Anyone elses DS or DD got a bad temper that makes them nasty and aggresive?

[clottedcream]

My ds (5.6yrs) has since schools hols and probably the week before got one hell of a nasty temper on him. He gets so angry.

I put it down to tiredness but tonight has shocked me something happened (friend cancelled playdate at park) and he went ballistic, really angry, nasty, shouting, banging around.

I tired to explain how i understood how frustrated he was and how he was very disappointed etc... but then he got worse, screaming, crying, shouting. I decided enough was enough and put him to bed...again screaming crying temper etc...

Managed to calm him and get him off to sleep but ~Im getting really worried...the odd time when a friend has "wind him up" he will loose his temper and the same happens Ive tried to teach him to ignore this person but tonight was the worse Ive ever seen him.

Does anyone have any techniques I could teach him when he feels angry and frustrated? I tried to explain to him when the nasty thing in his head stars to kick off to take deep breathes and blow out the angry ... not sure if this is right, was even thinking of going to see health visitor.

Can anyone help me please

oh christ is it just mine ds????

Bless him perhaps its normal for this age - rush of testosterone??? Not sure I only have girlies who yes get a strop on but storm upstairs and wont talk!!!

DD 9.3 has a foul temper, she explodes over the slightest thing and refuses to apologise. In the past I've put it down to moving to a new country/school etc but now I think it is puberty

My DS in 5.3 and sounds quite similar. No advice but just wanted to say I feel for you. We do the blow out the angry too.

I have also started to hold him firmly (my arms round his whole body/arms and tell him I'm not letting go till he calms down - it has worked thus far. You can't talk/reason with him he's in such a rage.

I hope you get some good advice coz I'll be stealing it too!

not many replies here - perhaps we are the minority - everyone elses kids are a-ok!!!

My dd2 is 5.6 and also gets into real rages. She's been pretty full on since a baby and we've always said it's a phase that she'll grow out of only for her to metamorphosise into a new incarnation of devil child . She'll do that Yosemite Sam thing of clenching her fists and gritting her teeth whilst going "Oooohhhh!"! If it wasn't so annoying it would be funny. She also scratches and hits as a little extra. Don't know where she gets it from as we don't punish physically. Also neither ds or dd1 are like this. It's becoming a real problem but don't know what to do to stop it. Will be watching this thread with interest.

My DD1 age 7 has a foul temper and has done for a few years. I can't help though as i probably deal with it very badly and end up loosing my temper with her

We've had problems with our dd for nearly 8 years. One night when being told to turn off the tv because it was bedtime she rang 999. Then, because the controller heard a child's voice, they sent the police round. She broke dh's glasses in a tantrum when 5/6 for the same reason.

We went to CAHMS who didn't help at all, especially when they dropped us for 6 months after we made a complaint to a hospital that was on the same site, and the hospital called in Child Protection. The education welfare officer told us that she was shocked at how useless CAMHS were compared to others she had known.

Last year she spent 10 days in hospital, after she started attacking us and doing real damage.

She is now being looked after by a multi-disciplinary centre, free - we're in France, that also deals with school problems like learning problems, speech therapy etc, although she can run rings around us with the psychologists as her French is now better than mine in some areas.

She will be 13 in 2 months and we were dreading the summer holidays. However, she has spent most of the 2 months in her room talking on her pc and working really hard to learn the guitar. She has said that writing songs really helps her express her feelings, something that has always been a problem. Hates herself too, which doesn't help.

Finally, I hope we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The best thing to do is to ask for help and keep asking. Then, if nothing has worked, ask some more. Just a final thought - dd's problems started with bullying at school. Could there be anything like that going on?