When your children cheat at games....

[Othersideofthechannel]

what do you do?

Whenever we play a dice game eg Snakes and Ladders, DD likes to roll the dice where I can't see it and then (unless she's unbelievably lucky ) fix the dice.

If it's just me and her, I turn a blind eye. Just wondering what other people do in this case?

(If another child is playing, I insist on the dice being rolled where everyone can see.)

I turn a blind eye to my 4 yr old, but encourage my 7 yr old to play fairly.

How old is she?

Ohhh no, no cheating in this house

My rule is there is no point in playing if you are going to cheat- it is one of the few things I am quite strict about actually. But it was the same for me when I was growing up.

DS3 is the cheating cheater from Cheatland here and I call him on it every time. He still tries though - he's a very bad loser, and cheats to ensure he wins. I'm on a mission to get him to accept he can't always win, but it's not going well.

She's 5.

Mostly when we play, older DS is playing too. He likes to stick to rules and routines, so it was never an issue with him.

When the game is such that I can't pretend not to notice any cheating (like Junior Scrabble) I wouldn't let her get away with it.

Ds2 is also a very bad loser and spectacularly threw junior monopoly off the table one Christmas

Funnily enough, DD isn't usually a bad loser. But she loves to win!

Depends on mood and circumstance. Dd is 4.

Mostly I say 'dd, I am not playing with you if you cheat'.

Sometimes (if very near bedtime and she is very tired and fractious) I say 'is this a cheating game then? ok' and we play it all a bit silly and I say 'right, you won the cheating game!'.

The problem is that if you let her cheat she'll do it when playing with friends and then find their reaction very hard to cope with. You need to give her a calm safe environment in which to learn about playing fairly and losing so that she can cope with losing to her friends.

Sympathise with her and explain that everybody needs to have a chance of winning in order to enjoy the game. If she cheats, nobody else has a chance and they won't want to play with her.

Do you think it matters children think we are stupid enough not to realise what they are doing?

WEll, that's why I like to make a point that I know and it's not great. But yes, sometimes I let it slide and sometimes I just say no.

Oh, I'm not worried about that Al1son, she gets plenty of practise playing games by the rules with other children and with me.

In that case I'd just be open about her cheating and acknowledge it as part of the way you play together. Then she's very clear about playing by different rules with different people.

You can joke about it and have fun as you acknowledge it.

To be honest, it suits me when she cheats at snakes and ladders because otherwise it can drag on and on!

Yes, Al1son, I probably should let her know that I know.

I ban the game, tbh. Just no point in playing at all -- it's okay if the cheater is playing with only me, but if they try to play with other kids it ends in disaster and I don't feel like sorting the hard feelings out afterwards. I suspect that most kids can't handle losing until age 8 min.

6yo DS is literally banned from playing any win-lose game with other kids whilst in my presence, and especially Tag!

Top Trumps, he's sometimes ok with that if we talk A LOT first about how he must accept it if he loses, and almost nobody gets to win.

If ds is just playing with me and dh, we make a joke of it. And I always point out if he tries that with friends they won't want to play. Seems to be OK so far...

When I was a kid, monopoly was our family cheating game and the challenge was to cheat as brazenly as possible without the others realising what you were up to. Quite amusing when everyone's at it.

DD (4) thinks she is quite a good cheat, I spot her pretty much every time. She either does the thing with the dice, magically on 6 every time, or moves her men in Ludo further than she is supposed and I KNOW she can count quite well, thank you.

I pick her up on it, as she is not just getting it wrong, she is being conniving.

And I won't have it!

So there!

YY DD1 (4) rather inclined to cheat but she is a bit obvious (uses the dice & counting tricks too) and I always call her on it. My nephew, on the other hand, has been allowed to cheat and at 7, can't play a game properly and can't stand to lose.

We do sometimes bend the rules--if DD1 keeps losing I bend the rules in her favor next time as she's usually very good about losing and it's not much fun if you never win.

IUntil recently had never had to deal with cj=heating children, Dd1, Ds2 and Ds3 are very fair play and do not cheat. I have recently played several games with Dd4 (3 1/2) and OMG she cheats! The problem is she does it in a cute way I find it so hard to tell her off. I am trying the gentle "it is not nice to cheat" approache but she does not seem to care much ATM.

How do you cheat at Scrabble?

I remember cheating at a game aged about 7 - just me and my mum. SHe noticed, packed the game away immediately, and we were never allowed to play it again.

I hate playing games with her still.

That's interesting Pfft. Did it stop you cheating afterwards?

I sometimes pack the game away, but not for cheating. I do it when they choose a game that requires a lot of concentration like chess and then start getting distracted and the pieces keep getting knocked over.... Grrr, that winds me up.

Well, I can't really say as cheating wasn't a thing that I did - I was just being a 7 year old, I wasn't looking to win.

It's sad I think, when I see adults getting annoyed because the child isn't playing the game in the proper way - moving the pieces properly, answering questions in the right way, not being patient enough. Children are not adults. They don't have the concentration we do, and it's not nice to have someone annoyed at you because you weren't doing it correctly.