Please ladies, come & talk to me about a 2 year age gap

[girlafraid]

I am pregnant with DC #2 who will be born when DS is 25 mnths old

A google search suggested to me that this is the worst possible age gap and I am now terrified. DS has been going through the terrible 2s for a while now and is tantrumming central so not sure how I'm going to cope with him & a new born. DS likes to walk everywhere but needs my eyes on him at every moment - will I ever go out again?

There is 2 yrs between myself and one of my brothers and we get on fine...

We have exactly 2 years between ours (to with a fortnight) they are 6 (DS) and 4(DD) now, we have survived perfectly well, as have most of my ante-natal class who did the same.

Pluses:

They are close enough in age to share a lot of interests and not be too far apart developmentally now, ie they tend to like going to the same places and doing the same things.

DS cannot remember life before DD came along and adjusted pretty well.

Will DS walk in reins while you push a pushchair with one hand?

You get another maternity leave (if you have gone back to work) at a brilliant time to have fun and enjoy your 2-year old, I think DS benefitted hugely from this

Minuses:

You will probably have two in nappies for a while, might need 2 cots, 2 2nd stage car seats etc.

You have a spell when the older is still tantrummy/unable to fully articulate emotions etc while you are with a newborn. 2 year olds are often quite rigid about their routines and it is hard BF on demand, getting out of the house between all the various feeds and meals etc.

You have to make sure you never leave them alone together in the early days, eg to go to the loo, I used to take DD with me and put her on the bath mat, or if she was asleep, get DS to come with me and play with bathtoys etc

I think on the whole it is a very good age gap, it is quite hard early on, but I think different age gaps bring different problems. If I had my time again I wouldn't do it differently.

27 months between my two DS. DS1 was hard work all while I was pregnant, DS2 mostly fell in with DS1's routine after a coulpe of months. DS1 ignored the baby for about 10 months, which was very good. I like the age gap now, they are 3.8 and 1.4. It is a good gap and your two will settle into it. Good luck.

I have 2 yrs and 4 days then just under 22mo between my 3.

It is fine.

DS1 (oldest one) never really did tantrums; DD OTOH was hideous from about 15 mo to about 2.5 yr. The other children there or not made no difference really.

Nice things; no need to double buggy which smaller gap would necessitate; close enough to play together (a lot now they are older); close enough to be at school together; easier than bigger gap to entertain them all - eg craft activity at museum easier to manager with 3yo, 5yo and 7yo than with 11yo, 6yo and 2yo!

Much bigger gap would have been too far apart for my liking (tho of course you get what y're given don't you!) and a lot smaller might have been stressful tho I can see it's nice when they are older.

No.2 is due in 2 weeks, ds1 will be 28 mnths then. I think with all age gaps there are good and bad points. I just figured if I was up with one in the night/early morning, toys everywhere with one, doing toddler groups with one....may as well be doing it with two rather than waiting until one was off to school or into other things, and then having to split yourself in two.

I think it will be hard-ds1 has the last 2 weeks got really bad for going down to bed, but I suppose some regression is to be expected. I'm just looking forward to when they are 4 and 6 and we can do Disneyland and fun things like that, that they'll both be really into at the same time!!

Mine are 26 months apart.
They are now 10 and 8.
It works fine and really comes into its own when they are about 5 and 3. They play together all the time and it all gets an awful lot easier for you!

hi girlafraid I am in exactly the same place as you I am pregnant with DC #2 who will be born when DS is 24.5 mnths old. I read similar articles online about how this is the worst age gap etc and have thrown myself into a bit of a blind panic.
However, I have since been reassured by other Mums who have same gap and have managed a lot better than they initially thought they would.
My BIGGEST concern is that DS will be really jealous and upset that there is someone else sharing his mummy and will struggle to understand why this is happening. He is a bit clingy and doesn't like it at all when I hold other peoples babies.
I would welcome some tips from other Mums on the best way to deal with this and ensure he accepts his sibling.

I have never heard that this is the worst age gap before. There is 2 years between my eldest 2, they are now nearly 13 and 11.

I think it helps to involve the older child such as during nappy changes, getting them to get wipes etc for the new baby. I made sure I wasn't holding the new baby when big brother came to visit his wee sister in the hospital and generally tried to involve him as much as possible. He really enjoyed helping and loved the wee bits of responsibility he was given.

To be honest, I think it all depends on the personality of the child, whatever the age gap. It was the youngest who went through the clingy/jealous phase. My kids are very close and big brother was completely unfazed by the new arrival.

Good luck with everything

I agree that as they get older it's nice that they can share a lot of activities etc