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Parenting

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Original poster

TV in bedroom

36 replies

TheFruitWhisperer · 30/07/2010 11:11

Hypothetical really, I mentioned to my friend that I didnt really agree with tv's in bedrooms for younger children, as you cant be sure what they are watching all the time (ie if they get up in the night and start watching Eurotrash or equivelant).

I also think getting into the habit of watching tv in bed, getting used to having the tv as a comforter etc isnt that great. (Read lots of things about too much tv affecting attention levels and stuff)

She got angry (as I imagine she probably has a tv in her sons bedroom) and accused me of being controlling, a boring mum and that my kids will be the sort who go to other childrens houses to watch tv. To confirm, Im not against tvs! Just tvs in bedrooms! And I wasnt saying parents who do have them are bad, just that I personally dont want my child to have one.

Whats the general feeling on this? Am I going to be too strict!?

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Seona1973 · 30/07/2010 11:17

Neither of mine have one in their rooms (aged 3 and 6) and probably wont ever have one until they are much much older. I feel bedrooms are for sleeping in and having the tv on would interfere with that. Maybe its because I never had one in my room when I was a chid.

uptooearly · 30/07/2010 11:18

No, I don't think you're being too strict. My two are only little so there's no question of it (although DS1 was impressed enough by his grandmother having a TV in her bedroom to ask me for one. When he was two.), but I don't intend them to have TVs in their rooms when they're older, for all the reasons you outline.

Also, I think that watching TV should be something to be done as a family, and in moderation. We only have one TV so we have to compromise on our TV-watching habits, which I don't think is a bad thing for children to learn.

mamaloco · 30/07/2010 11:18

No TV in bedrooms, it is bad for sleeping. Even for adults, one per house is enough really.
It is not being boring it is being sensible.

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TheBreastmilksOnMe · 30/07/2010 11:21

No way will my DC have a TV in their bedrooms I mean why on earth for? Same goes for a PC. If I can't monitor what they are viewing then I'm neglecting my duty as a parent.

montmartre · 30/07/2010 11:22

She is being too defensive- and trying to justify her parenting choices.

Bedrooms are for sleeping in, and yes of course you want to have some say in the content your children access while they are young.

webwiz · 30/07/2010 11:30

Mine are 19, 17 and 13 and they have managed to survive without tvs in their bedrooms. We do have more than one tv (the second one has the xbox connected to it and a dvd player and it is the designated "Big Brother" tv as that is the only programme that they watch that I really can't stand!) but I have never really seen the point of everyone disappearing off to watch stuff all by themselves.

scurryfunge · 30/07/2010 11:36

I allowed one for my DS when he was 14 .......I haven't seen him since

usualsuspect · 30/07/2010 11:39

Mine all had tvs in their bedrooms [neglectful parent]

Original poster

TheFruitWhisperer · 30/07/2010 11:44

My DP's family have one in the kitchen but they do have a very big family and his dad uses it for Turkish TV. I dont find that too bad generally. And I just remember weekends at my grandparents, all sat down with Grandads special Saturday night Curry to watch The Hulk, Casualty and 999. It definately was a family thing.

She says her son watches a certain film everynight and it sends him off to sleep, but still, that might be right for her but not for me. She really was quite rude actually! Definiately defensive!

Thanks all! Feel far less like an ogre now!!!

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BelligerentGhoul · 30/07/2010 11:47

Your friend is an idiot, who feels the need to insult you in order to justify her own behaviour. Using TV to 'send a child off to sleep' is, quite frankly, appallingly bad parenting imho.

No, no, no, no to TVs in bedrooms. Mine are 15 and 13 and have survived so far. They moan about it but hey ho...they'll cope!

primrose22 · 30/07/2010 11:50

We have a small tv with a video built in which is used as a 'spare' My dd, who is 9 has it in her room as a special treat when she has a friend to stay and they watch a video. Its useless as a tv and to be honest its nice that she still sees it as an occasional treat, rather than the norm!

lola0109 · 30/07/2010 12:31

My sister put a tv in my nieces room when she was 3 and said it was the worst thing she could have done. DN, who usually went to bed almost straight away then wanted dvd on, then another, then another.

When she moved house the rule was no tv in the bedroom and they now have a playroom (I am very jealous of this room) where they can watch tv/dvd's/wii etc but that room is out of bounds from 7pm as it's then wind down time for bed.

Works great!!

My DD's won't have a tv in their room but I have a small box room that I will eventually turn into a playroom/tv room and try the same method.

Although, I don't have one in my room as I believe it disrupts sleep I am so tired with my 2 under 2 just now that I could sleep through anything. So I am very tempted to get one in my room so that DD1 can watch cbeebies when she gets up ridiculously early so DD2 and I can sleep on. I haven't caved yet!

mamsnet · 30/07/2010 14:24

Can't ever envisage allowing it personally..

I would never have one in my own room either. I can't think of anything less conducive to sleep.

mamasunshine · 30/07/2010 16:14

I remember having one in my room for about 12 months when I was 9yo. My uncle had gone travelling so 'lent' it to me. I stayed up ridiculously late every night, used to listen out for my dm coming to check I was asleep, turn it off faking sleep, then it would go back on again!! I remember being sooooo tired at school. So from this experience mine definately won't be Admittedly we do have one in our bedroom at the moment, but purely for me whilst breastfeeding. I totally agree that bedrooms are for sleeping in and it will be going as soon as I'm not couped up in the bedroom feeding for ages

LIZS · 30/07/2010 16:19

nope - dc 12 and almsot 9 have no tv's . We have one in our bedroom and they sometimes come in in the mornings to watch (not during school term though)

sweetkitty · 30/07/2010 16:26

I get this a lot from my DDs wanting a tv in their bedroom as their friend got one when she was 3. She goes to bed every night watching DVDs and gets up in the morning and watches DVDs, Cbeebies is on constantly in their main living room and apparently she hides the remote control to stop the parents turning it off , their 2 1/2 year old is now wanting one in her room apparently!

I am holding out as long as possible probably until mine are teenagers.

didgeridoo · 30/07/2010 20:50

My dd has had a tv in her bedroom for several years. There's no aerial attached so she can't watch Eurotrash or such like, it's purely for DVD's. She sleeps in a cabin bed & the tv is underneath, so she can't fall asleep watching it. I think "no tv's in the bedroom" is too much of a sweeping statement. It depends how it's done.

zapostrophe · 30/07/2010 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ttalloo · 31/07/2010 06:37

I don't intend to allow TVs in the DCs' bedrooms (I won't even let DH put one in ours because I don't want to have to fall asleep to the flickering lights and too much noise), and am quite absolutist about it, but I do admit to finding didgeridoo's approach quite interesting. Still wouldn't do it, but it's clear that it can work if handled properly.

Roo83 · 31/07/2010 10:56

My son is 2 and we went to stay with some friends who's children (6 and 9) both have tv's. Since coming home he keeps asking for one in his room, but there is no way I'd let him have one until a lot older if at all.

It would def.make my life easier as he'd sit for hours and watch thomas if I let him, but I prefer the times he does watch tv to be when we are together so we talk about whats happening he at least gets something from it rather than just staring at a screen.

MathsMadMummy · 31/07/2010 11:07

she's just being defensive (and rude!)

why does a child need a TV in their room? even DH and I don't have one in ours.

I really dislike the idea of an evening being spent with everyone shut away in their bedrooms watching telly.

bronze · 31/07/2010 11:10

My boys have one in their room but its only for dvds.
We have a small living room and 4 children so I sometimes use it as a quiet space for one of them to go during the day. Nothing better than watching tv under a duvet when you're ill but not when you have 3 siblings racketing around.
They have been known to watch it before bed too but we are very strict about it and if we found they had put it on after lights out then it would be gone

LimaCharlie · 31/07/2010 11:17

Mine both have tvs in rooms as we don't have a spare room / play room yet.

They don't watch much tv and definitely not at bedtime, its purely because with a big age gap they don't always want to watch the same thing on the main tv or DS may want to xbox with his friends.

The house is so tiny that there is no way that they could watch without me knowing and no way they could watch anything unsuitable other than their DVDs.

Still don't get why its such a big deal

notagrannyyet · 31/07/2010 11:29

I have allowed mine a TV in their room after GCSEs. So at the moment 17 year old has TV(5 channels) and a DVD player. The 15 & 13 year olds just have radios & CD players. Still don't allow PCs in bedrooms. DS can use one that is kept for their use in the study, and the 17 year old uses his laptop in the dining room. That is also where they play on PS3 or Xbox.

inthesticks · 31/07/2010 15:44

I allowed one for DS1 when he was 14 and it's hardly ever used. Might be because it only has freeview not sky.

Now if the x box was in his room.......

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