spending week away from ds - do I let him get on with it or phone now and again?

[MaPrentice]

ds is 3.3 and going to his gps for a week. He will be fine though he finds it very hard to be away from me at eg nursery. I have no doubt that he will miss me although he will be given lots of love and cuddles and plenty of distracting activities.

so - do I phone him every day, every now and again or not at all?

I also thought about wrapping a few little presents for him to be given, eg one every couple of days, from Mummy. good idea or not?

I wouldn't worry about then presents - he'll get treats from his GPs, I'm sure. You could give him something of yours to sleep with - eg a soft toy, a hanky (clean) - and/ or draw a little picture with a message to put in his bag.

I would phone every day, but maybe not right before bed.

I used to sent a parcel of little gifts for my DS to open half way through the week when he stayed with grandparents.....he loved it.You are bound to phone to speak to the grandparents and you can use that to gauge whether it will be upsetting or not at the time.

what about him phoning you when he wants/needs to?

Ds (5yo) is going away with gps for a week next week and this is what we have decided on. It means he can decide when and how much contact to have.

They usually survive better than you do.

thanks all, that is helpful and reassuring. good idea about letting him phone me. do feel very wibbly about it, can't wait for the break but worried that he will be ok, he tells me that he loves me all the time, how much he misses me when he's been at nursery for the day. I know it's all 3yo manipulation but still can't help but worry that he will be all right. sob.

It is hard being away from them.

This is ds first time away for more than overnight (he stayed 2 nights at gps recently but saw us in middle as was giving birth to dd). I am very wibbly. Luckily as he is older he has been talking about it - he is very excited but also a bit worried about missing us. He seems happy wtih the idea of phoning us as he needs to.

Not sure I am going to cope - I miss him when he's away for one night, let alone a week of it!

He will be allright. It will be very good for him to know that there are other people who love him and are capable of comforting him. You can't avoid your DCs being upset, and he will carry inside himself a sense that you are thinking about him even when you are not there.

You have to trust the people he's with completely, and know that they will phone you if there's a problem, or if he needs to hear your voice.
It's much harder for you. Try not to be upset when he comes back and hasn't missed you.
< Remembers DS on holiday with grandparents. At the end of the week, he wanted to stay in Jersey forever. 'What about mummy? Won't you miss her?'
'I've got a photograph'

at photograph goblinchild!

you are right about the trust - I absolutely trust gps to look after him and love him, but they are so keen to give me the break that I think their view is that I should forget all about him for a week! I will need to be really firm about calling re problems or if he wants to speak to me.

Just point out that the trust you have is based on this, so they mustn't dissemble if there's a real problem or that trust will suffer.
Get him to bring you back a present too, I got a lovely stone with holes in it from the beach.