How do you deal with SO MANY QUESTIONS that they make your ears bleed?

[bintofbohemia]

Before I had children I thought I'd never be the sort of parent to fob a child off, I imagined myself answering everything and havign lovely intelligent chats along the way.

Then I had DS1 who has just turned four and oh my good god. He asks the same question 19,487679 times, even if you give a sensible answer, then he'll ask it again. Some of his questions are absolutely insane, some totally nonsensical and yet he expects a coherent answer immediately which he then wants to find fault with and argue about. Yesterday, whilst trying to get a wasp to get off DS2's face (no mean feat, am shit scared of wasps) DS1 carried on the whole time:

"Mummy, does FL begin with FLY? Does it mummy? Mummy?"

It takes every fibre of my being not to yell at him "Will you just bloody shut up for three seconds please!"

What do I do? Obviously he's bright and trying to learn but he is literally shredding my brain and I lovel nothing more than 7pm when it all goes quiet.

Help!

Heh heh, another idiot here who was honestly looking forward to this phase and planning honest, intelligent, age-appropriate answers. Not like those naughty mums on the bus who just ignore their little darlings .

I just get to "Because" in the end.

"Why?"
"Because"
"But wwwhhhyyy"
"Because! Because! Because!"

Zapostrophe - fortunately, google has the answers to life's deep questions:

Can Jesus travel faster than the speed of light - the answer.

Ah - just thought of another variant:

Context is first time camping this weekend.

DD (2.1) "where's camping, Mummy?
Me: "On a campsite, darling"
"where's campsite?
"In Henley"
"Who is Henry?"
"No, Henley"
"Where's camping?
"In Henley"
"No, camping Mummy"
"In a campsite, in Henley"
"Nooo Mummy, where's campsite?"

etc .

That's really weird, I was going to start a thread about this today, some of these posts have had me in fits especially the people cake :o

TV doesn't work for us as you just get questions about what's happening in the show!

I had the 'dat called' phase recently with DD2 but not for long and I miss it, it was so cute. Now she is starting to copy DD1 as they are quite close in age so I have why's that aren't even why's

Think it is combination of curiousity and making sense of the world with wanting attention. I try to explain but often turn it round and ask her what she thinks, to which the answer is usually 'because it is' which shows you what my third type of repsponse is....

Someone suggested you just treat the question as a conversation opener, so when she says eg 'Why are leaves green?' I say 'Yes they are green aren't they' and then talk a bit about leaves and trees, it can help you avoid having to work out an answer to some of the more difficult questions by just opening it into a topic.

Zapostrophe - loving your post. God is cropping up a lot in our house, too.
And death. Cue the following conversation:

DS (to younger dd, walking down the stairs): Be really, really careful on the stairs. Otherwise you will fall right down the the bottom and your head will fall OFF and then you will be DEAD forever. And then you will go to heaven and your skin will fall back down to earth (????) and Jesus will look after you.

ME: Why will your skin fall off?

DS (in withering tone): Because the sun is really, really hot, Mummy. It is made of gas and fire, you know.

ME: Oh.

Tempertemper

Everything in this house is answered with one of the following:

If you can find it, you can have it. (run out orange juice, dinosaurs etc.)

Yes, for your birthday. (requests for ridiculous presents, hopefully forgotten by the time December wheels round)

Let's ask Daddy when he gets home.

Yes that is very interesting isn't it/ Yes you're probably right darling (tries to change subject by pointing out something sparkly)

I didn't get the 'why is the blah' or 'what is a blah?'
I got the 'are we going to blah', 'when are we going to the blah', 'can we go to the blah?' It's such fun when walking around the shops [face melts].
Sometimes if I go down into the tunnel vision of the child and say 'You said blah, blah' and I said 'tomorrow'. And then add, for good measure, 'you can go to blah blah when I finish sawing off my leg' kind of thing. Sometimes that works, after repeating three or four times.
It's funny because sometimes you zone out and then they say something interesting and you mentally screech to a halt and say 'what, what was that about your teacher giving you a prize?!?' and try to rewind them.

But there are so many times you can say "Because", "Why do you think" and "I JUST DON'T KNOW ALRIGHT!"

We are at the stage where I am expected to know all about the vehicular comings and goings of everyone else in the entire country, to the point where I dread leaving the house:

-Mummy, look, a man on a bike! Why?
-Mummy, a red Smart car coming down our hill! Why? Why is it coming down our hill, mummy? Why?
-Mummy, that man got on a bus! Why?
-Mummy, a lady and a black dog! Why?
-Mummy, that man's parked there. Why? WHY, mummy? Where's he going?? WHY?
-Mummy, a car like our old Skoda! Why? Why has that lady got a car like our old Skoda, mummy?

He is also obsessed with two-door vs. four-door cars at the moment. Every single vehicle we encounter, all day, every day - 'Mummy, that car has got a door at the front and a door at the back! Why? Mummy, THAT car has got a door at the front and no at the back. Why? WHY, mummy? Mummy, thst car has got a door at the front and a door at the back! Why? Mummy! Mummy! LOOK! That car has got a door at the front and a door at the back! Why?'

His other speciality is the circular dead-end:
-I love taxis! Why do I love taxis, mummy?
-I don't know, darling - why do you love taxis?
-I don't.

Spiderlight traffic police career in the future for him then!

Last week we were playing in the garden and started pouring. Ushered kids inside then I went out to get in the washing which they stood and watched me collect in the pouring rain. I came in and had wet hair.

"why you wet?"

Who ever knew that being the world's greatest authority on everything ever was going to be so little fun? It sounded good.

Zap, "um, it doesn't mention it in the bible. He'd become infinitely heavy and time would stop if he did travel at the speed of light. It's not an area where there's been much research" cracked me up no end.

Here's one .......Ask your teacher!

We kind of like answering questions I suppose it should be why you want to be an early childhood teacher. Although sometimes I want to scream to.

Now it is my time to talk or now it is quiet /thinking /relaxation time until the clock says ....can work.

Phew! We have this too. Endless 'why?' and, when I don't know the answer,

DS: Why don't you know the answer, Mummy?
Me: Um, because I don't know everything
DS: Why?

And, his new favourite... 'How do you make..?'

DS: How do you make cars?
Me: Um, in a factory
DS: Why?

And
DS: How do you make butter?

Cue much googling, buying of cream & shaking cream in a jar for 20 mins to make the bloody butter. DS decided he no longer wanted to know how butter is made & sod off to play with Lego while I am left shaking the bloody cream . When my sister visited later and saw the HOMEMADE butter, she asked DS how he made it and he didn't remember

I'm so glad you're all here with me, I was feeling slightly churlish about not enjoying every living second of DS1.

(And I have just been asked how to say tomato in Egyptian.)

Grokle - I remember making home made butter at infant school... how can he not remember on the same day?! Hehehehe

I too have resorted to ask your teacher, especially on the school run.

I have trouble when they have already discussed things with DH.
Mum are Zombies really real? (they like the thriller video)
Me - No, they are just pretend for movies and stuff. Don't worry.
DS - But Daddy said they are real, it's people who've had a special poison. And he said there is one living in the shed.

Why Why would you tell a child who believes everything you say that we have a zombie in the shed??

One here as well, this has gone on for sometime and she isn't letting up.

DD - Where did the first people come from?
Me - No one really knows
DD - They must
Me - sigh
DD - Teacher said some people think from God and some people thing from Apes, so how did God get made
Me - it's such a long time ago that there is no real answer.
DD- No one thought to write it down
Me - seems not
DD - Well thats not a good enough answer
Me - well sometimes there is no answer
DD - as she walks away - grown ups know nothing ........
She's 6.

Love it! Am cracking up laughing at that one :-)

Ds1 (3.8) is going through a phase where your answers must fit his opinions.

So a recent (and typical) conversation while waiting for the bus...
Ds1: Who's that man?
Me: Which man?
Ds1: That man.
Me: I don't know which man you mean. Can you describe him? What colour coat is he wearing?
Ds1: Blue.
Me: I see him but I don't know who he is.
Ds1: Why?
Me: Because I don't know everyone.
Ds1 Where is he going?
Me: Maybe he's going home for his lunch, like us.
Ds1: Why?
Me: Maybe he's hungry.
Ds1: He's going to the library.
Me: I don't think so, he's getting on the bus, so he'll be going away from the library.
Ds1: No mummy (with stern look). He's going to the library.

Cue sniggers from the other passengers.

DD1 is 5.5, DD2 is 4.5 and both can generate questions at an alarming rate but for different reasons: DD1 actually wants to learn, so will follow answers with new questions. DD2 wants to ensure that Mummy's and Daddy's attention are directed towards her, but couldn't care less about the answer, so can repeat the same question a million times. Hence different attitudes to answering them: DD1 gets as much information as I estimate her brain can process and then a "I think if I tell you any more, your head is going to become too big for your sunhat and you'll have thoughts dribbling out of your ears. Shall we give it a break until after supper and do some drawing instead? I promise to keep answering!". And more often than not, she will come back after supper for another session, but by that stage my brain had a chance to recover a bit.
DD2 usually gets a "well, what do YOU think happens to food in your tummy? I did tell you yesterday." - to make her work for the answers and attention, and to ensure that her knowledge is actively reinforced (or corrected. I don't think tiny diggers make holes in our stomach to push the mash potato through. On the other hand, I don't think this hypothesis was ever officially tested).
It is very tiring at times, but I hope they never stop. Would any of you rather have a sullen kid with dull eyes and no interest in the WHYs and HOWs of this world?

No-one has said they'd rather have a sullen kid with dull eyes and no interest in the WHYs and HOWs of this world. It is just quiet wearing at times to answer a continual barrage of questions, especially when the interrogator does not listen to the answer but bombards you with more questions before you have had time to respond to the first.

I work with SN children who cannot talk - I know how lucky I am to have DS - it's truly wonderful that he is so fascinated by everything and everyday I am reminded just how lucky we are. But I think a lot about wine.

The death questions reminded me of this conversation i had with dd(5) whilst hanging the washing last week.

dd: Mommy, when people and cats die they go to Heaven right?
me: (feeling the need to uphold the catholic doctrine she's taught in school) Yes dear
dd: Mommy, when you die and go to Heaven is there no one to look after you?
me: Well I suppose there's angels aren't there, they probably look after the dead people
dd: OOOOh, I like angels. I wish i could die now and go to heaven.
me: No you don't sweetie, you're too young to die.
dd: Yes, I really do. I want to die and see the angels.
me: (wishing i'd depicted a lonely and scary Heaven) You don't... the angels would be cross at you for dying before you're supposed to... You have to live a long life first or they'll be mad
dd: Oh. Ok. Look mommy.... a butterfly! I like butterflies. I wish i was a butterfly.

Oooh, this takes me back. What brilliant posts!

From memory:
DC: Nanny, why is the sun?
Me: That's a profound question, DC. What is the sun, do you think?
DC: It's a perfound question!
Me: Yes, "Why is the sun" is a profound question ...
DC: It's in the sky.
Me: The sun is in the sky, that's right, DC.
DC: Why is the sky, Nanny?
Me: Is that a profound question?
DC: You're so BORING, you don't know anything ...

I'm sure it's bad practise to play riddles with small children

Forgot to add - I was doing it in French