Advice from mums of three plus children!

[ladyflapperflop]

I have three DC already and am considering a fourth.

I wondered if any mums of four or more could offer me any useful advice re pros/ cons, things they found particularly difficult, how you manage with all the children's different needs, etc

Do any of you wish you had stuck at just two?!

Many thanks!

I love my brood.

But seriously the major two problems are: no hotel family rooms that can cater for 4 children; and you will need a 6/7 seater car.

And your life will never be serene again.

I obviously dont wish I had stuck at 2, but with 4, we are outnumbered. You are already outnumbered though. That is the hard bit for me.

Quite often my DH and I separate for family days out into pairs because it is easier,less whinging etc.

It is also expensive, you need a bigger car, bigger house probably and 4 of everything. Friends dont invite you round because they cant cope with all 6 of you,we have friends who also have 4 and we havent seen them for years because no one can face it.

You are also notorious at the school and in your neighbourhood and if anything gets broken, or whatever people come looking for you whether it was your kids or not.

When I had my 4 it was considered unusual it is not so unusual now though.

On the plus side they always have each other, can be great friends and can occupy each other.

With regard to their different needs, I say treat them fairly according to their needs rather then equally where everyone is treated the same iyswim

Go for it.

Sometimes wish I had stuck at 2 .

I think we are going to need a bigger car even with three as I already can't fit their friends in. The space is an issue as we couldn't afford to move at present.

My concern with time is more spending one to one time with all the children, although that is already a huge struggle with three!!

Are you Dc's close together in age?

I dont think an extra one makes that much difference really.

I forgot to mention that your standards of housekeeping will probably drop.

Iloveponies- Not very close- have 6.5 yrs from the oldest to the yongest at the moment so would probably have a gap of 8.5- 9.5 years if we went for no.4!

Do you think that would be difficult?

I have 4 girls of 8,5,2 and 21 mo, the biggest thing I have noticed is the amount of laundry I do, its never ending!

Holiday companies won't cater for us so we usually either book everything independently or camp abroad.

I have 3 and wish I had stopped at 2 but I would not be without dc3 now they are here.

DS is 12 weeks and so far it's hard hard work but he is so gorgeous and worth it.

Other 3 are 6, 4.6 and 2yo so still quite young.

Laundry is endless, we have a huge bus car which is horrible to drive and park, we are currently planning and extension as our house is tiny and I am freaking out at the thought of living through major building work with 4DC (no option of moving out), some days I could cry but wouldn't change it for the world.

I hate laundry. For some reason, with a new baby, the amount of laundry seems to double and then it settles a little (only a little though).

we have three - and for a few plus points...
I would always have a busy life (pre programmed), at least this way, my children are at the heart of it, rather than being a part of it.
I think we spend more time as a family than we would if we had two, easier to head off in different directions with one parent each when there is just two.
Sibling love - the more the more - unbeatable!!

I have a 10 yr old, a 8 yr old, 6 yr and 6 week old.
As everyone has said it's the car that was the biggest issue that we still haven't resolved, at the moment we travel in 2 cars until we can save up.
There will also be the bedroom issue too, I want them all to have their own space so we'll need to move with all the expense that goes with it.
On every other level though it's a doddle and he is lovely, no regrets if anything I'd send one of the bigger ones back.

Y'know, the car issue is the only thing that's really stopping the manshape from agreeing to another one....

Re the car issue, we have a multipla which isn't a huge monstrosity and easy to park and has plenty of room for 3 carseats across the back seat, however we are now ttc #5 so we are looking for a minibus.

and if you based having children on logical arguments, you would decide not to have any at all. I think you know when your family is finished and where there is one more little one in there! I play the "biological urge" card when asked why three!!

We're actually looking for a multipla, 4andnotout, but atm, even the old style second hand ones are a bit out of our price range...

Tell me about it, I had to borrow the £1400 from my nan to pay for ours and then pay her back from my family allowance, we are now in catch 22 situation in that we need to sell our car to get enough to buy a minibus but obviously if we haven't got a car dp can't get to work or to find a minibus...

We have 3 - 4.7, 2.11, 1.3. We are very busy, especially as the eldest has SN.

We have just bought a Ford Galaxy so that is fantastic. It was only £850, an S Reg, but it has solved our car issue. Until then we used a Ford Mondeo, but 3 car seats was a squeeze, and probably not entirely safe because the door pushed them a little when it shut.

misty- I think that you are spot on about the 'biological urge'! I still have the urge even though if I think logically, it is a crazy idea!