Mum looking after DD - DD 'doesn't like her' what can I do?

[dreamylady]

Mum will be looking after DD (5) for a few days. They don't see much of each other and so aren't very close. DD is anxious about it - as she would be being left alone with any adult she doesn't know well, she has suffered with seperation anxiety quite a bit due to her background (bit complicated to go into here). Mum has high expectations of behaviour and can be a bit abrupt, she's not very warm around children and tends to treat them like mini adults - but she will take good care of her in her own way. DD says she doesn't want her to come and doesn't like her because she tells her off and tells her to do things all the time. DD's other grandma is the complete opposite, totally dotes on her and showers her with love and attention.

I really want the two of them to get on but I'm nervous about how things will go - I'm afraid of these few days setting them back rather than bringing them closer. Can anyone reassure / advise?

My sister always says she would rather stay with me than my gran I am fun and have children for her to play with. She goes and her and my nan usually have fun I think it will be fine .

My Gran was just like this when we were little and I never wanted to go. Actually, though, the few times we had to spend a few days there it turned out fine and we actually had fun.

I'm now really close to my Gran and glad we had that time together when I was little.

Not sure what you can say to DD about it now, but I think it will more likely strengthen their relationship than damage it further. Can you tell her some stories from when you were little about your mum seeming abrupt but being nice really?

thanks both for the reassurance. DD has just cried herself to sleep because she knows I won't be with her tomorrow . Fingers crossed it all goes well - I think they will be ok if they keep busy!!

I had terrible separation anxiety when I was 5ish and when my grandparents (about who I felt exactly the same as your DD does about her Grandmother) came to look after us for a week I cried for about 10 minutes until I got distracted by something or other and then I was fine for the rest of the week! Make sure you leave lots of things to do, perhaps have a designated time you will call to make sure everything is okay?? I am sure it will be fine

oh thanks lulabella - have done them a list of things to choose from!!

That's okay! I am SURE it will be fine!

anyone watching - it went really well today, they had a great time . Amazing the difference it makes to the dynamics when I'm not around. DD was exhausted tho, combination of lots of fun and trying hard to be good all day .
Thanks so much for all the support.

Oh that's lovely!

That's great! Hope it continues to go well!!