DS refused a place at the daycare

[Ispy]

He's my third. He is spirited (2.6yrs) and hits and bites sometimes. I walked in to the daycare and couldn't believe my eyes; a group of about 10 toddlers sitting on a rug playing with lego etc. and in he comes weilding a truck...
I told the daycare lady he hits sometimes to which she responded 'some of these kids don't even know what hitting is'...
Oh God back to the drawing board...Don't know why I'm posting. Am usually an accomplished Thread Killer so expect the same here............Just feeling a bit blah.

Why has he been refused? Was it just on the basis of what you said? Or did he hit/bite the other kids?

"Spirited"?
I have a Pain-In-The-Arse DS so am sympathetic to owners of similar, but you need to provide more info about what has happened.

I had the same reaction to 'spirited' ragged.
Many daycare places won't take a known biter, especially if the parents think he's just a bit lively. The other parents kick up too much if their LO comes home with fang marks on them, and they want their children to be able to play without fear of being bludgeoned.
You need to explain exactly what happened, did they even give him a chance?
You could check the rules and see if you have grounds for appeal.

I'd be horrified if nursery staff allowed a violent child whose parents were unwilling to address the problem to continue to attend and bite my child TBH.

Can you not sort out the biting. The being loud, running round with trucks, well that's what two year old boys do. The biting - well for most kids they will bite once or twice but if the behaviour is stamped on hard in terms of consequences it doesn't repeat IME. Come on OP, make a plan with the nursery for what to do if this ever recurs, talk to your child and make an agreement on how you will all solve this problem.

The biting - well for most kids they will bite once or twice but if the behaviour is stamped on hard in terms of consequences it doesn't repeat IME.

I had a biter - although if I recall he only bit me and his brothers - never anyone outside the house. But in my experience it was not a case of once or twice, stamping on hard, and that was it.

It was a long process - I did come down hard, but it was still a long process.

I have had it from the other side too - where my child was bitten or hit by others. I think a nursery should be used to it and have ways of dealing with it. My problem was only when it happened in a home environment and the mother of the biter did nothing - at which point I decide to steer clear and avoid said family.

OP needs to give more details about why the nursery rejected him if we are to give any constructive comment.

Thanks for all the responses. Should have been more detailed. We were just viewing a daycare. No previous involvement with the center. I mentioned that he is going through a phase where he is hitting and has bitten me on occasion. Based on what I told her she told me that she had some very difficult parents who kicked up at the slightest incident.

Having slept on it I realise that it wasn't going to be a good fit if I was worried all the time that he was going to do something.

I have a lot of thinking and sorting to do. My other 2 were not hitters and biters and believe me I am trying so hard every day to get him to stop.

Thanks for all the imput.

Hang on, so they didn't actually refuse to have him at all? In fact, you never even applied for him to attend there? The owner/manager probably does have legitimate concerns about having a regular biter on the premises as indeed, some parents will kick up as soon as their child gets the slightest nick. However, depending on how the conversation went, isn't it possible that she just wanted to make you aware that she might be pulling you into the office frequently to discuss it or that some other parents will be giving you the evil eye? Your reference to how differently he was playing to the other kids is a bit odd however, surely you expect 2 yr old boys to be playing with trucks? Do you have other concerns about his behaviour?

Confused?!

So he hasn't been refused a place at all?

I would go back and speak to them and not just make assumptions.