time suited me best. But the money wasnt that great or helpful.

I work part time. I love work and I love my kids but they are both aggravating, tiring and frustrating and quite often I don't want to go to work when its a work day and I don't want to look after my kids when its a kids day!

Early tea is a very good idea. Mine have theirs at half four and if they start whinging for food I bring it forward if possible

I sooooo could have written this thread (and what skinnyperson said). Thank you OP for making me feel so much better

My mum told me that the dictionary definition of Mother should be GUILT and for once she was right!
I am totally with you OP on this I particularly mirror the I love them to bits when they are asleep feeling. And why is it that when I want to go to sleep I lay awake feeling guilty that let them see how much they irritate me and promise myself that tomorrow I will give more of myself/time and on it goes...........