6yo boy really afraid of swimming - how can I help?

[UnePrune]

DS has had a few swimming lessons, and been in the water quite a lot really. I took him when he was a baby, fairly regularly. We moved, and MIL used to take him to her health club (nice and quiet/ warm water...) once a week. Since then he's had half a course of swimming lessons (we stopped because though he seemed ok, it was traumatic to watch!) and a couple of private lessons.

Basically he clings to the side, he simply won't do 'pretend swimming' where I'd support him under his body, and though he says he likes playing, he also says he's scared and starts talking in this awful baby language (mummy hold me/me no let go mummy).

I have no idea how to handle it! Any ideas? He is NT, btw, and has no physical problems. He is the most stubborn and complex person I know, but that's another matter.

Keep going with him, treat it like a very large bath. Take toys and let him lead with doing what he feels like; don't pressure at all. See if you can go with friends of his who are more confident and will play with him (that's what cracked it for DD, wanting to swim as well as her friends could).
DD was similar at almost same age, btw, you wouldn't believe what a fantastic swimmer she is now! (almost 9yo).

Thanks - that's so encouraging!

Sadly none of his local friends can swim either. It's weird! I was like a fish (it's the only sporty thing I can do) and definitely swimming by 6, with my friends too. We live in a non-privileged city area and I don't think they do swimming with the school either. So sad.

Maybe when go when other children are likely to be there? Again, the impulse to conform/play with other children will help him want to overcome his inhibitions, hopefully.

Does he use swim aids. We found these were great for ours.Delphins

My ds was nervous to and would cling on and I asked a swimming instructor and she recommended, as ragged said above, to treat it like a game.

Play with toys, sing songs (we like to do ring a roses where we go round and round in a cirle), and generally move in the water all the time, but don't mention the swimming part to him. Let your ds get used to being in the water before you try and get him swimming, even with still holding your handas. Let him take the lead.

It worked for us and only a few months later my ds is swimming almost by himself, under water, jumping etc. He just needed his confidence building

I firmly believe some people just aren't made to go in the water. I should know, I'm one of them

Swimming is an essential life skill, cyb. I would consider it hugely derelect of me if I didn't do my best to make sure my kids could swim, & didn't have to ever worry about not being able to swim. And within reason, the earlier the better, really.

Could you get him some one to one lessons, most pools do them or know someone that does. They are not cheap but with an experienced teacher he shouldn't need many. I would recomend that you sit somewhere where he can't see you after the first lesson, even if that means hiding. Children so often do better in the water when they can't see their M/Dad. I know this seems harsh but the teacher will know loads of games to play and he'll forget he is scared if he isn't looking at you every couple of seconds.
I understand that his fear is genuine but swimming could be a life or death thing one day.
I would reward him massivly for even tiny steps and maybe have a target to work towards, such as getting into the water without crying = a treat.

Can you go to a pool where he can stand up? Just to get him used to being in the water initially.