What do you do if your 2.5YO chooses Time Out?!

[MrsJamin]

DS1, 2.5yo is your typical toddler and refuses to do pretty essential things like let me get him dressed or stay still for nappy change. After a few requests for compliance, I say "otherwise you'll go on Time Out"! And he'll say "Time Out" quite calmly. Argh! Sometimes I do proceed with putting him on the bottom step and walk away, and then we get compliance after some tears and a "sowwy" but I can't help but think he doesn't really get Time Out yet! Should I persist or do something else? I need the threat of TO to do something not just doing it!

DS does this and I do what you do - put him on the naughty step (as we call it). He does exactly what your DS does I.e. howls and then has cuddles although sorry is not often said. I try to keep my threat of the naughty step to a minimum and always do what I say .

Yes, keep going. Ds2 did and still does this at 6 - I think partly it's because he knows he's been naughty and kind of wants to get away from me being stroppy at him - fine by me! . So upstairs he goes, and after however many minutes we get an apology, hugs and start again...

So yes, I'd say it's working so keep going!

if my charges went and sat on the step, id just say to them its fine for them to sit there if they want to, they are free to get on and off whenever they like, and they wouldnt be ignored in the same way as they would be if they had been put there by me.

My DD has just turned 2 and has started doing this.

Like you, after a few chances, its do xxxx or you go your room. Quite often she chooses go to your room! She then tells me shes being silly and that mummys cross. She has her time out then says sorry and returns to do what i was asking to start with.

In some ways i think its good that she knows shes being silly and that she needs the time out to calm down and reflect but it can be quite annoying when she calls your bluff! :)

my just 2 DS seems to think by choosing to sit in his naughty spot, he builds up credit to then be naughty and not have me put him back there after he's committed his crime!

The reason they don't get it, is because it doesn't really mean anything. It doesn't teach them anything other than to do what you want so they don't get punished.

isn't that sort of the point of Time Out though? I thought it wasn't supposed to be a punishment as such, but a way of breaking up a fraught situation, or diverting from unwanted behaviour. so if a child chooses to take time out, and comes back a bit calmer and more willing to listen, it sounds like it's working.

I'd never thought that if he opted for Time Out, then it was working as he wanted to calm down. I couldn't really figure out why he wanted to do it if he generally cried whilst sitting there.

Again - sounds like you're not a fan of TO, what would you do instead when you have a child that won't get dressed?

yes exactly - to me the time out is for ds's and/or me to get some time away from the situation - a period of calming down as well as removing them from whatever they're then doing - which could be a punishment if they're watching TV, but might not be.

i agree, i don't see it as punishment either. its a time for him to calm down, and then when its fiinished, we have a cuddle and we have a chat about what he did and why it was wrong. For us, its really working (apart from getting the credits by sitting there before being naughty!)

I too am intrigued Again, what do you do?

My DD (5) openly admits to enjoying being naughty, and when someone asks her if she's going to be good, says 'no'. Even the school headteacher says dd makes naughty choices. :(

LOL. My DS is 3 today and has been a bit of a horror this afternoon. After one particularly dramatic wobbly he took himself upstairs, and reappeared 5 minutes later happy as anything. Saves me having to do it for him

Does the 'time out' actually work, i.e. does he let you do his nappy/do as you ask him? If so, then I'd see it as a way of getting him to do as he's told rather than a 'punishment' IYKWIM.

Sorry, I seem to have posted without reading other replies

Yes the time out does work even though he asks for it! That was the strangest thing to me but I guess it doesn't matter. I might see if he'll walk to the step himself next!