I quite seriously wish I didn't have kids tonight.

[nickytwotimes]

I am sick of ds1's whining. He's 4.
I am sick of ds 2's (baby) constant crying (he has reflux).

ALl I do all day is try to stop the crying. I walk for fuvcking miles with the pram, I cuddle him, I feed him, I rock him. DH is at home full time atm (teacher - hols) and I still can't handle them. Mu Mum takes ds 1 a lot too, but I still feel the same.

My life would be nice if I didn't have them, or if I only had one of them to deal with. I know everything passes, but I can't cope withth enow.

How old is DS2? It's really hard. DS1 is now 2.6 and my DS2 is 9 months old and I am only just started to enjoy being with them than stressing over the day. I shouted at DS1 A LOT in the early days with the two of them too. I was a real screaming banshee... I am hoping he won't remember any of it. My DS2 had mild reflux too. I remember one evening, DS2 had thrown up his last feed before bedtime twice and I was attempting to feed him for the third time. There was nothing clean in the house (he had gone through about 5 babygros that day, went through several towels used for mopping the vomit, the carpet and sofa were both still covered in puke). I was screaming at DS1 to stand away from the puke and that was the state DH came in to after work. It was HORRID. And I just wanted to run away then... Or tender in my resignation as their mummy but don't think anyone would have wanted them... It really will pass. Now the two of them sort of play together. And their developing relationship really makes me smile. Hugs to you!

ds 2 is nearly 3 mths and showing no sign of improving.
I had no idea that a baby could cry so much and sleep so little.
Nothiing I do pleases him.
I shout a lot too and break inanimate objects.
I am CONSTANTLY stressed and feel like I will explode.

i could have written what you have when dd2 was 3 months. terrible terrible time. but now dd2 is 2yo, they're playing together beautifully. it's SO much easier.

hang in there. this too shall pass. i promise i promise i promise.

Thnkas for the posts guys.

It is utterly hellish.

We have no life, any of us.

nicky i think you were on the June antenatal thread? I remember your name...

Anyway I now also have an 11 week old with reflux & a ds1 who is 2.9 - it is really really REALLY difficult - much more so than i imagined it would be and in totally different ways. I look with envy at people with one dc in the way i did when i had ds1 and looked at people without kids, I really miss my relationship with ds1 which i feel that we will never get back.

So not much help really but just that I know exactly how you're feeling tonight so you're not alone! Have you been to the paediatrician about the reflux? We now have ranitidine for ds2 and it has really helped, there are actually periods in the day now where he is awake and not either crying or feeding - a miracle.

If the reflux is not improving, perhaps your DS needs a higher dose or different medicines. I went through what felt like absolute hell with DDs reflux. With hindsight I should have been more proactive with the GP and requested higher doses sooner. Rememeber that the dosages of most drugs for infants are related to body weight, so as your DS's weight increases the dosage should be checked regularly (you can get a good indication of the correct dose for his weight from the cryingoverspiltmilk website).

With my DD teething made her reflux worse - she got her first tooth at 13 weeks. Finally at 11 months (while teething) her reflux became so bad that her throat ulcerated from all the stomach acid in it, then she started coughing up loads of blood. This meant she was rapidly switched to much higher doses of other drugs to effectively stop all stomach acid until her throat recovered. I think this could have been avoided if she had been on the right dose of ranitidine, but stupidly I had been thinking that the best thing would be to keep the dose low.

I am not writing this to scare you (DD is totally fine now), but just an example of why it is important to keep pestering your GP until your DS gets the treatment that works for him.

As you know it will pass. But in the meantime try to get some time away from the crying. Can your DH take him and DS1 out for a walk tomorrow so you get time to yourself?

Just take each day as it comes... Honestly, if you make it through the day (and night) and everyone is intact, you are doing well. I know it sounds awful but I used to count off the days of DS2 (he's 3 months, he's 20 weeks etc) because I know when we get to a certain age, things will start to get easier. For me, it was when DS2 was 7 months old and he stopped throwing up.

His meds were changed and increased recently by the paediatric consultant. None of them are any fucking good.
I am so bloody angry today.
Another night and day from hell.

I HAVE NO LIFE.

I can;t take any mpore.

his oseophagus was burnt befor eht emeds, yes.. He was 4 weeks old.

nicky Is there nothing they can do for the poor little guy? What do you mean 'his oseophagus was burnt before the meds'? Whatever happened sounds awful. Is there anyway you can get a break. Let Dad have them both for a couple of hours and you sneak off somewhere to regain your sanity. Just a couple of hours sleep or peace and quiet will seriously help. Take care. You sound really blue. :( Wish I could help.

I don't know what to say to you other than it will all get better. My little one - once they found the best combination of meds for him settled a lot. It did take months. Once he calmed down the others got some of my attention back and they stopped fighting and whining!
How long ago did they change his meds? If it was over 14 days and there is no difference, ring the consultants sec and tell them its not working.

thanks.

having a good day today and speaking to paeds again soon.

his oesophagus was burnt bb stomch acid, poor soul.

where are you nicky? Have you spoke to your HV or GP not about the kids, but about how YOU are feeling. You are not alone. Keep posting here, we'll all listen.

ta.
hv good, gp rubbish!

Glad you're having a good day today. It might not seem possible at the moment, but you will start to get more good days than bad days. DD really only started to improve at about 4 months (this was when we started weaning - don't know if that made the difference or it was just coincidence).

nicky, it does pass, and I'm an old lady with four grown up kids and five grandchildren. But you do need to get even a couple of hours to yourself, whether it's sleeping or having a lovely bath, just going for a walk on your own, a wander round the shops, or whatever.

I wish I'd had someplace like this back in the days when I felt so alone in the same situation you're in now.

If HV is good, lean on her, it's her job to support you or get you the support you need.

tell me off if I am not being helpful - but have you considered cranio-sacral therapy for your baby?

thanks again folks.
things a bit better atm still.