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Parenting

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Original poster

introducing a dummy at 11 months......

21 replies

fairycakes · 25/08/2005 20:32

i kind of know the answer to this question, but need to be told, and also some good answers to repeat to dp.

(also i dont really know much about dummies so if this is a really stupid or outragous-unthinkable question- i apologise!!)

dd is 11.5 months - she is a "wingy" baby and always has been - when she was newborn we tried her with a dummy, and a few times after until she was about 3 months, but she was unable to keep it in her mouth and we ended up having to hold it in place for her, which is obviously not at all practical so in the end we sacked it off. dp is always saying - do you think we should have persevered with the dummy as she does cry a LOT for no reason and we always think maybe she needs something to suck on etc.

anyway today, she found a dummy in her cupboard and stuck it straight in her mouth - as if she does it all the time! and i have never seen her look more pleased with hersefl OR be so quiet and content as she is a real handful most of the time. she actually played on her own for half an hour before i took it off her then she was hysterical.

would i really live to regret giving her a dummy now? is it REALLY that hard to get them off dummies? dp is all for it - especially as we are going to a wedding all day tomorrow and we were really panicking about how she will behave etc.....

HELP!!!!

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SleepySuzy · 25/08/2005 20:42

I do think it is a little pointless personally, if she has managed so far. I am trying to wean my dd off hers.

Original poster

fairycakes · 25/08/2005 20:44

how old is your dd sleepysuzy? i know your right it is pretty pointless, but then i keep thinking of how lovely it would be sometimes if there was a little tiny bit of peace!! god that sounds really awful doesnt it.

OP posts:

SleepySuzy · 25/08/2005 20:46

No, I know what you mean, she is 19 months. She only had a dummy because dp was in and out of hospital for the first 12 months of her life, and I gave her one in desperation one night, when she was screaming in the car on the way home.

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SleepySuzy · 25/08/2005 20:46

from hospital

Original poster

fairycakes · 25/08/2005 20:48

thats the thing - i wasnt sure really when people start trying to wean them off them, so i thought this is probably a really daft question if its around the age of 1. thanks

OP posts:

SleepySuzy · 25/08/2005 20:49

No prob, what will you do then?

Original poster

fairycakes · 25/08/2005 20:53

gos i dont know. the right answer is throw it away as im sure she will have forgotten about it tomorrow. but i keep thinking about the wedding an how i really really need her to be good tomorrow. its a friend from school getting married. we are only 22 and everyone from school was shocked about me having a baby as im the only one, and also about her getting married as they think we are too young. but i havent seen any of thems ince leaving school so am nervous enough about that, but i really dont want dd playing up as i can see them thinking things like thank god thats not me with a baby or i wish that kid would shut up. i know u shouldnt care what people think but i want them to see her on a good day, not a bad one if you get me!!

OP posts:

SleepySuzy · 25/08/2005 20:54

You could just let her have it for the ceremony, and then bin it!

Original poster

fairycakes · 25/08/2005 20:57

do you think that would work, what if she then started playing up coz she wanted it? maybe i could take it "just in case" it gets really bad and i may have to resort to it, then throw it away and the next day its never to be seen again...!!

OP posts:

MumOnaMission · 25/08/2005 21:27

Hi fairycakes. When my dd was born I was adamant she was not going to have a dummy but she suckled on me so much I was really sore so I tried her with a dummy and it meant I got a break and some peace. I've never regretted it and I know my next baby will have one from the word go. She was very reluctant to let it go, however, when she was 3 we were buying her a wendy house and said that it was only for big girls and big girls don't have dummies. They all went in the bin and I was amazed how easy it was.

So, after all that, I suppose it depends how long you would be comfortable with her having it (i.e. up to what age) as to how easy it will be to take it away. Perhaps if you limit it to so long per day she wouldn't get too dependent on it. I'm just speaking my mind here - I don't really know if that would work as I didn't limit my dd until she was about 2.5. To me, if it keeps her happy I think it's well worth it. Ok yes she has managed so far without it and she will carry on "managing" but, well, you've seen what a difference it can make.

MaloryTowers · 25/08/2005 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 25/08/2005 21:35

none of mine had a dummy - not becuae i had a pius aversion just becuae they wouldnt take them.

i came to the conclusion that kids make noise

dont bother

Original poster

fairycakes · 25/08/2005 23:10

LOL mumonamission - reception class!

OP posts:

SleepySuzy · 25/08/2005 23:13

Like your wendy house idea moam

pablopatito · 26/08/2005 11:15

Well, DS is only 4 months but loves his dummy. It calms him down when he's stressed, or tired, or windy. I'm a big fan of them. The way I look at it is he can't smoke, or drink alcohol, or sratch his testicals, or pick his nose, or eat chocolate, or do any of the bad things I do when I'm stressed or tired and need to comfort myself, so why deny him the one thing he can do, suck?

SleepySuzy · 26/08/2005 11:16

Nice one Pablo

Twiglett · 26/08/2005 11:18

I certainly wouldn't

highlander · 26/08/2005 11:23

PMSL pablo

sweetkitty · 26/08/2005 11:35

DD wouldn't take one either and I threw then away, I wouldn't give her one now either. DD sucks her thumb when she is tired or having a cuddle which I'm not bothered about it's not constant (she wouldn't be able to babble constantly if she did, shes 13mo).

For tomorrow what about getting a few cheap new toys and stuffing them in your bag for her to amuse herself bring them out one by one throughout the day.

Try not to worry babies at this age don't behave bless them I'm sure she will be fine and charm everyone who meets her, have a good day

lunarx · 26/08/2005 12:02

when ds was really teething around 8 and 9 months it was suggested to me to give him a dummy, when he refused one as an infant. i never did. and i wouldn't now.

my ds can be whingey as all get out sometimes, but its all to do with coping. if she whinges at the wedding, someone will have to take her out of the church... good luck!!!

MumOnaMission · 26/08/2005 23:13

pablo. i love the way you put it. so true.

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