My 2 yr old is driving me nuts - help me get through the afternoon please...

[MunchMummy]

I have DD1 (just 4) and DD2 (26 months) at home with me over the summer hols.

DD2 is very defiant and determined and liable to throw a tantrum over the smallest things.

But today she has been completely evil and I'm at my wits end with her. I'm shouting and crying and its not fair to my 4 yr old.

Please someone say something to help me though the afternoon, even if its only to tell me when the tantrum stage stops (DD was very good and only had about 5 tantrums ever).

For example this morning we had 2 tantrums over breakfast, because I dared to put a bowl of cereal (her usual) infront of her. And so on it goes.

Help!!!!

Stick her in front of cbeebies or her favourite dvd and then do something with your older DD in another room, while enjoying a cup of tea and some chocolate.

Agree. When she sees what a nice time you two are having she'll want to join in and then you can set out the rules. That's what I do with DS (2.5).

Thanks people. Sadly she doesn't like TV, so thats not an option. Infact the only thing she seems to like doing to winding us all up.

DD1 and DD2 currently shouting 'No' to eachother.

We're off to a playground this afternoon, but I know she's going to kick off again when I pop her in the pushchair. I can't let her walk all the way there as I don't yet trust her completely not to jump off the pavement into the road.

Maybe a tranquiliser dart

If it all gets too much, stick them both in the bath - and get yourself a cup of tea. Or put some really loud dancey music on and dance about the room.

When do the tantrums stop? well they dont really do they - they just mutate into something else.

Just walk out of the room though before you shout and congratulate yourself everytime you manage it.

your dd2 is exactly how my dd2 was at that age so i know how you feel and fully sympathise with you, the only thing i found that worked was to go out even if it was to the local park and let her run for her life

On the third tantrum this morning I walked out into the garden as I couldn't cope with them. Came back in 5 mins later to DD1 crying saying DD2 had pushed her. I just can't win.

ROll on 7pm and bedtime. In Sept I think I'll start to look for nurserys that I can pop her in for a couple of hours twice a week to give her a break from evil mummy.

tegan - so when did it start to get better? [desperate emotion]

You're not evil you are just tired. We all are.

Have you tried having a tantrum yourself with her - that sometimes works - or that American Happy Button idea - works well with mine - you poke them in tickly places shouting 'wheres your happy button?' Sounds crap but it can work.

I hate shouting at them, but she tantrums that often it just winds me up so much and I snap.

I'll try the happy button idea.

She's actually been quiet for 20 mins now - maybe shes starting to get tired (hasn't slept in the day since 17 months old though).

I second the bath idea, does she like having a 'fun bath'? Just throw all the bath toys in let her muck about. DD2 can stay in there for an hour and it is bliss for her and for me

Why wait until september to start nursery? My dd1 is 2.5 and I also have ds 7mth. I am SAHM and we normally go to 4 different classes/groups a week but everything stops for summer hols. She started last week doing two half days in nursery and loves it. It gives me time with ds which is precious and breaks up the week for us all. Think a lot of tantrums are boredom based in this house.. Failing that filling the sink with water and plastic bowls/cups will always end a tantrum here. HTH

What is it with toddlers and water? DS loves a bucket of water and paintbrushes to paint the side of the house. Or a sponge to wash his toy cars with. He'll be happy for an hour in the garden like that. Add a plant squirter and he's in heaven!

Oddly, the water table and toys specifically designed for water play are not as popular...

Have you tried giving her choices? Sometimes I feel like a waiter at breakfast time...ready brek or weetabix? Blue bowl or red? Apple or orange juice? But it's worth it to avoid the strop if I get it "wrong".

Doing a bit of "How to talk..." stuff can work too. I asked DS if he was feeling grumpy the other day as he was in one of his destructive moods. He said he was feeling angry so I asked him what we could do about that. We decided to have a bit shout to let the anger out so we did that, then he was happy to move on.

MunchMummy You have my sympathy. I am at work now, but I could not wait to get in after yesterdays tantrums / hitting and kicking me and my friend (who was actually buying an extremely expensive christening outfit for the ungrateful child). I wished the ground had just swallowed me.

I was seriously considering to go back to work full time. He obviously does not enjoy my company .

Thanks everyone.

We've survived the afternoon and we've all calmed down.

I strapped her into the buggy and took her and DD1 on a longish walk (2 miles) to a playground.

As I hoped she fell asleep. I woke her up after 10 mins and after a sleepy ice-pop munch she has turned back into the lovely little daughter I love. The monster has gone for now - until tomorrow.

Many thanks everyone - its nice to know there are others out there in the same situation.

overthehillsandfaraway - I don't want to send her just yet as 1) the cost 2) I'm about to get my first proper time with her since she was born and want to try and make the most of her before she grows up. Saying that after 4 years of being a SAHM with no nearby family I'm DESPERATE for some time to myself and am looking forward to putting her in somewhere. Also, all the pre-schools around here don't take them until 2.5 at the earliest.

Thanks everyone again x

muchmummy - dd is 6 now and the only thing i have found to help is to keep her occupied myself, which is draining but does work.

try going outside with paint and letting her do hands and feet and get as messy as possible and then let her clean herself with the hose, this can be a good 2 hour event in our house.

a good clean one i have found is a decorating paint brush and a bucket of water and let her paint the patio as it dries she starts again

reality it never really gets better, seperation is best in my house so no one gets hurt