Death of a pet

[funtimewincies]

Our young cat is seriously ill (probable kidney failure) and is unlikely to survive. She's being taken into the vets tomorrow to be put on a drip and to have blood taken but I've been warned that the outlook isn't good.

I'm looking for some advice on explaining this to my 3 year old ds1. Unfortunately our previous cat died when ds1 was 18 months old (a liver tumour) and he didn't really have much of an idea of what had happened. Although we've only had this cat for a couple of years, ds1 is very attached to her. She is very young cat and it looks as if she has a congenital problem (she was a rescue cat and came from a house of many cats, so inbreeding extremely likely).

I've tried to tell him tonight that our cat is very ill and needs to go to the hospital. His response was 'never mind, it'll be all right'. I don't know whether to tell him that the vet might not be able to make her better. It's highly likely that she won't come home again .

Any advice gratefully received.

Everything I've read says it's really important to be as honest as possible about death with small children. Just use simple language and answer any questions he asks.

If you do not believe in an after life it is probably best to steer clear of telling him about heaven, even if it feels like the easy option at the moment, it can make things more complicated in the long run.

At 3 he will be too young to understand the concept of death, so be prepared for him to expect to see the cat again. I would deffinately try to warn him that he may not see the cat again before you take him to the vet to make it less sudden.

Sorry to hear you're having a rubbish time. Good luck.

We just went through this talk with my DD (3) when one of our gerbils died. DD was VERY attached to them, particularly the one that passed away (typical!).

We explained to her that Cinnamon was old and tired, and that her body stopped working. We popped the body in a little box, and buried her in the garden, letting DD choose a small stone to place over her.

The only downside is that now DD goes to see Cinnamon every time she is in the garden and tells her that she can come back inside when she's better. I have to explain every time that Cinnamon won't be coming back and won't be getting better.

Thankfully, DD sort of acceptes this and I think she understands in a very basic way.

So sorry to hear about your pusscat being ill, hope its not a serious as first thought.

Thank you for your kind replies .

Well, she's still here and doing better now she's hooked up to a drip.

I don't believe in an afterlife, so it's the finality which I'm afraid of having to explain. Ds1 gave our cat a stroke before she went in her carrier and I tried to explain again that, although the vet would do his best, she was very ill and might not get better.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Really pleased to hear the good news. Keep us posted. xxx