help pls

[IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat]

Every day I lose the plot at my three year old. He drives me insane and I end up shouting at him. Today I screamed at him.

I really need some coping strategies. I don't want to be this way

It's really hard sometimes isn't it Iwouldnotcouldnot..? Is anything else going on in your life causing you to be short tempered with him?

I find that if I'm having bad few days I try and take control of the situation. Remember, he is only 3, while you can't necessarily change his behaviour immediately, you can change how you react to it.

Preparation is key. You need to decide how to cope with unwanted behaviour in a way that is consistent and age appropriate.

What behaviours trigger you to lose your cool?

He is normally very good.

But he gets tired, refuses to sleep, wails, screams, throws things and I just lose it.

I went and apologised and said 'Mummy is sorry for shouting. It was naughty of Mummy to shout. Mummy shouldn't shout at you'. He is happy as Larry at the moment.

So, is it bed times then? Or does he nap in the day also?

It's good that you apologised.

I've had another bad morning with my nearly 3 yr old dd this morning if it's any consolation. With her, it's always tiredness that turns her into a screaming, biting, negative nightmare but this is a particularly challenging phase. I'm being all shouty towards her at the moment but this is only after trying all the calm, patient routes first. She argues and refuses (even the nice things). I give her choices (she likes to feel/be independent) but neither choice is what she wants. I'm firm and always carry through my threats if the poor behaviour continues. Gah... it's exhausting. I asked her to bring her shoes to me so we could put them on and she actually screamed, 'No, I don't want to. Not going to bother!' - I have no idea where she picked that up. Outrageous.

She's asleep right now so should wake up in a slightly better mood but that's not always the case. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm the grown up here and not get drawn into a rant-fest with a midget-drunk (Dylan Moran called children that and it made me laugh). Plenty of deep breaths and walking away...

Sometimes, I believe shouting or being cross is warranted though so don't be too hard on yourself.

I think of it as yet another phase and, in time, it will pass (fingers crossed before she hits puberty)!

ps love the name :)

Thanks for everyone's replies.

He is just cutting out daytime sleeps, I think, and spending most of the day knackered!

Had to laugh at Not going to bother! It is just so frustrating, I can be patient and calm for a good long stretch and then I just explode!

I think deep breaths and walking away could be the go...