I thought it was supposed to get easier....

[explodingbosoms]

I have a lovely daughter (first child) who is 6.5 months old.

After the initial tough newborn weeks, I found the first six months an absolute breeze. In fact, I felt on top of the world. Everyone told me that the first six months would be the hardest but I was so happy that I took it all in my stride: sleepless nights, the odd feeding issue (she's breastfed), etc.

Now I'm finding things difficult, suddenly, just when it's "supposed" to get easier. I've become obsessed with naps to the point where I cry if she wakes up after her usual 40 minutes (thought we'd cracked it last week but it turns out it was just a sleepy few days). I worry constantly about her routine and her sleeping and have the words of my hv ringing in my ears that she "should" be sleeping through the night (she isn't). It's got to the point where I don't want anyone else, dp included, to look after her without me because they're not 100% familiar with her routine.

I find the days very long and I'm fed up with breastfeeding. All my friends with sim aged babies are mixed feeding or formula feeding but I'm the one who still heads home at 10pm after one small glass of wine for the dream feed, on the rare occasions I go out. She's never taken a bottle though she seems to quite like the beaker cup which could offer some freedom if I can let go and leave her with somebody else.

My baby is adorable. Really, she couldn't be any jollier, sweeter or a better companion. But I find myself in tears at least once a day and I don't know how to pull myself together. I don't know if it's hormones or what.

Anyone else feel/felt the same?

Obv I mean the baby will sleep in the pram, not my Mum

Hi, I'm so glad I've found this thread, I feel exactly the same. I was so lucky in the early days, I took it all in my stride. I adored my newborn, had no moments of doubt or anything.

But now she is 6 months, even though she is gorgeous, funny, interactive, mobile etc I am suddenly finding it really hard. My mum says things like "oh, she is such a delight, she is so good" and I find myself thinking

"shit, should I be feeling that?" cos mostly I just feel a mixture of exhausted and (I'm so ashamed to admit this) bored. I adore her but I just don't seem to have the energy or motivation to enjoy her IYSWIM

She isn't sleeping through or anywhere near, she doesn't nap regularly or well, she is EBF and as we are doing BLW, still feeding A LOT.

My friends many of whom struggled in the early days, all seem to have it all sorted out and are back in control and I don't really feel able to talk to them as I kinda feel that they all would think I was "owed" a hard time as I didn't struggle at first. Not that I was EVER smug but I know a couple of people were unreasonably jealous that I didn't get depressed or down in the early days.

My DP is away in Africa working and has been for 5 weeks so I feel as if I can't do anything about the sleeping as most techniques seem to rely on DP doing some settling rather than me.

anyway, it has been theraputic writing all this down, no real advice but just sharing your misery.

It does get easier.

Yes, every age has its problems, but anything is better in life when you are getting a proper night's sleep.

And when the child can tell you what's wrong instead of just crying and screaming for
hours on end.

southwestwhippet, sorry you are going through the same thing, and on your own as well.

A few weeks ago I tried my dd on 4-hourly breastfeeds and it has been fine, she hasn't seemed to be hungry and has gone down to one night feed. Could be worth a go.

I also have an "easy" baby- the odd day like yesterday aside- but in a way that makes me feel I'm coping even less well. If she was a "challenging" baby I'd feel there was an explanation for me feeling this way.

It's the same for me and my friends with babies. When they used to talk about it being hard I'd think (but not say) "but it's easy!". Now they all seem to be quite astonishingly back on track- they're all heading back to work, going off on hen weekends etc. Meanwhile I'm sort of flailing around....

But apparently it does get easier (or doesn't, depending on who you talk to!).

It gets easier, then it gets harder!

Do what works for you. Ignore books advice etc., but work with what works for you and the baby. Don't expect regular naps necessarily, they may not be that tired, they may need overstimulation to get to sleep, a walk in the pram can get them to sleep much quicker than a quiet room. Or it might be the other way around.

They are continually changing, if not a growth spurt (happen all the time, just as you have a routine for 2 weeks). A virus. Teething. The wrong food. Who knows what?

I liked homeopathic teething powder, as it made me feel I was doing something, but could cause no harm.

Different people cope better with different age children. (I could never be a child minder for instance.)

Have you ever seen the film "Parenthood" where Granny describes being a parent as being on a roller coaster. That is a very useful image.

But do also get checked for PND as if you do have it it will not help, but lots of brilliant parents do have PND.

Good luck.

exploding, i have to agree with your mum , getting out is good and gives fresh perspective
what is the worst 'utter chaos' u can imagine from breaking the routine? i bet u can manage it fine even in that situation
several people told me to throw the books away and i agree now, in a way you and your baby are the best experts here, but i didnt feel confident at 6m, esp when every tom dick and harry other baby was sleeping better, going for a nap in cot of precisely 1h at midday - well it makes for an easy predictable life but it doesnt really matter in the long run! DD found her own routine, cant remmember when, somehwere 8/9m i think and then it was nice to lose some chaos
good luck

It's up and down all the time. It's good you are going to see the GP, but it might just be a case of a build up of lack of sleep. As another poster said the adrenaline is wearing off, this is the day to day reality, and it feels never ending, relentless.

Sounds like a lot of it is about you managing your expectations. If you know that it is ok to be feeling like this at this stage might that make you feel better?

Ignore what your HV says 'should' be happening. Sometimes baby's don't sleep through the night at this stage. That's ok, it's ok for it to continue like this if you can relax about it. If the nights are getting too much for you there are things you can do about that too.

Also don't underestimate the toll bfing takes on you physically.

Try and relax, stop worrying about doing the right thing and for goodness sake let your family help you :)

I agree with throwing the books out. I read the 'whispery' one at around 6 months and it instantly made me feel depressed that I was doing it all wrong. DH ridiculed that notion when he got home and I started to feel better. Really, it's just about what works for you and your DD - nothing else matters - there's no 'right' way as long as they're healthy. As you're unhappy maybe it is time to change track (or get off the tracks)! I personally find 'chaos' better than feeling judged. Most of the people I know have no routine either - and certainly aren't jetting off on hen weekends! And this is at 9 months.

If I stayed at home all day trying to get DS to nap regularly I would get down very quickly. Do what makes you happy (doesn't even need to be baby activities - 6 month olds are usually portable) - galleries, shopping, walk in the park, library... hope you feel better soon! :)

Thanks so much, again. I think it's time for me to chill out a bit and stop obsessing. After her day of madness the other day she slept really well. But after her usual regimented day yesterday she was up wailing for an hour in the night and woke at 5.30am. So perhaps the routine isn't so important. I was happier when I was merrily chucking her in the pram to go for cups of tea and baby massage, giving her a rock when she looked sleepy.

I'm going to see the GP next week and might give the hv a call (though our local team aren't the best, I'm afraid- they seem to be more focused on box-ticking than actually helping sometimes). I think it's more than likely that this is a bog-standard new mum low patch. But I know from experience that if it is something darker I should nip it in the bud.

Love to everyone having a wobble.