Siblings fighting

[azazello]

I have a 3yo DD and a 9mo DS. DS is crawling, standing and trying to walk so into everything. He desperately wants to play with DD and her toys - she isn't keen.

Up to a point I can manage it and keep them either playing nicely or apart BUT DD has started really lashing out at DS. He was following her up the stairs (I was behind him) and she was trying to kick him and hit him with her umbrella. If he goes and stands next to her she pushes him so he falls over etc.

What should I do? I tried explaining to DD and sitting her down/ taking toys away. This is met by an epic tantrum and them blaming DS. I've also tried ignoring DD and sorting out DS but she then seems to think its funny...

What should I do? I feel like I'm just umpiring at the moment and its a bit miserable.

Hi azazello, I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

I have a 3.7yo DD and a 15 month old DS and we have been through (and still are) exactly the kind of battles you are describing. I never expected sibling rivalry to be so fierce so young!

I have found that I had to get tough with my DD (1 warning and then naughty mat) for any kind of hitting, kicking or pushing as I found explaining that it wasn't nice etc etc had absolutely no effect and if she received no consequences for her actions then it was teaching DS that this kind of behaviour was acceptable. (the crunch point came when DD hit DS, so he hit her back ) We now have just the occaisonal "but I was just helping DS get off the bed" incidents .

Once your DS can walk and get around better by himself then you will find that the amount of umpiring required decreases as he will just wander off and find something else to play with.

Thanks. I'm hoping its a passing phase so that is reassuring! Its always worst when we're cooped up in the house so roll on some more sunny days!