Need some advice from SAHMs please

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I have recently become a SAHM after 9 years working as a nurse. I went back to work after my ds (aged 4) and had to go back for a few months after my dd (aged 14 months) to avoid paying back maternity pay. I only ever worked one shift a week but after much thought and discussion, decided to quit my contracted hours. The night shift was taking out of me and we can afford it with some cut backs. I am on a nurse bank which means I can do shifts if and when I choose but so far have not been motivated!

I love being at home with the kids and I know these years are precious but I do feel a little out of sorts. A bit lost I suppose. I wouldn't say I am bored, but I do worry I am going to lose all confidence to work again and I do like to use my brain. I am scared of just being dd and ds mum and feel I may lose myself a bit.

Is this just initial adaptation to the change and not working for the first time since I left university?

For those of you who have been sahm for a while, do you have other interests that are just for you? Do you worry about going back to work? Do you intend to?

I have options to do a night class for example (I love reading and creative writing) and I can do the odd shift but I just feel tired at the moment and find I am doing very little!

Are kids really better off with mum at home or do I convince myself of this to excuse my laziness at the moment?

Your dd is still very young. My 2 have roughly the same age gap as yours and I found the stage you're at really tough and would have struggled to find the brain space for any outside interests.

However, they're now 6 and 3 and the last year or so has been much easier. I feel like I'm taking my life back and have developed a few hobbies/interests etc

Don't be too hard on yourself atm, give it 6 months and see how you feel.

Agree with what everyone else has said. One thing I would add is make sure you keep your registration up. We moved abroad and mine lapsed, the only way back for me, if and when we return to the UK is a year long back to nursing course.

I started by just helping out at playgroup, making the tea, welcoming new mums that sort of thing. Just to give me something to do but I could take the kids too. That graduated to helping out at the school when they started, reading groups, classroom assistant etc.
Then they asked if I was interested in courses, so I have done allsorts, parenting, playwork, first aid, child protection, computers, maths, TA level 3 done some part time at university, but all over the space of about 8 years.

If you dont need to work and dont feel inclined to, then you could just see where life takes you.

Thank you! These are reassuring posts

I think this is the first time in a long time where I have choices and that is what I am finding difficult. I have the chance to pursue other interests/hobbies so I feel like I should be. I will be doing some shifts to keep up my registration and I am thinking of a night class in the New Year. That should be enough just now. As you say, my youngest is only 14 months and I am finding it tiring at the moment, as she is at a quite different stage to my ds who is 4.

Also can't rule out another completely
I shouldn't complain but unfortunately I suspect I am one of those who is never happy, just a born worrier!