Do you think my ds is very spoilt

[tevion]

We went swimming yesterday there was myself. my ds aged 9, my grown up niece,and her little niece who is aged just 3.
I have had concerns before about some of the behaviour that ds has displayed whether it be towards me, others or about other children.
Anyway a little boy at the swimming baths wanted to play with the 3 years old in our party and ds was getting wound up about it wispering in her ear not to give it to him.
At one point the little boy who was aged about 2 did have the ring and was playing with it ds did not like it and started moaning constantly at me that he wanted to go home I knew it was because of the ring.
I mean for gods sake he is 9 years old and it wasn,t even his ring.
Anyway afterwards we had all got changed ready to go home and there was one of those machines that you put money in to get a toy.
I got ds one and my niece went to get one for the 3 year old but it took her money so she put more money and it took that as well.
After going to reception the 3 year old ended up with two toys.
Ds;s behaviour was appalling for his age and very immature he went into a strop that he only had one and she as he called her had two and it wasn,t fair.
He did all of this moaning in front of my niece and the little one.
I really told him off and so did my niece.
The sulking carried on in the car and kept asking as to why my niece could not just get her money back instead.
H e really showed himself up and made himself look pathetic for been jealous of a 3 year old and I have told him this.
Please what can I do to stop this kind of behaviour I know that my niece will not want us to go with them again.

Is he an only child or the youngest child? They can get quite posessive and are used to having all then attention, sweets, toys, then it is hard for them to share.

Best to discuss it with him calmly when he has had time to simmer down.

He is feeling insecure for some reason.

Reward his good behaviour and totally ignore whinges. If he starts bitching about other children's toys, take him straight out of the situation until he gets the message.

was he tired? IME older children (and 9 is still quite young, really) can behave like toddlers when they are tired, or just in a vulnerable mood

tricky, being 9, if I remember correctly

maybe you have to try the psychological approach. take to one side and in very gentle voice tell him he's not being very kind, and he is a big boy of nine surely he doesn't want people to think he is 3 then ignore it all.

Well, if he was mine and had constantly moaned whilst in the pool he would not have got a toy on getting out. On his later behaviour I would have offered the choice of stopping moaning immediately or having to give you the toy until you could trust him to be nice.

Agree with all of the above - does he often behave like he did at the swimming pool/around other children? If so, he might be overtired (start of summer hols, burnout from summer term), or feeling the need to play out and nag because he is insecure about something. Has anything changed in your lives that could affect his behavior?

I would have told off mine there and then too - he needs to know it's innapropriate. 9 is still pretty young and slip ups happen, but it's good to remind them that you don't get away with whinging and jealousy when you're 9, either!

I think maybe the toy should have been confiscated for a few hours until he calmed down and apologised though.

And yes, 9 is tough - old enough to be held responsible for being naughty but not quite old enough to remember your manners at all times lol. I remember still being fairly stroppy at age 10 but calmed down as soon as I went to middle school x

what BelligerentGhoul said.

(great name btw)

but then I made my two (3 and 5) come home from the swimming pool before we even got to the changing room because they were being horrible to each other.

oh the shouting and wailing in the car on the way home