What's the etiquette for paying when you take out someone elses child ?

[rookiemater]

Just musing over this as took DS's little friend out to the cinema today. I was offered money by the parents but as I have asked the child to come along as a guest my view is that we are happy to pay.

It's not huge amounts we are talking about, childs entrance to the cinema or the cost of a soft play and we have only one DC and both work so have enough to cover it. Plus DS really enjoys it when he has a little friend along so it's a bonus for us.

I don't expect parents to reciprocate although it's nice if DS can go round and play at their house.

It's not a major issue but just wondered what other people do in these circumstances.

If I had invited someone else's child then I too would pay.

If you invite a child to come with yours to the cinema, softplay or anywhere else with an entrance fee, then surely its up to you to pay.

I am the same as you, I always pay for the other child, as like you, I feel I invited them so it's my treat.

It works this way with DD's friends too. If she goes along to something they will pay.

I once heard an exchange at the school gates where a parent charged another parent £2 as they were planning on taking the child for a happy meal. I could never do that.

I expect to pay when we invite other DCs to come (unless it's been arranged in advance that each parent will pay for tickets etc), but usually offer at least a contribution when my DC go out with other people.

I think the general approach is that you pay, the other parent says "Oh, can I pay you for little Billy's ticket?" and you say "No, really, it was no trouble." Then everyone feels that honour has been satisfied.

Ok that's good, glad to know I'm doing what others are. I just didn't want the other parents to feel beholden to invite DS on excursions because their family budget may be different from our own.

glad to have seen this, DD1 has been invited to the cinema this friday with her friend, wasn't sure how to manage the £££ side of things (esp as it is her dad who is taking them and he might not be quite sure what the norm is either!)

i was going to give her £5 for some ice-cream/sweets for both of them. sound ok?

I always give DS money when he is invited out to friend's trip,so that he can contribute to the extras.

Agree with *professor" I would both always pay and always offer to pay.

I think that sounds about right amidaiwish but if the parents have read the thread then they will hand it back

Well Elizabeth the parent at the school gate may simply not have had any spare money

Nice if you can afford to be generous, but not everybody can and not everybody expects it either.

Very true, but it was after the event, one parent went up to the other and asked for the £2 to cover the happy meal they bought the day before, I think it's different before the event, but the parent being billed was obviously quite embarrassed.

Yes I pay for both. Its nice if the friend has money for popcorn though.

Well it's quite like inviting someone to a birthday party and then demanding an entrance fee isn't it. Of course you shouldn't ask for or require payment if you invite someone.