V. Frustrating

[JustVicki]

How come if someone has a difficult or challenging child, providing of course there is no meidcal reason for said behaviour, people inevitably blame the parenting? When if you have a very well behaved, polite and considerate child your 'lucky'?

Doesnt seem fair to me and certainly isnt consistant!

I think people just like to make generalisations. Before having my two dss, four and two, I thought all bad behaviour in children was bad parenting. Ha! I didn't realise how hard it is to have "well behaved children". I know that I do my best as a parent, but sometimes I feel like I should be on supernanny.

I think everyone feels like that at some point even those with 'blessed angels.'

I think that there is a little of our childrens personalities, the good and the bad that is just there, in their DNA or something and our parenting nurtures the good and the bad points.

Nature Vs Nurture?? A bit of both in my opinion!

I have this gripe with my mil! She is forever telling me how 'lucky' I am that he sleeps, despite months of implementing a routine that I strictly follow. I also get told I'm very 'lucky' he is toilet trained and such a happy child.....yet when he throws a tantrum I should be disciplining him more and I'm too soft on him! Grrrr, cant win either way.

I had this today.
My 4 and 2 yr olds shopping in Tescos with me this morning. It was very busy. 4yr old too big to go in trolley, 2 yr old won't go in, otherwise she screams her head off all the way round. So after trying to do a medium shop with both on foot I was trying to look for some ketchup. Every aisle you went down trolleys were getting in the way of eachother, it was that busy. In the last aisle I was in I was trying to make sure I hadn't lost my DDs, quite stressed at the shop by that point when another mum coming the other way said in a snotty voice 'a thankyou would have been nice'. I was really upset. She only had 1 DC and they were in the trolley being nice and quiet. I didn't even realise that she had been waiting for us to pass her (it was that busy this was happening in every aisle anyway with everyone).

So to her, the perfect parent with only 1 in tow in the trolley, up yours. My DDs are very well behaved, just young and trying not to get lost in the supermarket. So of course I'm taking maybe a little bit longer as I'm trying not to lose them and do my shopping at the same time. You just wait until you have another one.

Sorry, rant over. Things are not always as they might appear.

I have a fairly well behaved child, in that her tantrums tend to have no substance are very short lived, she was also a fast walker and slept through the night at an early age and was fullt potty trained by the time she was 2 1/2. However me and DH put all our time and effort into this and a the end of the day we dont want a meddle but dont want our efforts diminshed either, besides, no children are perfect we have our days!!

I am expecting my second in November and my sister and mother can barey keep the glee from their eyes when they practically wish me a horror this time round!! Cant get my head around it!!

My DD1 was 'born good'. She's now 4 and still doesn't know how to be naughty. I can count the number of tantrums she's ever had on one hand, potty trained in a day etc. Nothing we did with her, she is 'just good'.

DD2 came along 22 months later and is a different kettle of fish. Far more determined to get her own way and will do anything to get it. Tantrums started at 14 months old, at least 10 a day. She's just turned 27 months now and we're down to 1 or 2 tantrums a day, normally when she's tired. Also, she refuses to potty train.

What I'm trying to say is that both my children have had the same upbringing, but their personalities are SO different. A few months ago DD2 could have been considered a 'naughty child'. But she's not, she's just high spirited, which were are learning to manage. She's never scribbled on walls or purposely broken anything and does now stop on a pavement when you ask her to before steps into the road.

Every child is different and I don't know any who are truly 'naughty'. Sometimes boys and girls can be natrually more boistrious, which can come across as naughty to outsiders, but they all grow out of it by school age.