How would you have reacted to this?

[clottedcream]

Colleague at work took her young granddaughter away recently with a friend to a uk resort for a few days in a huge hotel with many floors.

I said what did you do in the evenings expecting them to have had an eveing meal a walk perhaps then back to hotel but they ate then put the GD to bed waited for her to drop off then went to the bar, checking "every 30 mins"....my jaw dropped, words wouldnt come out and I just was totally gobsmacked but now cant stop thinking about it I even had anihtmare the other night

Im so angry and wanted to grab her and shout NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That ringing the room thing; that's sometimes all that 'listening service' some hotels offer is.... you leave the phone in the room off the hook and use other phones around the hotel restaurant/bar etc to listen into your room.

Wouldn't do it myself but can see why someoen from a generation where this was common might. Wonder whether the mother knew?

Think OP's anger is a little odd. Disagreement is fair enough, but 'I'm so angry and wanted to grab her and shout NO!!!!!!!' is weird given the child is nothing to do with her.

I too felt like op - my child is same age, its unecessary that's what is so annoying

MN Bingo! dillydally wins!

If a child is in a room and all the windows and doors are locked, then I dont really see how they can be at great risk of abduction. Also we have things called smoke alarms nowaday, so if there is a fire we are alerted.

I personally wouldnt leave my child alone unless I had a baby monitor, but it is not 'wrong' or 'negletful' to do so!

Myabe its abuction by aliens the OP is worried about

well it is totally unnessary just for the sake of a drink

Actually isnt it against the law to leave a child under a certain age?

no, it ain't. There's no set age. Depends entirely on the individual child and the individual circumstances i.e. what provision you have made for their safety. Clearly anyone who left a three year old in a house on their own is likely to get into trouble. Someone who leaves a 3yo in a hotel room asleep while they are still in the same building with a baby listening service should be OK, although personally it's not something I'd do.

My parents used to do this when we were young, probably 5, 7 and 9
we watched tv while they had dinner downstairs I think
never a problem
we knew where they were if we needed them

"Also we have things called smoke alarms nowaday, so if there is a fire we are alerted."

Who's "we", though? A member of staff happening to walk past? The neighbours who assume that if a fire alarm if going off, not only must someone just be smoking or have burnt something in the kitchen, but that they are probably also already dealing with it? No good if yours are in the bar too.

What happened to being responsible enough to be there to make sure a fire isn't started - either by the child or anything else - or to get out of control in the first place?

My sister thought it would be "okay" a matter of minutes before I found my 2 year old walking up the road with a stranger. Don't ever think it can't happen to you.

Same things with burglar and car alarms: people automatically think they must have gone off by accident and leave it rather than running to find out if anything bad has happened.

We had a home visit from a lovely firefighter. Called a home safety check or something - anyway, free from your local fire service. He talked ds through a fire plan, about what to do if the smoke alarm goes off in the middle of the night and so on. Was great. No idea how much information ds would retain in a real emergency, mind you, but at least it's a start...

mumi I was referring to a hotel situation as in the OP. AFAIK all hotel rooms are fitted with smoke detectors which go to a central alarm, very hard not to hear I would imagine.

Also leaving a 5 year old in a secure room in the same building as you is very different to leaving a 2 year old somewhere.

As I said, I personally wouldn't leave either of my children in a hotel room, but I can see why people do as it is mainly our nations incredible sense of paranoia that stops us.

Oh gosh my parents did this. They were teetotal responsible parents but they would leave us in our room, show us how to press the call reception button on the phone if we needed them and then go and have a meal and a sit downstairs in the hotel.

We used to play i spy or sing songs or read books. Dad used to sneak back up and bring us their after dinner mints to eat or just say hello and check we were fine.

I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't have the energy to be horrified and having nightmares about other people doing it.

omg! I would never ever do this with any of my children-let alone someone elses. If I found out grandparents had done this I would be furious! Why offer to take your grandchild away if you really would rather spend time in the bar?

Anything could happen to her in 30mins, in a strange, unchildproofed place.

Have just remembered, my Dad did this when I was 10 and I was really scared! First time I'd been abroad, first time I'd been on holiday without my Mother (post-divorce)... he put me to bed in the hotel room and I got really scared and was convinced I could hear bed bugs (think it must have been my own pulse). Took every ounce of courage I possessed to creep to the door and run downstairs to the dining room - far worse than having a nightmare and running to your parents' bedroom at home and that's bad enough. I was hideously embarrassed about being seen in public in my nightie but so scared I had to do it anyway.

Now I've remembered that, even more reason not to do it to a younger child. Although possibly I was just a wimp.

(Am sure I'd have been OK if I'd had my sister, though, I just wasn't used to being completely on my own at night in a strange place. We'd always done self-catering holidays so adults were always in the next room.)