13 week old still not in routine, unsettled every evening and wont take evening feed

[baz1million]

Help! I am sure everyone will tell me this is normal (hopefully) but I am looking for some reassurance. Our baby is nearly 13 weeks old and every evening around 530/6 she becomes fussy, tearful, sometimes hysterical, wants to be held constantly, cant be put down and very rarely wants to eat either. Has anyone else experienced this?

Most babies have an hour or so at some point during the day when they are particularly ratty. Does she have wind? As frustrating as it is, try and stay calm as she will pick up on your anxiety.

Also, 13 weeks is very early for a routine, so don't worry about that :)

perhaps she is overtired? What sleep has she had up until this point?

would second the overtired question. DD (20 weeks) goes down for a short cap nap between 5-6. it refreshes her enough to be able to get through bottle, bath and bed without getting twitchy.

and i dont think 13 weeks is too young for a routine .

she has a couple of naps in the day but these are not at set times. I have trouble putting her down for set naps, did you manage that at this stage? Just keep thinking am doing everything wrong as still no set routine.

I second what Sirboob said

Trying to get her in to a routine is obviously making you feel anxious. Why not just follow her cues for when she is tired/hungry and see how you go. A routine will come at some point, just don't force it.

here is a link from Kellymom about fussy evenings.

Everything thinks they're doing everything wrong :) You will do for the next 20+ years from what I gather DS put himself into a routine at around 16 weeks. I tried for ohh... Three days? to try and get him doing X, Y and Z and actually found we were just so stressed from it, neither of us were sleeping well or calm enough to actually get on with things. So I left him to it, and one day I remember looking at the clock and thinking, "Oh, this is the same time as yesterday, and the day before!" and voila :)

Also he has never really been one for napping willingly. His nap times varied dramatically until maybe six weeks (ish) ago when he decided that he needed a nap at 11ish and 4ish. All very loose depending on what we're doing. But we're both much more relaxed now.

Please don't put yourself under the pressure of thinking, "Oh God, everyone else is saying that they need to be doing this, and mine isn't, I'm messing it up!" because there are a thousand "mistakes" you could be making each day if you think about it like this.

I agree that you shouldn't get yourself too stressed out about getting your baby into a perfect routine. But what IS important is that your baby does get enough sleep so that she isn't ratty and overtired.

My little girl (11 weeks) can't really be awake for more than 1.5 hrs before she needs a nap. At around 4 or 5pm she has a short nap of 30 mins of so to see her through her bath and feed in the evening.

What's transformed things for us is being able to put her down in her cot whilst awake. When I see the signs of tiredness she goes in the cot and falls asleep by herself.

The nurses in the SCBU when I had ds1 used to call after 5pm the witching hours or something ?! Basically saying that most of the babies were a bit of a nightmare at those times! My 2 were very fussy and fed a lot between 5-9pm for months. We didn't get a 'routine' established until 6+ months once solids had been started! Good luck, it really does get easier soon!

Thanks everyone for your advice, she rarely sleeps in teh day so I think perhaps that doesnt help. I will set about starting to try and put her down for naps when she appears tired.

Thanks