When did you start enjoying your baby?

[FeelLikeTweedleDee]

How old was your LO when you started to enjoy parenthood? When the good days outweighed the bad

Honestly? About 6 months! And it's got better all the time since. Newborns are hard and lonely work and don't give a lot back imo.

I had PND and found the first months until I got medical help horrific :(

I really started enjoying DD when she could do stuff probably about the same time the AD's kicked in....

on both of my dds....it was at 3 months....the first was the worst only cos i was a new parent.

Erm I enjoyed the first four weeks when DH was home so we coped together and just stared at DS. Then it got really really bad until about 5/6 months and I emerged from a haze of dealing with reflux and sleep deprivation. Now at 10 months I'm smitten!

Thanks for your replies guys :)

mololoho - yes it is very isolating.

Roopoo - what treatment did you get for PND? I'm not sure if I have PND but the doc has prescribed antidepressants so I assume I must have it.

I love my LO dearly but I feel incompetent as a new mum. I'm scared to be left alone with her. When I can't settle her I blame myself. When I have problems with breastfeeding I blame myself.

FeelLikeTweedleDee you are not at fault if you can't settle your baby and you are not at fault for feeling as you do, after all who would choose to feel like that.

Try to remember that it is normal and affects many women. Please have a look at the website of the APNI. They have an excellent helpline and will know exactly how you are feeling.

I was just wondering if your doctor has done anything else other than give you tablets. Has he put you down for a follow up appointment or counselling or referred you to a Mother and Baby unit? Has he told you how long you have to be on the tablets for before you start feeling better?

It does get better

Have a look at the NCT info centre too.

The doc I saw said "Why are you crying? Most mothers are happy when they have a new baby".

TweedleDee - I cried every day for about the first four months, was horribly anxious and had dreadful trouble with breastfeeding which I blamed myself for. I remember dreading her waking up because I wouldn't know what to do with her! Looking back, I'm sure I had PND but I was in such a state that I refused AD's and my HV just said fair enough and didn't pursue it.

I wish I had got more help. Please take any help you can get.

I promise it gets better. MUCH better! I can't put my finger on exactly when it improved but somehow I learnt to relax a bit more and not beat myself up.

How old is your LO?

Your GP sounds like a total prat. Is there another GP you could see in the practice?

Do you think that talking to the APNI might help? They may be able to help you get on the right track again.

Errm, any day now

Seriously though, it is hard work. How old is you LO? Sounds quite early to me to be being given anti depressants, it just is hard work, you're hormonal, sleep deprived, probably knocked in confidence, lonely.

Do you manage to get out to groups? Do you have family near by? Don't be afraid to say how you feel, it may not be PND, it may just be early stage hell!

i thought about this the other day - i noticed for the first time that i felt overwhelming love for my DS. He's 10.

Im on Fluoxetine (sp) they are in the same family as prozac.

Think it is totally normal to feel over whelmed as a new parent though... I was petrified of being left alone with DD and would weep and beg DH not to go to work until she was about 6 months.... Felt so inferior compared to all the other mummies I knew...

PS your DR sounds like a proper knobber... Think speaking to a different Dr might help as well as mine has been amazing.

It DOES get easier - I promise you. I had horrible PND but got help - drugs and counselling - and I felt much better quite quickly. I remember posting on MN asking a very similar question and got loads of support and advice - keep posting - there are lots of others who have been through the same thing. You are NOT a bad mum, you are just having a bad time. I really enjoy DD now (at 22 months and really since about 6 months) although I still have the odd 'off' day when it all gets a bit much. Do go to lots of things and meet other mums and get as much support as possible, in RL or on MN. You will get through this and start to enjoy your little one (well, most of the time) quite soon.

First grin - I was then utterly amazed and fascinated that I had given birth to a real human being who was different from me.

YOu know - crikey how did THAT (little baby thing) learn how to do THAT (big grin at daddy at appropriate moment) in 21 days - flippin flip!!!!

Felt like you when I had my first dc - lonely, lacking in confidence, couldn't bf, living for when dh walked through the door! I had undiagnosed pnd and in hindsight I wish I asked for help or that someone had said, what you're feeling doesn't have to continue, you should get some help.

As well as Innedsomesleep's really good links, can I also suggest contacting SureStart who have local volunteers and groups - I am resolved to go and check out my local one whilst on mat leave.

If you want to say, whereabouts are you FeelLikeTweedleDee? One of us might be nearby or might be able to suggest some good support.

I found it very hard at first. By 6 weeks I was finding it a little easier by 12 weeks I was enjoying it. The guilt is still there (and she is age 3 now) when things do not go right, or I didn't handle something as the perfect mother should but I did love her from the very beginning. My DC2 had colic and screamed everynight for 3 hours for the first 10 weeks, much harder to bond with him but he is so gorgeous now.

It does get easier.

I didn't know mumsnet existed when I had DD. Keep posting with any advice you need. This too shall pass x

i felt horrendous post birth. hv thinks i have ptsd.

however after the first 3 months it got much easier and after 6 it was a doddle. now at 10 months i can actually enjoy it day to day instead of retrospectively :-)

Sorry pressed to soon. I mean - they can do amazing things on their own - my job was to refuel, hose down the other end, and applaud at the relevant time at the next incredible thing they learn in the very few days since they have been tucked up inside your body.

And don't worry about feeling as if you've been in a car crash.Stop blaming yourself for anything at all - you've expelled several pounds of baby from your nether regions, that is an Olympic event in itself.

Just go wow at your baby and wow at yourself for producing the baby!

13 months-twas when she started settling down for the night more easily and just seemed more relaxed generally.

The first 12 months were awful. I think around the second birthday, if I'm honest.

Haven't heard of Mama before but they look like they may be able to help too.

Honestly? THe minute he was out and breathing (took a while) - we both had a horrid time of it. I was cut in half to get him out and he was blue for a few minutes - AGPAR of 1 etc.

I remember holding him in my arms at 5 days old (we were supposed to keep them in the cribs) watching the snow fall, in hospital - we were going home the next day and i told him i would love him forever and wouldn't let anything hurt him again.
......that is the first time i've told anyone that

The first 12 weeks were pretty miserable to be honest. I has serious regrets at ever deciding to have a baby.

After 12 weeks it got better, but at 5 months when I finally gave up breast feeding (was an uphill struggle and caused me so much uphappiness) was the turning point for me.

DD is now nearly 11 months and I am a regularly moved to tears (in a good way!) at how amazing she is.

Honestly,I have enjoyed DD since she was born. She's my second though. DS I didn't really enjoy til he started school. He's hard work, full on, and PFB!