Bathtime photos

[mandrakemoon]

At my best friend's house recently, we were bathing my 5yr old daughter and her 4yr old son together and she asked if she could take photos for our respective albums (not publishing them on internet/FB of course).

Although I realise that this is not illegal, I was very uncomfortable with the thought of it and refused.

Since then, she has taken this as a personal insult, and has not spoken to me again.

Was I overreacting or simply protecting my daughter? I now feel as though I'm the one who has something wrong with me.

She's your best friend - what do you think she's going to do with the pictures, FGS? I would have thought that it's just ammunition to embarrass them with when they're in their teens.

Though I do agree that putting them on the Internet would be an unwise idea.

Its up to you of course but why does this make you uncomfortable?

We have loads of pics of our little kids in the bath with or without friends and various relatives! All very sweet and innocent.

btw we stopped taking these at around 10

It's up to you - but what was the froblem? We've got loads of bath photos.

Honestly? I think you are overreating.

There is nothing to protect her from. You are being over-cautious.

Everyone has bathtime childhood photos - what else will you embarrass her with when she is 18?

Ever since DS was born I've said no 'willy' shots. I don't want them to exist anywhere even in someone else's private album. So bath photos are out for us too. I don't think you're being unreasonable.

Perhaps the way you said 'no' is what has riled your mate? Might be worth explaining that you don't think she's a dodgy pervert - more that you've set a rule and want to stick to it for your own reasons...

You can take a bath photo without getting the child to display their genitals you know

A fuss over nothing.....you are practically accusing your friend of having dubious reasons for taking the photo....no wonder she is upset.

We have endless bath photos, with an endless stream of cousins and friends, plenty of willies on display, never given it a second thought.

plenty of bathshots here too.. very cute.

Each to thier own but id personally be fine with it.
My DD usually has an entire bath of bubbles so you only see her face anyway

Re embarrasing them as teenagers.. When I got married my Dad had printed his speech out and on the back was a photo of me with a disgusted face after being caught(top half) in the shower aged about 9! I didnt realise till after he had sat down again but did wonder why everyone laughed when he stood up to give the speech

Thanks for all your messages guys.

As expected, we've got a mix of agrees and disagrees. Just to clarify further, my friend was wanting to do full body shots of the pair of them standing up and hugging, etc. If it had been simply faces peering over the bathtub, I wouldn't have minded - but there you go.

Will offer the olive branch and see what happens...

PS - oh there's plenty of other things I can embarrass her with as she gets older! Excessive wind passing being only one of them!

Mx

Well, I think you were overreacting. And while I have plenty of pictures of both my children in the bath, unless I take them standing up and looking down on them there's nothing more to see than I'd be happy for anyone to see, so I think you may have been seriously overreacting. I don't think I have any bathtime photos showing genitals, and that's without having made any specific attempt to avoid them.

But given that she asked your permission, it seems odd that she's reacted so strongly to your not giving it. What did you actually say/do when you refused?

I too have no problem taking photos of my DD in the bath, but I've never taken a photo that shows her bottom or genitals. Lots of bubbles takes care of that:-) It's a personal thing though of course. I too wouldn't want my friend to take a full shot of my DD but so long as the photo was discreet then it's fine.

I am Indian though and a but of a prude. My DD has seen me naked, for example, but we don't bathe together. It's just the way I was brought up, and my culture I guess.

I suppose the difficulty these days is that digital shots potentially could go on the internet.

At first I thought - don't be silly (sorry ) but unless they are your shots on your camera you don't have full control.

On the other hand, we can be too cautious and are in danger of tainting these innocent pictures and the intentions with which your friend takes them, which she could be offended by.

Its a sad dilemma.