other peoples parenting skills.

[stitch]

my friend is a lovely person. but she has three spoilt brat kids who are quite badly behaved. if she wasnt my friend, then i know i wouldnt want ds1 interacting with her son.
but its her youngest who is the real nightmare. she's practically been throwing tantrums since she was born. but the problem is that my friend gives in to her, which just makes it all worse. and she ends up being really rude imo because of her dd. she doesnt seem to realise that it is going to get worse as she grows older. any ideas on what, if anything i can do to help?

Blimey, don't know, hard one. How about saying, with a smile, 'blimey you must be at your wits end with them when they're like this, have you tried the naughty step? ' and even if you haven't talk about how you discipline your DS when he gets bad. ????????????????

I don't think you can say anything unless she asks tbh. She is making a rod for her own back, she'll have to deal with it. If she asks of course, that's a different matter imo and then you can say 'well, what I do is.... because that means you're talking about your own style without criticising hers.

done all that sort of thing. once actually ended up putting her ddin the porch after having explained to her as nicely as possible that you dont do that in auntie's house. couldnt actually believe i did that, but my friend was really stressed, and so was i, she'd been screaming non stop for more than half an hour. what i actually wanted to do at the time was whack her.....

www, thats what my mom says, but its soooo hard to sit back and watch someone dig themselves into a deeper and deeper hole.

ohhh stitch, it sounds like you might just have to let her get on with it then. Either that or secretly arrange for super nanny to pay a visit!!
It must be horrid for you though.

Hi stitch
I think it is a problem most of us come across at some time, and it is really difficult when it is a friend.
If you think it cant go on without making your ds1 behave in the same way, then you might have to bite the bullet and say something.

It's so difficult isn't it? I don't think you can say anything unless she asks your opinion but you can subtleley (sp?) talk about how you have handled various situations

Its even worse when its your sister! Just spent stressful day with my sis 2 DN and DM&D. Most of time DM vv tense at DS kids behaviour
and DS reaction. DM&D left early!

They don't always get worse as they get older. My goddaughter was a terrible tantrum thrower at six - SIX! - but at 12 she's lovely and writes rather good poetry.
All my friend's three were 'spoilt' (partly because she lost her first child at birth and couldn't bear to make her kids unhappy) and they've all turned out fine. They are all exceptionally bright and fun.

hi all, sorry had to go last night as dh needed the puter.
i think that is what i must try to do, and lets hope it turns out all right in the future