How to discipline a 4 yr old going on 14??

[fickle]

DD1 is 4.5 and generally a very good, nice little girl.

However she has been, for the last couple of months been getting very 'teenagerish' in the way she answers me back.

For example: Me: Can you tidy your Barbies away please?
Her: Sigh..Hmph...I'm not a maid y'know. (More sighing and huffing as she throws them in their box.

Me: Stop doing that, or I will get cross.
Her: (Mimicks me silently with a look of defiance)

Me: (Takes toy/item way from her as she is naughty)
Her: I hate you I hate everyone Noone likes me, I don't want to live here anymore I HATE YOU (Screaming)

I know all this is normal - but what do I do in these situations? She refuses to go to her room if I tell her, and shes not too bothered if her dad tells her off either.

Any advice?

I'm sorry, no advice. DD is just like this and been driving me up the walls with this attitude for the whole of the school holidays.

My DD is the same age and (so far) very easy going so TBH we tend to avoid commenting on "I'm not an octopus, do I have 8 arms?" type comments that occasionally get thrown out if she's told to tidy up. But I do pull weird faces at her when she's looking paricularly belligerent which jollys her out of it.

If your DD won't go to her room, can you not carry her there and hold the door shut if necessary?

Fickle - are daughters must have been seperated at birth!!!!
Having major major dramas at the moment - im hoping its just a phase (another one) but its given me some reassurance that im not the only one!
My friends have a naughty stair - and for love nor money would my dd use one of those - so my dp and i have called it a thinking stair - she goes their to think about what shes done. It doesnt seem to work and i spend my whole time 'making' her stay on it. Hopefully one day it will work! she gets 3 chances and then goes to her room, we have also got a clock with huge numbers on it directly opposite the stair and i say to her "right you have to saty uintil the big hand goes from 1 to 2 and then you can get off. It doesnt seem to be working as yet tho! Persaverance is what is needed here and also i only ever punish her for 1 thing at a time eg- if she is really cheeky and starts to trash my lounge she will go on it, if in the meantime she is really cheeky and naughty i try to egnore that and keep reminding her that shes there for trashing the lounge. I have also stopped arguing with her and tried to keep requests/rules as simple as possible.

fickle i have dds age 5 and 4 (and one but she's not yet doing this).

with dd1, when she won't get dressed etc or won't do what I ask I put her out in the back garden/porch. whatever the weather. I leave her with her clothes or shoes to put on and don't let her back til she gets dressed. or calms down. she hates it. it's very effective and meanwhile I can get on with other things.

if they don't tidy up or really misbehave I take their toys awa for a few days. if they did repeatedly do it I would take some toys away to the charity shop.

on the more positive front I use the famous mumsnet pasta jars and they earn pasta for clearing up, getting dressed in time, etc, and then can "spend" the pasta at the weekend. when we are in a sorted phase this works well. when we get out of control I resort to the other options.

Thanks for the advice. I think I am a bit a fault too as I give into her too easily half the time. She makes me laugh - she ias absolute angel at nursery and when round family etc.