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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Sister just had baby and hasn't got a clue HELP

26 replies

lexcat · 21/08/2010 20:08

Dd wants to send some clothes for the baby I was think a good book. I'm talking back to basics here on baby care. Baby is about 36 hours old now and we have had three phone calls.

Just over heard her on the phone needing partner to help burp the baby (didn't know how to hold her). Plus the baby's only just been put in a nappy this morning.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DreamTeamGirl · 21/08/2010 20:11

Are you looking for book ideas?

Maybe the Miriam Stoppard or the 'What to expect' one?

Book girl, I recall how horrified, shell shocked and confused by it all I was
Are you going to visit?

compo · 21/08/2010 20:11

Mumsnet book on Babies definitely

also offer to walk the baby around so she can rest
make a couple of easy meals for her like shepherds pie that she can put in the freezer

whomovedmychocolate · 21/08/2010 20:12

They'll learn. It's not that hard. When do you suppose they will have time to read?

Why don't you go and stay for 24 hours and just lend a hand?

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drivingmisscrazy · 21/08/2010 20:13

don't want to sound mean, but maybe you could go and see her instead? Not everyone is a natural, it's bloody hard to begin with and advice from someone close given in a supportive way is worth more than any present. The baby is your niece/nephew FGS.

DP and I didn't have a notion before DD was born - she is now fine, thriving and happy, but support would have been far more welcome than a book (DP's sister did a midnight flit across town to help us out, despite having a 6 month old of her own. Bless. We have repaid her with ample babysitting)

Original poster

lexcat · 21/08/2010 20:13

No she's in the states and I'm here in the uk. Was think amazon.com for the book

OP posts:

susitwoshoes · 21/08/2010 20:13

Your Baby Week by Week is the book I used, very helpful in a non-bossy way (never uses the word 'never' for a start). But maybe an illustrated book might be better, I didn't have one but maybe do a search on Amazon, there are reviews which are useful. She should be getting a visit from the community midwife soon and they should be able to help. If she's breastfeeding I found the midwives at my local breastfeeding cafe to be very helpful, not just on the feeding. I was lucky in that I was in hospital for a few days, so had lots of help there - if I'd been home at 36 hours I'd have been all over the place!

Congrats and good luck to your sister

compo · 21/08/2010 20:14

Dh was always much better at winding than me
as I was a Hunan cow I thought it was the least he could do

JBsmama · 21/08/2010 20:15

Just curious, if baby is 36 hours old and has only been put in a nappy now, what has she been in until now? Nothing?

Book, definitely. DVD if available, might be hard to read with newborn in her arms and she might appreciate visual demonstration.

drivingmisscrazy · 21/08/2010 20:18

hmmm, yes, can see that the Atlantic might pose a bit of a problem on the visiting front :)

Original poster

lexcat · 21/08/2010 20:20

sorry niece 8.2lb and a good head of hair.They don't have the same support of the health service we do in the states in less you pay. I read a lot when I use to feed dd not a lot else you can do.

OP posts:

Lynli · 21/08/2010 20:21

She had a baby 36 hrs age and you have written her off as a mother already.

Go visit, help her and don't make her feel inadequate.

ib · 21/08/2010 20:21

I was like that. My sister gave me The Baby Book (Sears) and, even better, took the time to answer all my phone calls and help me out.

If you ca n go around and give her some support, that would be even better.

Original poster

lexcat · 21/08/2010 20:21

Forgot to say she was just in a blanket for the first 24hrs.

OP posts:

ib · 21/08/2010 20:24

x-post about her being in the US - same sit here (in reverse)

Just be available on the phone. And try not to make her feel judged.

Original poster

lexcat · 21/08/2010 20:25

I can take the phone calls which I have been doing. But as for visting I just don't have the money to fly half way round the world so figured a book might be really helpful.

OP posts:

HLaurens · 21/08/2010 20:27

I have friends who have had babies in the USA and post-natal support is dreadful. Most of my friends gave up breastfeeding quickly as they had NO ONE to call on when things went wrong. No midwives visiting, no BF groups, nothing.

The best thing you can do (apart from send them a book) is just be on the phone/Skype and give them as much help as you can. You may be their only source of sensible advice.

Meglet · 21/08/2010 20:28

They don't get post natal care over there do they .

The huge birth & beyond book is good and the Mirian Stoppard one is easy to read. Can you send them via Amazon?

I'm sure she'll be fine though.

compo · 21/08/2010 20:29

Seriuosly the mumsnet book on babies, it'll be on amazon

ib · 21/08/2010 20:36

The sears book is a US one, so won't be assuming UK infrastructure.

cupofcoffee · 21/08/2010 20:44

Could you introduce her to mumsnet? She could get some support on here I'm sure.

TaurielTest · 21/08/2010 20:50

Another vote for the Sears Baby Book. It is terrific, it's the one I wish I'd had from day one.

Original poster

lexcat · 21/08/2010 21:31

Thanks can't get the mumsnet book on amazon.com
so think I'll go with the sears book instead. Plus was think to get a book on breastfeeding as she's already had lots of questions about that and she's hoping to feed till 18 months.

It's so strange to think she has no midwife coming in to see her as I found my midwife was a star and then I had a fantastic baby clinic with three excellent health visitors. Getting though the first year would have been hell with out their support.

OP posts:

Original poster

lexcat · 21/08/2010 21:35

Forgot to mention I had been a mothers help for newborn twin plus nanny for babies and toddles, but having my own was still tough with a very steep learn curve.

OP posts:

skyeplusbump · 22/08/2010 18:48

my sister used to call everyday from australia the first 2 weeks after i had my dd...i longed for that phone call,shed just tell me what she'd been through with hers and that i'd get the hang of it...i did.

she'll be fine,with a good book,and alot of phone time!

TaurielTest · 23/08/2010 14:22

The Sears book (I just got it out of the library!) has loads on different burping positions, and is very strong on BFing too, so it sounds like it will fit the bill, along with the phone time.
Another great US online resource for BF support is www.kellymom.com.

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