Those with pre school age dc's and no childcare ...

[Tillyscoutsmum]

What do you do about things like doctor's/dentist/hospital appointments ? Or, slightly more frivolous but still important (imo) things like going to the hair dressers ?

I am a SAHM with 2 pre-school age dc's. I have no family support and really struggle to get things done. Its worse atm because I have a terminally ill relative who I want to see as much as possible but don't want to keep dragging the dc's along to the hospital etc.

How does everyone manage ?

Doctors, other urgent weekday appointments, I take them with me.
Dentist, hair appointments, etc I arrange for weekends.

I recently got a nanny for one morning a week though and that has been a huge help.

Your issue is your dh, which you know. I do all that when dh has the children. Just take yourself off one evening, late shopping, salon, meet a friend. Sod his bloody bike ride.

It's such a shame that so many threads turn into a husband-bashing fest. The OP is presumably perfectly happy with her husband, and didn't ask for nasty comments about him. She just asked how other people managed.

"DH works for himself and can be quite flexible, when it suits him. He'll often pop out for a bike ride when working from home but if I ask him to look after the dc's whilst I do something, its a big issue. I'm just fed up of have to beg for a bit of time to do anything".

Erm, no, I don't think she is perfectly happy with her husband. Nor should she be, by the sounds of it.

The op says she is fed up of having to beg her dh for time to herself, so presumably isn't too happy..hence starting this thread.

Okay. But I still think the general husband-bashing thing is a shame.

Thanks again for the responses.

DH is being a bit of a selfish arse at the moment (imo). He is pretty good most of the time - I have plenty of evenings out and a few weekends away with friends etc.

Its just the week days really when he seems to think he shouldn't have to look after the dc's when he should be at work and I feel he is happy to take advantage of the flexibility of working for himself to do things he wants to do but not things I want/need to do. He also goes out on his bike on a Saturday so that pretty much writes Saturdays off as well

I'm generally just in a bit of rut about being a SAHM and not having any time for myself... but that's a different thread !

Not sure of your financial standing. But if you have some spare cash you try and find casual a 1/2 day a week nanny.

A lot of nannies work a 4 day week (lots of 4 day a week working mums) - and some may be happy to work the odd half day on their day off.

I have always had a Friday morning Nanny so that I could do all those jobs that I could't / didn't want to drag the DTs along too.

I can vouch that lots of people take their kids to the dentist..at times its like a creche at the place I work!

Fanjo - I took them along for my dental check up. I am a dental phobe and hadn't been for 20+ yrs (you were very helpful on the thread I did about it !). It actually helped having them there because it stopped me making a total fool of myself and I had to act "brave" in front of dd. However, I need to go back and have a filling and there is no way I could do that with them there.

DD starts pre school next week so I'll only have DS in the mornings. That will make life easier.

Sullwah - love the idea of a half day nanny but I'm not sure I fancy my chances of convincing DH I would like to look into it though. Any idea where I would start ??

I have, and do, take DCs most places including Drs.
DH looks after them when I go to the hairdressers on a Saturday.
For anything really unavoidable,DH works from home whilst I go e.g.hosp appt or treatment.

If I was in your situation with your relative I'm not sure what I would do.
At a regular toddler group there are a few childminders who take their children/mindees. I would prob ask one if they would do one off minding for a few hours every now and then.

DD1 going to pre-school imminently too, so I'm hoping it'll be easier with one at home