Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

so, how irresponsible would it be......

83 replies

MrsMc82 · 05/08/2010 11:06

...... to go to the corner shop while ds (6mo) is napping....

just want to gauge how terrible it would be to do this and if anyone actually would do it.....

would take me 5 mins to get there and back if was just grabbing some bread and milk for instance (and have even thought that i could even have the home phone next to the monitor and listen to it on my mobile? - see thought about it lots!)

main reasoning is that its a faff to the buggy out of the car and then get him in it just to go round the corner...... though is it actually illegal??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Ilythia · 05/08/2010 18:13

Seeker, I do see your point, and weirdly wil quite happily talk in the street with people after putting dd's to bed, even though I can't hear them, or go into the garage with DH and his bike running so I can't hear them there either, but it is your own perception of the risk imo.
I personally feel 'leaving them in the hosuse alone' is something I wouldn't want on my conscience, even though odds are if anything happened to me it would be while I was in the hosue with them [klutz]

Plus some of the situations on this thread mean that I can totally see why other parents would do it, it's all about how you justify the risk to yourself I think. After seeing the incident above I don't want to put myself in that position, it doens't mean it will ever happen to me though!

AnyFucker · 05/08/2010 18:21

seeker, I get you

but since when was being a mother "rational" ?

grumpypants · 05/08/2010 18:47

I think I may have the answer to the why is it different thing! Just been thinking while cooking tea. Ok, putting my thinking out loud hat on. You don't have to go to the shops - you choose to leave your house at a certain time (ie when the baby is awake) and it might be inconvenient. But, you don't have the option of calling someone to sit with the baby while in your cellar because you are responsible for your property and it's safety and the stuff (incl 'livestock' in it.)

so, you can choose not to go to the shops with / without the baby but you have to live in your home. And you don't have a safer option than having a shower/ drinking wine while the baby sleeps precariously on the sofa.

It's kind of what you actually have control over.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Mindy1 · 05/08/2010 18:47

seeker
Are you a professional risk analyst - why on earth would we approach daily decisions without some form of instinct. It hasnt been mentioned here but I am sure Madeleine McCanns parents made what they thought was a measured risk. However instinct is an entirely different beast.

Also you didnt answer my question - how long have you left your children as you seem to think that those who do not are far too overprotective.

BitOfFun · 05/08/2010 18:55

It only took 55 posts!

DollyTwat · 05/08/2010 19:02

I've taken the baby sitter home when the boys are asleep but she does only live literally 5 mins away. Only done it twice though. It does feel wrong so don't do it often.

Ilythia · 05/08/2010 19:06

Do we need to rewrite Godwin's Law for the McCann's?

FourLittleDucks · 05/08/2010 19:10

I've done it - quick walk to the shop at the end of the road. Didn't feel quite right, but made the decision to do it.

Likewise I've been next door while a baby naps to borrow sugar or something, thinking that it's absolutely fine and come back to find a screaming baby

lolalotta · 05/08/2010 19:13

No way. Not in a million years.

Skimty · 05/08/2010 19:14

I agree with Seeker.

DS's nursery was a 5 minute walk and I've often woken DD to go and get him while cursing my stupidity. I wouldn't have been happy to leave her because I am an irrational being!!

staranise · 05/08/2010 19:15

The reason for not leaving them alone is in case anything happened to me, not my child - eg, I get knocked over, mugged, fall over and knock yourself unconscious etc etc. Eg, last year I stepped off a kerb and twisted my ankle, couldn't stand up, had to be helped by strangers etc. I would have been mortified to have to explain that I needed taking straight home because I'd left a child alone there.

I am very accident-prone and quite ditzy (have been mugged, twisted ankle, locked baby in house with pan on stove, etc etc). But hey, I'm sure most of the time it would be ok but given how non-urgent most of these errands are, for me at least, it's not worth the risk.

MumNWLondon · 05/08/2010 19:23

If its so near just put the baby in a sling when she wakes up and don't faff with buggy.

I also once got locked out - took rubbish out and front door slammed shut. Luckily DD aged 4 was coaxed into passing keys through letterbox.

DilysPrice · 05/08/2010 19:25

In theory it's OK, but I never did it - mostly because it was never that urgent - you never really need a pint of milk that badly. But the only valid reason why not is that you might get run over or lock yourself out.

I once accidentally locked my mother in a cupboard when I was two or three and my brother was in his crib. My father was away on business, so the only thing she could do was send me next door for help - she said it was the longest five minutes of her life.

AnyFucker · 05/08/2010 19:26

star...that is exactly what I always say

of course a baby is "safe" in a cot for a few minutes

rightly or wrongly though, society will judge you if you get knocked unconscious while down at Spar picking up the latest 2-for-1 offer on quality wine whilst leaving your baby home alone

as against injuring yourself on your own loft ladder, whilst your baby is in the same house

< shrugs >

mybabylookslikepob · 05/08/2010 19:33

No way, I just couldn't. I do know someone (lives in Belgium) who leaves her kids (3 and 5) for 2 hours every morning - she leaves for work at 6 and her mother can't get there until 8 to look after them. She says it's OK as she's bought the 5-year old a mobile phone.

tostaky · 05/08/2010 21:12

it reminds me of DP telling me to go for a run when DS1 was asleep (and he was at work)

Never left any of the DS at home alone during their nap but i regularly leave them in the car to do go to the post-office or drop something home before going to the park etc... which is quite bag because what if something happen to me? or what if someone crash into my car...
i live dangerously!!

seeker · 05/08/2010 21:28

So we have finally come to it - courtesy of AnyFucker. We all know that the baby is absolutely fine at home in his cot for 5 minutes, and that we could quite easily fall down the cellar stairs at home...but it's all about what people would think. Now I try very very hard not to live my life along those lines.

And no, I didn't leave my children at home alone while they were babies - but I suspect only because I lived a drive away from a shop. And because I am as irrational as anyone - the difference is I acknowledge my irrationality - I don;t need to justify it with what ifs.

And Madeline Mccann is not relevant to any thread about anything. A dreadful tragedy -but not relevant. For reasons tha anyone thinking for more than 30 seconds would realize.

MollieO · 05/08/2010 21:34

Like others have said I would be worried about something happening to me and not being able to communicate that I'd left a 6 month old unattended at home.

Ime being a parent is all about compromise and sacrifice and I am always bemused by these threads where parents aren't willing to do either .

Ragwort · 05/08/2010 21:39

I would do this (& have done in the past not so relevant as my DS is older now) - I am sure lots of parents would but won't own up to it - especially on Mumsnet with all the judging that goes on .

TurtleAnn · 05/08/2010 21:40

I have done it once when I knew he would need milk the instant he woke and we had none, and I also knew he wouldn't wake up for at least 30-minutes. I can see the corner shop from my back door and I left all the doors and back gate open and told the builder working on the house next door that I was going to the corner shop and my 1-yr old was asleep in bed. I took 3-minutes according to the cooker.
But I would never do it again, imagine if I had been run over, the shop had been hijacked, the cooker had spontaneously combusted. I know these things never happen, but they could. I would take the screaming hungry baby to the shop when he woke.

seeker · 05/08/2010 21:55

If you're carrying the baby and something happens to you it would happen to the baby too! Better hit by a bus in mum's arms than crying in your cot til someone finds you?

ButterpieBride · 05/08/2010 22:00

Hmm, I have left my 3 year old sleeping in the pram outside our front door (on our drive in a very sleepy suburb where all the neighbours know each other) while I have gone to get the spare key from the in laws house 3 doors down.

The next door neighbour was in his garage working on his car and knew she was there though...I did wonder if I would have done it without him there. I think I would.

In my defence, I was locked out, I was in pain and had the baby in the sling and that 3 year old is hard to get up our drive in the pram (I usually make her walk but we had had a long day). Said three year old would have gone to grandmas house anyway if she woke up and I wasn't there-she is constantly trying to "escape" there.

Mindy1 · 06/08/2010 12:32

Why not relevant seeker the thread is about leaving children on their own. Anyway, enough has been said, everyone is entitled to their opinion as to how/why they justify their actions/deciosn.

staranise · 06/08/2010 15:12

But of course it's not just about what people think. If I was knocked unconcious outside the hosue, how would anyone know I'd left a child at home?

ALso many 'quick trips' often take a lot longer - there's a mother up my road who regularly used to collect her child from nursery while leaving her younger DD asleep (aged 2) in bed (not a cot). I asked her about it and she said 'I'm only gone 5 mins' - she wasn't, I used to walk to and from the nursery with her, it would take - seriously - up to 40 minutes. I know her 2 year old was/is fine but that, to me, is just not safe.

Most of these errands are just so minor, why risk it?

And I know the chances of stuff happening is rare but it does happen - eg, my friend parked outside a cashpoint and deliberated whether or not to take her two sleeping children out. She decided to be cautious and did so, despite the hassle - and then stood at the cashpoint and looked on in horror as a lorry ploughed into the back of her car, writing it off.

As I've said before, I don't consider myself to be precious about safety at all so it's interesting reading about waht other people are prepared to risk.

wukter · 06/08/2010 15:28

tie a note around your neck, evacuee style: baby asleep at home, 123 fake street - then go.
in case of meteor etc

Flip

1 2 3 4