Anyone else dreading returning to work?

[tinky19]

I'm going back in Jan when DS will be 9 months, 3 days a week, but just the though of missing out on the day to day things is enough to make me sob. It's beginning to overshadow everything.

Do you have to go back?

Hi tinky19,

I feel the same although I'm due back a week on Wednesday! I've managed to drop a day and a couple of hours, so am working 4 days a week, 7 hours. Ideally I would have preferred to only work 3, but due to workload etc I've got to work 4. Also, I'll have more money...!

I think once I'm back in the swing of things and have a better routine it will probably benefit ds and I. I know he'll be in safe hands with CM for 2 days, grandma for 1 and Daddy for another - but being with him 24/7 for the last 8 months, it's going to be so strange, not having him attached to me all the time.

Just enjoy the next 4 months with your ds, and try not to think "I'm going back to work in 4/3/2 next month.." as it'll spoil your time together.

I'm sure plenty of other new mum's on maternity leave feel the same way - I know I'm going to need plenty of tissues for the first week or so!

Thanks. Keep trying to push it to the back of my mind. Wouldn't go back at all if it weren't for the money! Keep trying to think of ways to earn at home.

hi tink19. i felt like you with dd1. i had to go back when she was 9 months, and it is hard. at the time it feels like the end of the world i know. it doesn't help that it coincides with separation/stranger anxiety. in the long-term though, i can only speak from my experience, that after inital settling in issues, it did us both the world of good. dd1 is now super-confident little 3 year old, really confident, really sociable, bright, lovely, etc etc (pfb? ) and really is fine, and i benefitted from using my brain again, and having some time out. i also got quite down about the whole leaving her thing, and i think made it worse by building it up in my own head. enjoy your mat leave. deal with the feelings you have when you return. remember it does get easier. and there really are loads of benefits for you lo in spending time with other care-givers.

now i have dd2, i am not worried at all about going back. as logn as you are happy wth the childcare you have, do not strss yourself about it.

sorry for garbled post, sleep deprivation means i have limited capacity for making any sense!

Try not to let the thought of returning to work spoil your time now. I did and really regret it. I found once I got back to work I was so busy I didn't really have too much time to dwell on what I was missing with DD. Now I am happy to work part time and really, really appreciate my time with DD. It's lovely to have her run into my arms after a happy day at nursery or with the GPs.

Thank you so much. You're right, I know it will do me and him good to see a few different faces. My work is manic so you're right Allegrogirl, I don't think I'll miss him whilst I'm there once I get back into it. I'll just have to kill the first person who says 'Oh, he did this for the first time today...'

Also, while you have time, is your employer flexible at all. Would they let you try reduced hours until you and baby adjust. I did that. Although ultimately, I decided my heart was at home and took some time off. I did plan it all out and had dh step up and find a steady paying job (he was working at home) so we could live off the one salary. It all worked out and now I am back at work 2 days a week and very happy to have a bit of both worlds ie earning money but lots of time with the kids.

I'm going back 3 days a week which is the most we can afford as DH is retraining at college till summer 2011 but once he has a job I might try to persuade him for me to do 2 days, especially as i want number two child to come before too much longer.

I feel the same too and am going back in 10 weeks...... Trying so hard to make the most of mine and DS's time at home together but there's such a niggle in the back of my mind that I just don't want to go back........ I think that nursery will be just so good for him as he's such a sociable little boy but I just don't want to go back to work! I love being a proper housewife (old fashioned I know) and enjoy every minute I spend with DS and cooking and things during his naps (oh and watching the odd bit of jeremy kyle and this morning of course!!!!) But if I were to not go back to work we'd just about be able to manage financially but we'd have to really cut back, buy smart price everything and have no money to save for holidays and things which I don't want to do so I know I'll just have to "suck it up"! Going to workfor just 3 days will be be a reasonable compromise but I honestly think that I'll be longing for the day that DH gets a payrise!!!!!!