Smokey aunt and my 2mnth old

[emspeth]

Hi all

I have a kind but heavy-smoking aunt and am struggling to manage boundaries to minimise my child's exposure without banning her from our lives.

She wouldn't dream of smoking in our house but she's such a heavy smoker, she smells of it all the time.

I managed to stall her cuddling him till he was 2 months and it was only for a few mins - but even then it felt wrong as the smell on her was so strong. She's invited us to visit her, and I have no problem explaining he's too young to be in a house where people smoke. But what about cuddles and picking him up when she visits? Should I say not directly after she's smoked (e.g. within 10 mins of coming in from fag break?). Or is it not safe for her to hold him at all, at least till he's past the main SIDS risk phase?

She doesn't see us too often (once a month I suppose) so is a brief cuddle dangerous (as opposed to just clearly distasteful)? I hate smoking and would do anything to protect my DS, but at the same time I want to find a realistic way to include her in our lives as she is a great person except for the damn smoking.

your baby will be fine - don't restrict the cuddles!

do you take your baby out in a pram ever? the exhaust fumes from hundreds of cars belching out at just the same level as the pram, are much worse that the residual smell of ciggie smoke on your poor old auntie!!

I have similar issues but with my mum and dad, who both smoke heavily. I asked them not to smoke for half an hour before they came to see baby and asked if they would wash their hands before touching her. They;ve been fine with this, although my dad thinks I am being a bit precious! I don't care - I don't want my baby to breathe in smoke and don't want her to smell of smoke when handed back to me!